Luxury Weddings on a budget

With the average wedding in the UK costing around £20,000, it’s understandable why some couples quiver at the thought of tying the knot. But this shouldn’t steer those wanting to get hitched away from their dream day. To prove that this is the case, Oxford Abingdon Hotel have created a simple guide to give ‘wannabe weds’ some handy tips on how to avoid a five figure bill while still achieving a wedding day to remember

Avoiding an engagement party to cut costs is totally missing out on a valuable opportunity to gather essentials which could help to cover costs otherwise incurred. By being opportunistic and holding a small gathering to celebrate will spark generosity between friends and family which will be needed in the run up to the big day.

Nothing pulls harder on a guest’s heart strings than a handwritten invitation. Scattered with personalised notes and hand-stuck pictures; there is no cheaper way of convincing a guest to join in the celebrations on the big day.

Everyone wants to say their vows on the weekend. Instead pay less and give family and friends the opportunity to take some well-deserved time off during the week to celebrate? It often costs much less to plan your wedding on a Friday and means your guests can stay and celebrate with you all weekend long if you choose!

Being in love with a prestige location needn’t mean it has to be ruled out. For example, wedding venues in Oxfordshire, the Cotswolds, the Lake District and other countryside locations can be pretty pricey; however, by doing some homework, modern residencies like the Oxford Abingdon Hotel can cater for a range of sizes and budgets while still being in the heart of the destination.

One of the biggest costs faced is internal or external catering. As opposed to cutting back on courses or opting for a buffet, why not consider inviting fewer guests and upping the style of dining? Alternatively, a buffet can also be a viable option which will reduce the overall cost.

After stretching the budget to craft a truly fabulous wedding day, it could all have been in vain if one chooses to start a bar tab. Instead, pay-as-you-go to avoid a bad start to the honeymoon.

No matter how many lists or hints received by guests, it is inevitable that a handful of, to put it nicely, non-favourable gifts will be received. By utilising handy sites like eBay and Gumtree, shifting these will help save for a dreamy honeymoon.

Is your partner about to propose?

If you’re starting to wonder if he’s ever going to put a ring on it, here at the subtle signs to look out for…

Usually when you bring up the subject of marriage and the future, he either changes the subject or his eyes glaze over. But not this time! In fact, nowadays he actually turns off the PlayStation to talk in more depth about it all.

He’s suddenly got all enthusiastic about saving money, when he’s never really taken an interest in budgets and spreadsheets.

Your favourite rings seem to have gone missing for a few days, but then mysteriously reappear in the same place. Suspicious? We think so.

All of a sudden he’s come best friends with your dad – golf weekends and pints at the local become a regular occurrence.

Does your partner seem shifty, nervous and anxious lately? Time to get a manicure, ladies. He’s starting to get nervous about dropping down to one knee.

He becomes interested in your jewellery collection and asks about your favourite ring. It’s starting to get pretty obvious now…

Your Mum / best friends / family get super excited every time you call, only to be disappointed when you’re calling for a chit-chat.

So there you have it, so look out for these clues and one day soon you probably will get a proposal – good luck!!!

The best day of your life…

It’s all about you

Your wedding day is a literally a day where you and your partner can embrace each other. Everything on the day is for the both of you; everyone is there to celebrate your love and marriage. Most importantly, it is a day to celebrate the start of your lives together!

The dress

Choosing your Wedding dress is possibly the best part of the wedding planning. It’s what every girl dreams of! It’s one time you can buy a really expensive dress without having to justify the price tag.

Wonderful company

One of the best things about the wedding is being able to spend a whole day with your closest friends and family. It’s all about love, laughter and celebration!

Pamper time

Although the morning of wedding is pretty stressful, it’s also a chance to be pampered by professionals whilst drinking champagne with your best girls. You can get your hair and makeup done professionally while you sit back, relax and think about married life!

Hen do

You may find it hard to get all of your best friends together at the same time to catch up and have a party. However, your hen doo is the perfect time for this! And what better reason to meetup to celebrate the fact you’re transitioning to married life. There are many ways to have a hen do, rather than going all out with sashes and tiaras, you could have a more formal affair where you dress up and have a sophisticated cocktail party.

Romantic honeymoon

Whether you decide to go to a hot country, go travelling or simply rent a quiet cottage in the countryside, a romantic getaway directly after your wedding is the perfect way to start married life. It gives you both a chance to let your hair down after months of planning the perfect wedding and look back on your memories.

Dream wedding

Everyone has an idea in their head as to what they want their wedding to be like, whether it’s princess Wedding, boho-inspired big day or a Disney themed affair, we’ve all been dreaming about the idyllic wedding since we were children. Now you’re a bride, you finally get to plan every single aspect of it, even from choosing what kind of cutlery you want! Although wedding planning is stressful, it’ll be completely worth it.

Love of your life

You know what the best bit of being a bride is? You get to marry the love of your life: your soulmate, your bestfriend and your love. If that’s not the best thing in the world, we don’t know what is?

Booking a photo booth

Your guests will love it. A photo booth from one of our many wedding suppliers will be the highlight of the night and everybody will be really pleased with the photographs.

Suitable for all ages

It will be great to have something the children and grandparents could join in with.

Nostalgia

Back in the good old days we never had cameras on our phones! To grab an instant picture of you and all your friends you had to walk into town and squeeze into a photo booth. Now the booths may look more stylish but the concept is the same. And, of course, there are some fun props to make it even more memorable.

Talking point

Want your wedding to have something a little bit different? Well a photo booth will have your guests raving for weeks afterwards.

Fabulous favours

Why give a traditional box of almonds when you could have a fun photo from the day that guests can look back on for years to come? One nice idea is to give them an empty key ring with a note to go to the photo booth later!

Theme it!

Are you having a theme on your big day? Whether you want a winter wonderland, day at the beach or even just a colour we can bring the props to match your theme. They can even customise your prints to match and – if the budget stretches – they can even customise the booth itself!

Share the love

Not only will your guests receive a copy of the fun photographs on the night, they will also upload all your ‘clean’ pictures to your very own Facebook album! This helps carry on the fun for weeks after the big day as friends and family tag, comment and copy their pictures.

Ceremony music tips

There are literally millions of pieces of modern wedding music that don’t have any religious association. When wedding planning, most people choose classical music for your ceremony and have lighter pop music during your drinks reception.

Consider choosing two contrasting pieces of music that are moderate length. The first should be contemplative while the guests enter and the second could hint at the celebrations to follow the ceremony.

You are not permitted to have any music during a Civil Ceremony that is overtly religious. Though rules are somewhat more relaxed than in the past, your Registrar will advise and vet your choices.

Choose something celebratory, when your guests leave, that can be heard alongside the happy throng.

If you have the budget, then live wedding music will feel much more personal and special. Harps, string quartets and pianists are the most popular choices. They can also stay at your reception afterwards during your wedding photographs, drinks and canapés.

If you find a title you like on a modern wedding music CD or a website, then make sure you check the title and composer with another couple of similar sources to make sure it is correct.

Modern wedding music for your ceremony

  • Bridal March from ‘Lohengrin’ (Here comes the Bride) – Wagner

  • Canon in D – Pachelbel

  • Trumpet Voluntary – Jeremiah Clarke

  • Arrival of the Queen of Sheba – G F Handel

  • Ave Maria – J S Bach/C Gounod

  • Adagio – Albinoni arr. Giazotto

  • Panis Angelicus – C Franck

  • Wedding March – ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream’ – Mendelssohn

  • Toccata from Organ Symphony no 5- C M Widor

  • Alla Danza / Hornpipe from ‘Water Music’ – G F Handel

Planning an outdoor wedding

Outdoor weddings give you so many more options when it comes to location and usually provides beautiful scenery. On the other hand, there are so many more potential problems and obstacles that can arise by having an outdoor wedding. This is mainly due to the fact that you never know for sure what on earth the weather is going to do. So here are some tips for planning a wedding outside.

Location

First you need to decide which location you want to have the wedding at. Have you had your heart set on a beachfront wedding at sunset ever since you were a little girl dreaming about your wedding? Or maybe you prefer a more rustic, woodsy setting. The options are endless: at the park where you shared your first kiss, in your back garden, or at the cinema, the list goes on and on!

Once you choose your location, go through the proper procedures. Be sure no one has booked the area for another wedding or event. If the site is public property, get a permit to hold your wedding. Most parks and public beaches require a permit. Also, check with the council on what the rules and regulations are on rubbish removal, and if you can have candles, etc.

Prepare for the Weather

Once you have chosen a location, you will need to set a date. While setting the date, keep in mind of what the weather is like there during that time of year. The UK is a little unpredictable we know, but although it may be raining in the summer it’s usually a nice temperature.

Prepare accordingly for the potential weather and have a backup location in case the rain tries to spoil your day. One item that can really save the day is a marquee. A marquee can save you from light rain and can help shade your guests on a hot, sunny day. A marquee isn’t the cure all for all rain though; if it is a downpour, the ground under the marquee will get soggy and muddy. You’ll still want to have a backup, indoor location just in case. Another weather factor you need to take into consideration is the wind. When choosing hair and makeup styles, relate to your hairdresser that you’re going to have an outdoor wedding. The stylist will be sure to give you a fantastic look that won’t be blowing away in the wind.

Accommodating Your Guests

Be sure to take care of your guests. If it’s going to be a hot day, have fans and bottled water available to your guests. Be mindful of your guests when you’re setting up the seating, etc. Make sure they’re not blinded by the sun the entire ceremony. It’s also nice to give them some notice in the invitation what to expect. For example, suggest they wear comfortable shoes for sand or soft ground or to bring sunscreen or a sun hat for a bright day.

Keep your guests in mind on a few other notes as well. With an outdoor ceremony, you’ll discover a lot of extra noise all around, whether it be the waves coming ashore or the wind blowing through the trees. Work with your band or DJ to get a wireless microphone or some

Don’t Forget!

Here are some things you may or may not think about while you’re planning, but are important to help your day go as smoothly as possible. Have ample seating for your guests both at the ceremony and reception. There are a lot of table and chair rental companies out there, and most of them also offer linens, chair covers and marquees. Linens and chair decor are great ways to boost the overall look. If you’re holding the reception outdoors as well, you’ll more than likely need to rent a dance floor.

An outdoor wedding is a beautiful way to have your special day. Keep in mind these suggestions when planning your wedding day. Also, take tips and advice from any of your vendors (photographer, musicians, etc.) who have worked outdoor events. They have the experience and know about situations that can arise.

Think about your budget

Around 20% of couples have blown the wedding day budget, a new survey has revealed…

With the majority of couples overspending by between £2,000 and £5,000, some try to make amends – 7% of married Brits sold their wedding outfits after the big day to save money, and a third of those who didn’t, would consider it.

And it’s not just the couples who are overspending when it comes to the wedding – it’s the guests, too! A massive three-quarters of the Brits surveyed would buy a new outfit if they were going to a wedding, and then there’s the gift

Around three quarters think it’s compulsory to buy a gift if you are invited to a wedding, with half of Brits stating that between £26-£50 was an acceptable amount to spend on a wedding present. More than half of Londoners feel their gifts ought to be repaid with a free bar, compared to the 14% in the North East.

Whether it’s because they can’t afford the travel, the accommodation, the new dress and jacket combo they’ve had their eye on, a wedding gift, or paying for their own drinks, guests are being hit by wedding costs too. It’s no wonder that around a quarter would decline a wedding invitation because they couldn’t afford to go.

What she wants to hear on her special day

You popped the question, the date is now set, the venue booked, invitations are being printed, the stag weekend is in hand. Just that minor matter of a groom’s speech still to write…

You’re not at all anxious, but why is your fiancé? Here are some top tips on how to keep her happy on the big day…

Big up the bride

Although it’s good practise to mention the best man and your ushers, and make a bit of fun at them at their expense, always remember that your wedding day is about your bond with your bride, not your best mates.

Thank your new in-laws

If your bride chooses not to speak at the wedding, she probably won’t get the chance to thank her parents publicly for all they’ve done in helping to organise the big day, and indeed for all the help, love and support provided over the years. So it’s down to you to do it for her – and she’ll love you for it.

She’s your wife – don’t be shy mentioning it!

Nothing gets more of heart-warming cheer than the line “my wife and I…”. I agree it’s predictable and a little bit cheesy, but the novelty of hearing it for the first time never fails to make a new bride smile, or indeed every one of your guests.

Keep it original

Using the occasional predictable phrase, as above, is fine, but don’t get too reliant on these one-liners, or your speech could easily sound like an internet cut and paste job. Your new bride wants you to talk about her, so be creative and keep it personal.

Mention her looks

Dazzling, stunning, beautiful – however you wish to say it, make sure you comment on her appearance, and in a positive way. The expensive dress, designer jewellery, trips to the hairdressers, manicures and facials count for something!

Remember this is a celebration of love

It isn’t your chance to deliver a 10-minute comedy stand-up routine. So try to combine your witty one-liners with a good dose of sincerity. Why did you ask her to marry you? What is it about her that you adore? How has your life changed (for the better!) since you met her? Which of your bad habits does she have to live with?

Delete all stories of ex-girlfriends

However, ‘understand’ your new wife is about your future and not the past, there’s a time and a place for mentioning the exes, and the groom’s speech isn’t one of them.

Direct your speech to her

Although you’re giving a speech to, what is often, a large number of people, you don’t always have to talk to the room. It can be far more meaningful and personal if, when you’re talking about your wife, you actually speak to and make eye contact with her. But remember to keep projecting your voice. Your wife will want the guests to hear what you have to say about her, even if you’re not addressing them.

Remember your loved ones

Of course you plan your wedding will be the happiest day of your life, with the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with, surrounded by the people you love the most. But during this special day you’re allowed to feel a little bit sad, as you remember your nearest and dearest who can’t share the celebrations with you.

Dedicate a reading

Why not have a close family member dedicate a special reading to lost loved ones? 

If Roses Grow in Heaven

If Roses grow in Heaven,
Lord please pick a bunch for me,
Place them in my Mother’s arms
And tell her they’re from me.
Tell her I love her and miss her,
And when she turns to smile,
Place a kiss upon her cheek
And hold her for a while.
Because remembering her is easy,
I do it every day,
But there’s an ache within my heart
Because I am missing her today.

This poem is good for anyone else who you want to remember on your big day…

Someone is missing

Let this candle be a loving reminder
that someone is missing today,
Someone our hearts still hold on to,
As we travel along life’s way.
Someone who made life so special,
for all those who gather here,
Someone who won’t be forgotten,
But cherished from year to year.
And now as we pause to remember,
Let us all fondly recall,
how dearly each of us loved him,
and oh… how he loved us all!

How to save, and what to splurge on

Your wedding day should reflect your style, your personality and of course be the best it can possibly be for your budget. 

Your date

Choose a week day or an off-season date and you might find that everything is that bit cheaper, and that suppliers are more open to offers. We’re not suggesting that you barter, but it might be worth simply asking your preferred suppliers if they offer a reduced rate on your chosen date. You never know! It’s fair to say that Fridays have joined Saturdays as premium spots, given that couples and guests like to make a long weekend of their celebrations, but you’ll definitely find much better availability and probably better prices for an early-week, early-year celebration.

Your venue

The best wedding venues will offer flexible packages, with price ranges to reflect what they can offer. To secure your venue on an exclusive use basis will always attract the highest prices, but what about if you were more flexible in your approach? For example, if you chose to have your wedding reception at your favourite restaurant (which will keep costs down in itself), would you be willing to share the space with normal paying customers? Or perhaps you might consider holding your reception somewhere that is open as usual during the day? If the venue can take bookings as normal, it’s going to keep costs down. That said, if you do choose to get married and have your reception in the same place, guests won’t need to be transported, you might be able to stay there too keeping accommodation prices down… it’s all in the planning, which includes negotiation with your venue.

Your guest list

We all know that the big cost of any wedding is in feeding your guests. Your venue will talk about a ‘per head’ cost. There is absolutely no shame in making it clear to everyone from the start (including your parents and anyone else who thinks that they are going to be allocated invitations to give out!) that you are having a small do. Far better to feed fewer guests with an amazing meal that they will remember than lots of guests with food chosen purely because it was the cheapest option. The general rule is that if both of you haven’t met someone, they shouldn’t be on the list, but actually by eliminating big groups like ‘colleagues’ and ‘cousins’ and standing firm on your decision, this will make a huge difference. Manage expectations from the start. Tell everyone at work that you’re really sorry but, much as you would love to invite everyone, you’re on a really tight budget (and you hope they understand?). Enlist the help of a friendly relative to spread the word that the wedding is small and intimate, but the family is big so not to expect – or demand – an invitation.

Your dress

It’s never recommended that you save on your dress! Buying your wedding dress online, or from an imitation dress site, or from anyone that tells you that they can copy a designer dress for a fraction of the price is tantamount to disaster! There have been oh-so many stories of devastated brides who took a risk and it didn’t pay off. Your wedding dress is an investment, something that you will look back on for the rest of your life. You need to get it right, and the only way you can do that is by buying from a bona fide bridal boutique. Good boutiques will work with you and your budget to make sure that you are happy and comfortable with your choice, and show you that you don’t have to re-mortgage to get the dress of your dreams.

 

Your bridesmaids

Do you even need bridesmaids?! Well, yes, of course you do, and it makes sense that you want them to look right, happy and comfortable, too. Bridesmaid dresses are best bought from proper bridal shops too, and there are many options available, but once again, it’s not worth breaking the bank over. Again, it’s about managing your girls’ expectations. If they don’t understand that you are on budget, are they the right person to be your bridesmaid at all? Also, don’t get carried away and have your 15 closest friends… Instead, you should stick to the few that have always been there for you, through the good times and the bad. They are also supposed to offer practical help and support, so think it through carefully!

Your flowers

It’s another thing that you need to fork out for, so get a professional who can interpret your style and work with your budget. That said, there are clever ways with flowers… They can be moved, for example – church flowers can appear again in the evening; bridesmaid bouquets can form table centres – the possibilities are endless. You could even enlist the help of the church flower team, or speak to the venue about sharing the costs, maybe with another event or wedding. There are some incredible silk flower options around – it might be that your out-of-season peonies are better value in silk, for example. Talking of peonies, did you know that they are on average five times more expensive than roses? You should always buy flowers that are in season.

Your photographer

Saving money by hiring someone cheap, or by relying on friends who take good photos will not work. We’re sorry, but you simply can’t take a risk, or rely on, anyone else other than a professional photographer who has a wealth of wedding experience. Taking quality photographs of you on your big day is not the same as taking Facebook-worthy selfies.

Your reception

Of course your best budget bet would be to choose a venue that doesn’t need much decoration, or that already has a huge stock of items you can make use of to decorate. Or you might have some friends who are really good at making things, all of which would keep your costs low. Once you have decided on your theme, you can start to stock up – each shopping trip could include candles, or confetti, or fairy lights. Start a wedding cupboard, and you will be surprised how quickly it builds up! The sales are always good, too, even if your wedding seems like a long way away. And of course you might find that if you get married in December, for example, your venue will be decorated well anyway.