Tips to help the years ahead

Do things together

Plan things to do with your hubby or wife-to-be! And it doesn’t just have to be at the weekends, what about a midweek date night to keep you going for the rest of the working week? Date nights aren’t only for people who have just started seeing each other, married couples need date nights too. Plus, who doesn’t love getting dressed up and eating something that’s not a microwave meal every now and then?

Compromise

The point of marriage is that you share your life with the one you love. Now, that can get a bit complicated. This is where the art of compromise comes in. It starts before marriage, because it has to; if one of person in the relationship can’t see themselves sharing the rest of their life with the other, then getting married isn’t the right thing to do, is it now? You can’t be selfish anymore – compromise is necessary to make it work! You may have wanted one thing when you were twenty years old and single, but things changed over time and you make room for the one you love, and they’ll make room for you.

Talk

Talk it out. Are some of the wedding plans worrying you? Tell them! Communication is vital to a happy marriage – you should know everything there is to know about each other: all the good, the bad and the ugly. Why don’t you just tell him that you really hate that jumper that he got you for Christmas? Why don’t you let her know you’re not happy with the amount she wants to spend on the decorations? And why not tell him that you and his mother are just never going to get on. Because really, what’s the point in not being honest with the person you’re spending the rest of your life with?

Listen

Talking + listening = the dream team. Mostly because not many people like talking to a brick wall (or a useless equivalent), and also because talking things out between you is the best cure for any kind of problem! Being able to take on board anything that your partner says to you is a key factor of a happy marriage, and likewise for them to take on board anything you have to say. Like we said, it’s all about communication! It makes things a lot easier to share your worries or problems with your loved one than keep it to yourself – you never know; they might just say something useful! (Or at least can offer a cuddle at the end of it).

Be best friends

Being totally open with each other and the art of compromise sort of link to this too: be best friends with the one you love! You’ll laugh, you’ll cry and you’ll be able to share things you didn’t think you’d ever share with anyone else. Why? Because that’s just what best friends do, and who in their right mind wouldn’t want to live with their best friend for the rest of their lives? Answer: no one. Want to find out if your husband or wife-to-be is your bestie?

Work at it

We’re sure lots of people have already told you, marriage isn’t the easiest thing in the world. The wedding is a beautiful day that you’ll always remember, but it isn’t all three-course meals, confetti and honeymoons from there on out. It’s hard work! But don’t give up too easily – there will be arguments and there will be disagreements, but with a little bit of patience, you’ll get there; the good times will make up for the bad times. Trust us, you just wait and see.

Know your value

We’re sure you do already, but you’ve got to make sure that you both realise how important you are to each other! You know each other better than anyone else in the world – you know when they need you the most, and when you should give them a bit of space, and they know the same for you! It’s not necessarily about saying ‘I love you’ every second of the day, it’s just about knowing how special you are to each other – with no words needed to be said. Although, a nice ‘I love you’ here and there works just as well, of course!

Keep up appearances

Just because the wedding day has passed and you’ve got the ring well and truly on your finger does not mean you should let your appearances slip. Okay, so we’re not saying you’re not allowed your weekly Sunday slob-days and so on, but it’s good to still make the effort every so often! Remind them how lucky they are to have you by wowing them with a new haircut, outfit or a weekend away – and it’s not a bad treat for yourself either!

Be realistic

With all that being said, you’ve got to be realistic too! Don’t set high expectations on marriage being an absolute dream, and most importantly, don’t set high (and impossible) expectations on your wife or husband. No, they probably can’t mind-read that you wanted this not that for your Christmas present. No, they probably can’t magic up an amazing meal just in time for when you step in the house. And no, they probably don’t really want to give you a foot massage after a long day at work. Give your partner a break (and you might just get that foot massage out of good behaviour!).

Perfect pictures to capture

You won’t want to forget moments of your Wedding (only of course Uncle Jimmy passing out from one too many!!) So here is a list of photographic ‘must haves’ throughout the day.

  • Before the ceremony

  • Shots of the bride and bridesmaids getting ready

  • The bride and father in the car

  • The groom preparing

  • Wedding dress hanging on a beautiful hanger

  • Wedding Shoes

  • Groom waiting (nervously!) outside venue

  • Shot of the bridesmaids

  • During the ceremony

  • The bride’s grand entrance

  • The guests’ faces on seeing the bride

  • The groom waiting at the altar

  • The ring exchange

  • The kiss

  • Register signing

  • Bride and groom leaving

  • A confetti shot

  • It’s traditional to have photographs of:

  • Bride, groom, best man and ushers

  • Bride, groom, and both sets of parents

  • Bride and groom as new couple

  • Bride and groom with bridesmaids

  • Bride and groom with brothers and sisters

  • Bride and groom with grandparents

  • Bride and her mother

  • Groom and his father

  • Bride and groom with friends

  • Whole bridal party and guests

Reception

  • The decorated room and table plan before the guests arrive

  • Bride and groom entering

  • Speeches

  • Cake cutting

  • First dance of the bride and groom

Of course, you can add to and amend this wedding photography checklist however you want. But these are the classic images to build around. Enjoy your big day!

Brides don’t have to do all the work

Men aren’t usually as good at multitasking as women and many have a habit of leaving things until the last moment. So not to leave the Groom in the cold and help out the Bride here a last-minute checklist for your new hubby-to-be so he can see at a glance what he has to do and when – and you get the peace of mind of knowing that he’s on the case, hopefully.

Most grooms rise to the occasion of their wedding and dress smartly, even if they don’t go the traditional morning coat and tails look.

Whatever type of suit your fiancé wears, it needs to fit him perfectly and should be cleaned and brushed. He needs to have every aspect of his outfit in place and organised well in advance and absolutely not go shopping the day before.

Take his suit out of its bag and hang it up the night before to air and allow any creases time to fall out. It’s also a good idea for him to have a spare shirt handy, just in case something gets spilled down his front at the last minute.

Accessories are also key to a groom’s look. Firstly, he needs to have some new socks on. They don’t have to be black, if he wants to rock a colour or stripes then let him. Just make sure his socks don’t have holes! Other accessories he’ll need to have are cufflinks for his shirt, his tie or cravat and any other option extra’s that he wants to wear with his outfit.

His shoes should be shiny and polished and if they’re new he needs to wear them in a bit before the big day – just as you have been wearing in your wedding shoes. He might want to wear a tie pin as a piece of jewellery and if you want to give him a gift of jewellery for your day, then this is something to consider.

Just like you, your groom needs to be thinking about his hair on your big day (just think of the photographs you’re going to have taken). He should have it cut no more than a week before the big day. If he wears it longer it needs to be shaped and if it’s short, then it needs to look sharp.

If you want to treat him, you could organise for him to have a cut and shave at a high end hair salon so he feels really special.

A ring is an everlasting symbol of your love and commitment for one another and it’s the groom’s job to get the rings organised. No pressure there then!

Your husband to-be needs to buy wedding rings for both of you and check that they are the correct sizes. If you’re having something bespoke created then you need to be sure that the rings are going to be ready in time, and the pair will need to be cleaned and tucked away somewhere safe until the big day. Your rings are a main event when you tie the knot so it’s essential that they fit correctly and that he has them ready.

Losing the rings may be something that happens in sit-coms but it has been known to happen in real life, too! It’s traditionally the best man’s job to take care of them in the church and hand them over to the groom in time for the ceremony.

Alternatives to the traditional guest book

Puzzle pieces

We love this fun puzzle idea. Your guests write a message on the back of the wooden jigsaw pieces and then you fit them together after the big day and create a wonderful, original work of art to display long after the big day. Just make sure you ask guests to write their messages before the drinks start flowing!

Celebration Tree

Let your guests design an original work of art for you to treasure and admire in your home for years to come with the Celebration Tree! Your friends and family simply ‘leaf’ their fingerprint onto a chosen branch. They can sign the leaf if you wish but celebration tree also offer a self-adhesive signature plate that you can stick to the back of the frame picture if you wish.

Vintage typewriter

Your guests type a message on the long scroll of paper set up on the old vintage typewriter. Hear the clunking of the keys and again another fun interactive way to engage with your guests. Great nostalgic idea and will make a wonderful table piece. If you can’t borrow – or you don’t want to buy – a vintage typewriter just for one day, how about hiring one?

Wishing well cards

Wishing well cards are a fun alternative to traditional wedding guest books. The pretty bird designs work especially well if you’re planning an outdoor or nature-inspired celebration. Your guests simply write their good luck messages, or their advice for the future, and then mail them into a beautiful birdcage. There are lots of colour options available, too, so you can easily find the one that works well with your theme.

Wooden hearts

This idea is so romantic! Ask your guests to sign their love on a wooden heart keepsake that you can keep in your treasure chest to look over on your anniversary. You could even make these wooden hearts your inspiration for your whole wedding theme, and offer heart favours and incorporate a heart onto your thank you cards.

Garden party wedding

One of the biggest wedding theme trends last year was ‘garden party’, but this year’s brides are set to combine this elegant theme with rustic country details. With these top tips, you can make this ever-evolving theme personal to you.

Outdoor venue

To hold an authentic country garden wedding theme you usually need one of three types of wedding venues – a country barn with fairy lights wrapped around the beams, a marquee reception with hay bales for seating, or a quintessentially English manor house with beautiful gardens filled with blooms where you could set up garden games for your guests to enjoy.

Tea and cake

What’s a country garden party without high tea? Instead of a traditional dessert, put a tiered cake stand on each table filled with scones, muffins and cupcake so guests can help themselves, with a pot of tea and coffee on hand to wash it down. Why not stir up a little competitive spirit among your guests and have a Great Wedding Bake-Off?

Set up a table in the marquee and ask guests to bring their homemade goodies. The bride and groom can then present first, second and third prize before cutting their own wedding cake.

Pastel perfection

From the details through to the bridesmaid dresses floral prints and pastel shades are best suited to a country garden theme.

The best floral prints for this theme are pansies, daisies and roses. Think pink, lavender, turquoise and lemon for perfectly pretty girls. Keep shoes nude and hair accessories minimal – flower headbands, perhaps?

The little details

It’s the little details your guests will notice, so consider some of these country inspired ideas… Handpicked flowers for the wedding bouquets and centrepieces, raffia-tied jam jar favours filled with mini eggs and handmade bunting with Cath Kidston-style material spread all around the venue.

Searching for cheap and cheerful favour ideas? How about attaching a place card to a shiny green apple, or laying a sprig of lavender on your napkins?

Boho bride

For a country look, consider a short or tea-length wedding dress, and for a bit of fun, add a coloured underskirt with matching shoes! Put real flowers in your hair and accessorise with pearls – the chunkier the pearls, the more modern the look.

Make sure you have some wedding wellies on hand for your outdoor reception, as well as some white umbrellas should you need to shelter guests at any point.

Country stationery

Textured stationery with a DIY feel will work really well with this theme. Raffia, cotton or button embellishments are great.

Arrive in style

Instead of a traditional vintage car, consider something a little more authentic, like a tractor! Just make sure you give it a good clean beforehand or you could end up with a muddy dress!

Country garden brides may want to take advantage of the (hopefully) good summer weather and walk to their ceremony – the ultimate eco-friendly way to arrive at your ceremony or reception.

Country entertainment

The obvious answer here is country music, maybe a live folk band for the evening? This type of fun upbeat entertainment will appeal to all ages and will certainly get everyone on their feet.

Popping the question

Popping the question is a huge moment for any couple, and most of the time, it’s down to the proposer to get it just right.

So what are those all-important things that go through every man’s mind before proposing?

Himself

Before speaking the official words of ‘Will you marry me’ to his loved one, there’s no doubt that his mind will be thinking ahead to a married future, picturing how it will actually be; him as an actual husband, and her as a wife. And if you don’t already have any little kiddies in the family, he’ll be picturing himself as a dad.

Another thing that will inevitably enter his mind is what has to happen before becoming Mr and Mrs: the wedding! Envisioning himself at the top of the aisle as his soon-to-be fiancée walks towards him is a pretty big moment, and pretty powerful stuff when it comes to emotions – it may even help him think of what to say!

The parents

Even though asking the father of the bride for permission is more of a tradition than common practice these days, the parents of the bride would probably appreciate a little hint into the fact that this guy might be the one to marry their daughter. It’s good to bare the parents in mind, just a bit!

The ring

Walking into a shop and choosing a diamond ring isn’t the easiest task for the typical man. Doing some digging into what kind of ring she may like to have on her finger after the proposal is something that will save men a lot of shopping time, and maybe even some nerves by the time it comes round to popping the question.

The method.

The next BIG question is HOW will he do it? This is where he’ll have to consider everything about his fiancée-to-be. Will she love a flash mob proposal or is she the kind of girl that cringes at the thought of a dance and sing-along? Is there a memorable date in your relationship that would be significant? Or is there a location that means a lot to you both?

The words

The words ‘Will you marry me’ won’t necessarily naturally come into conversation – especially when the proposal is a total surprise, who knows how the conversation will go with an unsuspecting girlfriend! Whilst you can’t plan everything, he should consider different ways of saying it and practice! It will help the nerves when it comes to it!

Save money on your big day

It’s easier than you think to save money on your big day. Here’s the first part with those easy peasy ways to keep to your budget during the wedding planning process…

Set yourself a budget

It’s essential to have a clear idea of what you can and can’t afford before you even begin any planning. With a strict, set budget you’ll be able to keep track of where your money’s going and you won’t end up overspending!

Prioritise

Before you start planning a wedding, think about what’s most important to your on the day. Plan to splurge only on the things that are really meaningful to you and your h2b, and save on everything else.

Simplify

It’s important that your day reflects you. Don’t try to plan an extravagant wedding if you don’t have the funds! Simple, elegant weddings can still be perfect and you won’t blow the budget. Remember – your wedding day is about sharing and showing your love for your partner, not showing off.

Shop around

Don’t rush into buying anything as soon as you’re engaged. Dress shopping is definitely a planning highlight, and it’s so easy to get carried away and end up buying the first dress you fall in love with. Make sure you keep your eyes peeled for the best offers and get an idea of different styles that are available. Likewise, get several quotes to make sure you’re getting the best price and research carefully so you don’t end up being overcharged.

Hunt for bargains

You don’t have to splash out on a designer gown if you don’t have the money. The high street has a great selection of wedding gowns and if you search vintage shops you may discover quirky and original finds for a fraction of the price.

Let your bridesmaids wear their own dresses

It can be a nightmare finding bridesmaid dresses that your girls all agree on. If you let your maids choose their own, not only will you cut out any dress shopping drama, but they’re also more likely to foot the bill at the end!

Create a salon at home!

You can still look and feel fab if you do your own hair and make-up. While getting styled by the professionals is a definite luxury on the day, if you’re used to doing your own make up, you’ll still be able to create a natural, beautiful look as well as saving money.

Just remember that it’s important to practise a few different styles before the big day to avoid any beauty mishaps! Why not book an appointment with a beauty consultant in a department store or go to a masterclass as part of your hen do?

Wedding doesn’t have to be conventional

If you are not a conventional couple and you don’t want to go by the book of how a Wedding should pan out for the day, why not incorporate your personality into planning your wedding day and have fun!!

1. Walk Down Memory Lane

Make the guest feel like integral parts of the day by incorporating them into the décor — in a gallery of meaningful photos. Why not hang pictures of the bride and groom with friends and family along the walk from the ceremony to the reception. It’s a fun cocktail party conversation starter. As guests take a leisurely stroll and find pictures of themselves with you, they can reminisce and socialize.

2. Break the Ice Creatively

When you enter your reception for the first time as husband and wife, don’t just take a conventional arm-in-arm stroll. Run. Skip. Dance. Swoop in on a rope swing! Brainstorm with your groom about the most creative, appropriate way to make a big impression. This is a great way to break the ice and set up for a fun vibe for the rest of the event.

3. Play Party Games

How about the menus being puzzles, so each person got one piece of the puzzle at their place setting, then everyone had to put the pieces together to get the full menu description. Crossword puzzles are fun for the back of a program or if you have guests going on a long bus ride to get to the reception venue.

4. Be Entertaining

Guests always love the energy of a live band but tend to want to hear the original artist sing their favourite tunes. As a compromise, a bride may hire a dance band but also play DJ music during the breaks, or she’ll arrange to have live music during some parts of the event and recorded music during others.

5. Surprise them!

Love poems from a book makes a wonderful, lasting guest favour that’s much more meaningful that a bag of sugared almonds! If you buy in bulk, you might get a discount — contact your bookseller directly. And don’t forget to add a personalized bookmark thanking your friends and family for sharing your big day with you.

Your journey is about to begin

Your journey has now begun and you are both on your way to being Mr & Mrs. but before you walk down the aisle or have that romantic first dance, you need to have the ever so popular engagement party! The engagement party is the time to get all your friends and family together to celebrate the brilliant news. Many questions surround engagement parties such as who organises the party, how close after the engagement should the party be, who should we invite etc. Well, here are some ideas…

Set the date- This is the most popular question… When is the right time for an engagement party? Well firstly, when you are engaged is a good start, but I figure you already know that! So the most popular time frame for an engagement party is within the first 4 months of your engagement. This is because there will still be such excitement and this is the calm before the storm of wedding planning. Go show off that new engagement ring, dance together as an engaged couple and enjoy the planning of the engagement party.

The Guest List- Firstly, do not invite guests to the engagement party who will not be invited to your wedding. This has happened before and can be quite rude. So make sure that the guests at your party will also be partying with you on your wedding day. The guest list can be as small or big as you like. Many futures brides and grooms prefer for the engagement party just to be close family and the full bridal party. Others want all their loved ones there, which can be very fun as you can then decide who is going to be that crazy friend at the wedding, which uncle will do the embarrassing dance first and which mum will cry first… yes these are some of the things to look forward to.

Invites- State clearly that is an engagement party, and not your wedding! You would be surprised at how often this happens. Also tell your guests the venue, time and dress code if applicable. Your engagement invites should represent what you and your fiancé are like as a couple so if you are having a formal engagement party, your invites should portray this. But if it is non-formal and more of a knees up then your invites do not have to be as formal. I know I know, but it is the small detail which makes all the difference!

Decorations- This is the part you can have loads of fun with. You could go and buy some engagement banners and balloons and have the balloons filled with helium for table centre pieces. These can be found very easily from any party store. You could also print out loads of photos of you and your fiancé from the day you met to the present day and place them around the room, your guests will love looking at these and it will bring back some beautiful memories. You could choose a theme for your engagement party and play on this. Even get your guests to dress up so your party really will be unique.

Entertainment- Your engagement party is overall the first steps towards your wedding and therefore it is a reflection of your wedding day. Your entertainment can be kept simple with a DJ and a few fun family games or you could go all out and hire a live band. Live bands are a great source of entertainment at an engagement party as they can talk to the crowd and really get them involved. You could also find some unique entertainment ideas such as a fun casino, caricature artist, a magician and even hire out a photo booth. The world is your oyster when it comes to your engagement party entertainment.

Overall just enjoy it all. This is you and your fiancés first official party as an engaged couple and that is all that matters. It is all about celebrating this massive milestone in each other’s lives and also spending it with your friends and family.

About Your Engagement

Your engagement is a promise to marriage as well as the period of time between the proposal and your marriage. During your engagement you are said to be affianced, betrothed, engaged to be married, or simply engaged. Future brides and bridegrooms are often referred to as fiancées or fiancés respectively (from the French word fiancé).

Long engagements were once common in formal arranged marriages and it was not uncommon for parents betrothing children to arrange such many years before the engaged couple were old enough to marry.

Origins Of Engagement

The concept of an official engagement period in Western culture may have begun in 1215 at the Fourth Lateran Council, headed by Pope Innocent III, which decreed that “marriages are to be … announced publicly in the churches by the priests during a suitable and fixed time, so that if legitimate impediments exist, they may be made known.”

Such a formal church announcement of the intent to marry is known as banns. In some jurisdictions, reading the banns may be part of one type of legal marriage.

Engagement Rings

A woman displays her engagement ring. The modern Western form of the practice of giving or exchanging engagement rings is traditionally thought to have begun in 1477 when Maximilian I, Holy Roman Emperor, gave Mary of Burgundy a diamond ring as an engagement present.

In the United Kingdom and many other countries, an engagement ring is worn on the fourth finger of the left hand. The tradition of wearing a ring for engagement originated from the Egyptians, who believed the circle was a bond between the two people who were to be married, but was initially first practiced on the fourth finger/ring finger by the Romans, who believed this finger to be the beginning of the vena amoris (“vein of love”), the vein that leads to the heart.

In the modern era, some women’s wedding rings are made into two separate pieces. One part is given to her to wear as an engagement ring when she accepts the marriage proposal, and the other during the wedding ceremony. When worn together, the two rings look like one piece of jewellery.

Engagement Parties

Some engagements are announced at an engagement party, traditionally hosted by the bride’s parents. These parties are given in the family’s usual style of entertainment. Traditionally, engagement parties were normal parties at which a surprise announcement of the engagement was made by the father of the bride to his guests. Therefore, it is not a traditional gift-giving occasion, as none of the guests were supposed to be aware of the engagement until after their arrival.

In modern times, engagement parties often celebrate a previously publicised engagement.