A Humanist Wedding

Today, in England and Wales, we can add the introduction of licensed venues, civil partnerships and (imminently) same-sex marriages to this list – but there is one other form of ceremony which is inexorably gaining more and more attention – Humanist Ceremonies.

Why a Humanist Ceremony?

Wouldn’t it be great to start your married life with a ceremony that really means something? To tell your friends and family what your relationship means to you, and why you are choosing to get married?

Many of us who aren’t religious are looking for a wedding that is more flexible and personal than a civil or register office ceremony.

A humanist, non-religious wedding ceremony gives you the opportunity to marry where you want, when you want and how you want. There’s no set script: it’s too personal an occasion for that. Instead, each wedding is tailored to meet the particular couple’s requirements. You can set the tone that’s right for you and choose your own words and music.

Humanist weddings are perfect for couples who would like:

  • A meaningful ceremony that isn’t religious
  • To marry outdoors or at a location that isn’t licensed for civil weddings
  • The flexibility to create a personal ceremony that is unique to them
  • To get to know the person who will be conducting their wedding
  • To celebrate their marriage with family and friends but without legally registering it – perhaps they have already undertaken the formalities overseas, for example.
  • So if this ceremony strikes a few (wedding bell) chords with you, then we’ve put a little information together to help you out with the basics and practicalities of planning your own Humanist wedding.
  • Those who don’t feel comfortable with the conformist aspects of a religious wedding have the option to legally marry by conducting a ‘civil ceremony’ (and have done since the 19th century) and those who want total freedom have the further alternative of holding a Humanist ceremony.

In essence, Humanist Ceremonies present a simple way to allow each couple complete freedom and control over this central part of their big day – whilst focusing on shared human values rather than traditional religious aspects.

Get married outside!

One of the major plusses for choosing a Humanist Ceremony, besides the aforementioned freedoms, is the opportunity to conduct the main part of your ceremony outdoors!

Find the right music for your wedding

When you begin that walk down the aisle towards your fiancé the atmosphere is going to be electric. So make sure the music you choose is not going to kill the mood of your wedding day.

We suggest that you don’t choose anything too cutting edge. That doesn’t mean to say you can’t show off your taste in music but if you choose that week’s number one hit, you might regret it in years to come. Just as you might regret wearing a wedding dress that’s heavily styled for the moment. Go a little classic and you’ll never be out of style.

There are also some things you’ll need to bear in mind when making your music choices.

You need to consider just how long it’s going to take you to walk down the aisle. It usually takes about one to two minutes for most brides to walk the aisle. So choose a piece that doesn’t have a long intro or is instantly recognisable. If you’re planning a religious ceremony, some churches won’t allow you to play non-classical music or your own music. So you need to check your choices with the vicar.

Next, you should be thinking about how your music is going to be played. If it’s in a religious building, keep it classic and have it played on the organ. Alternatively, you could organise your own musicians to full the hall with romance.

Four pieces of music to play when you walk down the aisle;

The wedding processional from the Sound of Music.

Not a religious piece so you can use it in a civil ceremony. It’s majestic, grand and dramatic all at the same time. You’ll feel like a princess when you walk down the aisle to this.

Clair de Lune by Debussy.

This is a gorgeous tune to have played on the piano. It’s quiet, atmospheric and very romantic. Also not religious, so you could have it played while your guests are being seated.

For The Love of a Princess from Braveheart.

An atmospheric folk tune that’s emotional and sentimental in the right ways. Bound to bring tears to the eyes as your guests watch you start your walk.

The Bridal Chorus by Wagner.

Well this is the most traditional of traditional music to walk up the aisle to. Everybody will know you’ve arrived when this starts to play!

Now what about after you’ve said your vows? When you’ve signed the register and you’re legally man and wife and starting the first steps on your new life together?

Here you can change the tempo a little bit, and have something that’s celebratory and uplifting.

Signed, Sealed, Delivered I’m Yours by Stevie Wonder.

This says it all really. You’ve said your vows and you’re on your way. A timeless piece that’s joyful, catchy and instantly recognisable.

Still look fabulous when you spend less

Hair accessories

Hair accessories can be a big outlay for something that you will only wear once. Instead of one expensive tiara, why not opt for a lower cost small bridal comb and a few pins or clusters of grips? These can be arranged in groups to create a high-impact look for less. Mix and match the styles to create an elaborate big day finish.

Make an investment

Why not spend your wedding accessories budget on a few key pieces of bridal jewellery that you will wear again and again long after your wedding day? Even a statement and more expensive piece of bridal jewellery will effectively cost less if you wear it lots of times!

Perfect presents

It is wonderful to include family members and friends in your wedding planning so why not ask them if they would treat you to your bridal jewellery for your next birthday or Christmas present? People are often stuck for gift ideas and love to be part of your wedding preparations.

Double up!

Make your bridesmaids’ accessories their thank you gifts. Simply tell them you have their jewellery sorted and give them a wonderful surprise on the big day. It also ensures that your girls will be wearing accessories which fit in with your wedding theme.

Borrow

If you loved your Auntie’s or best friend’s wedding dress, then why not ask if you wouldn’t mind borrowing it? 

Wedding dresses can always look different if the veils are changed and the wedding bouquet is a different colour. We are sure that the person you borrowed it from would feel very happy that the dress has been put to good use and will bring back some good memories of their special day.

We are sure you can think of many more money saving ideas for your big day – just remember less is more…

Summertime entertainment

Make the most of the sunshine and delight your guests with the best in British summertime wedding entertainment for your wedding day and evening party. Let the fun begin!

Forget high priced tickets for muddy fields and distant views of so-so bands bring the festival to your wedding instead. Set up a stage or two, pop up a beer tent and start booking your acts. The famous festival mixes its music, so you can hear an up and coming bad one set, then opera the next! Do the same; mix rock and jazz, acoustic and electro, DJs, opera singers and solo sax. Remember, that gospel choir who performed at the ceremony and the function band you’ve booked for the evening would probably love to be part of your wedding too!

Turn your wedding into a traditional fete on the lawn, with lots of activities for all ages, and a slap-up tea on vintage china in the marquee instead of a formal sit-down meal.

Give your wedding a contemporary twist with a roving street magician ready to thrill anyone with card tricks and logic-defying illusions anytime, any-place, no table required.

Keep the little ones amused for hours with the help of professional children’s entertainers. Kids can twist and turn with balloon modellers, fall about laughing with a clown, get artistic with face painters. Warning; adults always want to join in too!

Bring a sense of theatre to your festival with unusual acts, such as stilt walkers, living statues, mime artists, themed walkabout and more.

Hire some paparazzi desperate to take your guests’ photos, and get the latest scoop. Give your guests a taste of celebrity fame when the pics get posted online to a private micro-site, to view and buy if they wish.

OK, we know the weather is even more unpredictable than the best man’s speech, so choose wedding entertainment that works just as well in your venue as outside on the lawns, such as micro-illusion magicians, caricaturists or a small jazz band.

Moving away from tradition

From the dresses to the huge floral arrangements, more and more brides and grooms are moving away from the usual traditions associated with weddings. Mismatched bridesmaid dresses, cupcakes, sweet tables and mason jar centrepieces; we have seen more couples break free from traditions over the past few years, and it seems that couples are set to push the boundaries even further in 2016!

Gifts for the groom

A trend that is really taking off this year; more brides are choosing to purchase a sentimental keepsake for their husband-to-be for the big day.

Grooms will often purchase an extra something for their bride, but now we are seeing this trend in reverse. Cufflinks have become a hugely popular choice. Practical yet still sentimental and very classic; they allow the groom to wear them on the day, and then they can be worn in the future too. 

More personality

Websites such as Pinterest have encouraged brides and grooms to put their own stamp on their wedding. More couples are incorporating their own style into their big day, doing things differently, having their own wedding ideas and giving their guests a day to remember.

Weddings have changed. They want personal touches that show off their personalities: they want vintage tea parties, rustic country settings, to wear Converse with wedding dresses and to dance in barns with bunting and hay bale seats. They are creating whole weekend events – mini festivals, almost. The traditional wedding rule book has gone and brides and grooms to be now do whatever they want.

The non-traditional dress

The overarching theme for weddings this year is “being yourself”, and this is no different when it comes to the dress. This year designers have focused on adding small details and embellishments to dresses that have never been seen before, from sheer skirts to bodice illusions, that help brides feel like one-of-a-kind.

How to include your Mum in the ceremony

Mums teach us a lot. They’re by our sides through thick and thin, and, with any luck, have been the major helping hand in many of life’s biggest moments like planning a wedding. Sometimes it seems near impossible to pay Mum back for all her love and support, but she is your Mum. And because she’s your Mum, we guarantee she’ll be as pleased as punch from even the smallest of gestures. 

1. Have her walk you down the aisle!

Don’t think you need to find a male replacement for that Moment if Dad’s no longer in your life then the perfect choice will be your Mum, or if Dad is still around why not have both parents walking you down the aisle?

2. Give her a flower before the altar. 

Dad still doing the giving away? Take a Moment before you step onto the altar to give your mother a flower from your bouquet. Purposefully singling her out right before you say your vows will show her (and everyone in attendance) how crucial her support has been in getting you there. The gesture will become even more special if you tuck one of her favourite blooms into your bouquet and present her with that. 

3. Set aside a space dedicated to her memory. 

If your mother has since passed, place a framed photo of her and her favourite flowers on the chair where she would have sat.

4. Include Mum in the getting ready fun. 

Book her a seat next to yours while you and your bridesmaids are getting your hair and makeup done. Involving her in this girls-only tradition will let her know that you see her as a friend and confidant, which is the ultimate compliment.

5. Recreate a moment from her wedding day. 

Sort through Mum’s wedding pics and select a photo you find particularly striking. Surprise her by bringing the shot to your wedding and recreating the pose with your photographer—we guarantee she’ll be touched by the gesture.  

Plan you Wedding Cake

One of the highlights of every wedding; the cake!  Guests might forget your first dance song or the colour of your table runners, but your friends and family will always remember what your wedding cake tasted like — and looked like.

Whether you prefer sugar or fresh flowers, pretty blooms are the perfect accessory for your wedding cake!

Wedding cakes with flowers are one of the most popular big day desserts, and for good reason! Pretty blooms add vibrancy to an otherwise simple cake at a relatively low expense. It allows the bride and groom to skip pricier decorative techniques — like fondant or hand-cut details — in favour of floral adornments.

And though sugar flowers cost more than fresh, the fake buds are still a cost-effective way to upgrade your wedding cake without bursting your budget. The best part about going the faux-flower route is that the colour and design options are endless.

If you prefer to use real flowers (which look absolutely gorgeous on a big cake!), choose a bloom that’s currently in season and complements your wedding theme.

One of the most popular ways to include flowers on a big-day dessert; the topper! Many couples are forgoing traditional cake toppers in favour of fresh blooms. But if you can’t image skipping the classic bride and groom, consider other options, like sugar petal details or scattered buds at the cake’s base or between layers.

With countless options, including hand-painted, cascading, single-bloom, and overloaded-floral styles, it’s impossible not to find a delicious confection you absolutely love.

Don’t deny it

Has he just proposed? Have you just said yes? Well then, these thoughts and feelings might sound familiar to you guys and all other newly engaged couples – don’t deny it!

Facebook status

Once you’re officially engaged, then comes the time to update the Facebook status. But wait – before you go from ‘In a relationship’ to ‘Engaged’, you need to ring the important people first! We doubt your mum will be very impressed to discover that she’s found out after your second cousin twice removed that you’re getting married. Big no! But updating it is always a good, and easy way to help make sure you’ve not forgotten to tell anyone.

YES, we’ve got so many likes

Here’s where all the likes come in, and both of you have got to admit – you’re feeling pretty popular right now. Your relationship status got tons of likes, and don’t even get us started on your Relfie (relationship/ring selfie) on Instagram…

Perfecting the proposal story

Especially when you’re newly engaged, you’re going to have to tell your proposal story again and again and again and again, and again. Like, so many times. You’ll start to get a bit of a pro at story telling in fact – you’ll learn how to impress the crowd, and maybe even embellish it here and there. Who will ever know that it wasn’t the real Elvis that serenaded you after your new h2b proposed? And no one will blink an eyelid at the mention of that unicorn…

Do we get presents?

Any excuse to compile a huge list of presents you want, and then to be, only slightly, disappointed when your post-box is filling up with vouchers for house and homeware shops and you suddenly become the owners of four toasters. But then you realise that his request of a new Xbox and yours of a pair of Jimmy Choo’s may not be that practical for a soon-to-be married couple.

Third wheeling

All this lovey-dovey stuff might mean that you’re too loved up to realise that your friends might be missing you a little bit. And the way you deal with that? Invite them over… to third wheel! Don’t deny it, you know you’re guilty! Whilst it’s not okay to make your besties third wheel all the time, it’s fair enough to say that when you’re newly engaged, it’s a prime time in your romantic relationship so it’s allowed. But beware!

Hen/stag party excitement!

Is it bad that one of the first things you want to do is to plan the hen and stag nights, and not the actual wedding? Don’t worry, it’s quite common. Especially when the first thing that every single one of the groom-to-be’s friends say is “what are we doing for the stag weekend?”. They fuel the excitement! It’s all part of the process after all. Other engagements?

Are you planning a beach wedding?

Once you find the perfect wedding dress and booked an amazing seaside wedding venue, you need to start thinking about your look. 

What constitutes beachy wedding hair for you? Braids, texture with waves. A fresh unstructured playful look.

What should a bride do if she’s marrying on a beach in a humid climate and is prone to frizzy hair?

The best thing to do would be to have braids or twists in the hair, or have the hair pulled back fairly tightly. Always embrace the texture and using salt spray to add to it, perhaps have some braids around your face for some pretty detail and then it doesn’t matter so much if the rest of the hair gets a little frizzy as it adds to the look. You can also use a strong hairspray to seal the hair but it can look quite fixed so although it seals away moisture it may not fit for a relaxed look as much.

What styles work for a breezy beach in the UK and why?

It depends on how warm it is, but if it’s really breezy, a loose chignon of some sort to keep the hair away from the face. A look with loose tendrils and texture would be ideal, nothing too fixed and neat. Then if it isn’t too structured the odd hair being blown about will add to the look and it will not look as though anything is out of place.

How can a bride master boho, beachy waves?

The conical wand is best to create natural looking waves in the hair, and salt spray for adding texture is brilliant. Adding a few fishtail braids woven through or around the face can look very boho; a fine floral crown looks amazing with this style or a few small flowers dotted through the hair also will look beautiful.

What type of wedding hair accessories would you recommend for a beach wedding?

Definitely a flower head crown– Or a few faux flowers dotted through the hair.

DIY Decorations

You don’t have to spend a fortune on wedding decorations. Have a go at a project today and give your day a personal touch with handmade creations…

Fabulous fans

How about making some brightly coloured pinwheels for your marquee reception. They add a real pop of colour to the venue, but if you want a softer, more subtle look, try pastel shaded pom poms.

Vintage bunting

You could use pastel coloured cloths and vintage style bunting to pretty up your vintage tea party reception. You can pick up table cloths pretty cheaply on eBay to get a similar look.

3D table numbers

Make cardboard 3D table numbers and then cover them in pretty, shabby chic style fabric. A simple and effective idea that you can easily make at home with old off-cuts of fabric. Mix up the patterns and colours for an eclectic look.

Hanging old pictures around your reception venue is a sure-fire way to get guests talking. Personalise the room with photographs of all your loved ones, then let guests find their faces. You could adapt this for use in your table plan, too.

Pretty pom poms

Draw your guests’ eyes upwards with a ceiling full of paper pom poms and lanterns dangling from the rafters. This year’s hottest wedding designs and decorations are to be found on the ceiling. 

Rustic jars

Ask your friends and family to keep all of their old jam jars as they make cute arrangements for a rustic theme. Mix and match different shapes and sizes and fill them with cheap wedding flowers like gypsophilia for a feminine, just-picked-from-the-garden look.

Trend alert!

This potted plant table plan is such a lovely wedding decoration idea, perfect for a country themed wedding. You can pot them up yourself, use them as a table plan, and then hand them out as thank you gifts at the end of the night. Double DIY delight

Top table runners

Long trestle-style tables work brilliantly with table runners down the middle – go for gingham if you’re planning a country-style celebration like this couple or hessian if you want a more rustic look. A striking runner will mean you won’t have to go overboard with your flowers, either.