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Survival tips for anxious bride

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Weddings are a pretty big deal and they can be kind of scary if you’re feeling anxious about being a bride. Are you stressing about being the centre of attention? Dreading speaking to vendors? Avoiding all the nosy questions? Don’t worry, we’ve found a way to cope with the stress of it all…

It’s ok to not be ok

Getting engaged is pretty amazing, but once the initial excitement is over, it’s not uncommon for brides to feel overwhelmed. There’s a huge amount of pressure for everything to look perfect and to get everything ‘right’. And then you get the added anxiety as you know you should feel happy about planning the most important day of your life, but in fact, when you think about it your heart drops. Is that normal? Of course it is. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad bride or you’re getting cold feet – it’s a pretty stressful time so be kind to yourself.

Long engagements

As soon as you get engaged, people tend to start asking you the date of the wedding almost immediately. Don’t feel pressured to immerse yourself in wedding planning straightaway if you don’t want to – give yourself plenty of time, there is no rule about how long an engagement should be. Discuss with your partner about how long you need to plan the wedding and whether or not you want to tie the knot ASAP. Don’t put yourself under extra stress if you don’t need to.

Accept help

If your friends and family offer a helping hand, accept it! Not only will they enjoy being part of the planning process, it’ll make your job a whole lot easier. If no-one is offering, ask for help! People often don’t want to offer help as they’re worried about getting in the way, but they’re usually more than willing to help out if needed.

Apologise for bridezilla moments

You will probably become a little bit of a bridezilla in the lead-up to your wedding day. Whilst this is completely acceptable, your groom-to-be may not agree. In fact, chances are your groom is going to get the wrong idea and think you’re terrified of marrying him. Make it clear to your husband to be that you’re freaking out about the catering or flowers – not about getting married.

Being in the spotlight is scary

If you’re a pretty anxious person anyway, being in the spotlight probably isn’t your idea of fun. However, it is a vital part of any wedding. Even if you’re dreading being the centre of attention in the lead-up to the big day, when it comes to it you might actually surprise yourself! You’re in the limelight for all the right things, so simply make the most of it. If you really can’t face walking down the aisle on your own with all eyes on you, why not break tradition and get your hubby to walk down the aisle with you?

It’s fine to be selfish

It’s probably the one time when it’s socially acceptable to be incredibly selfish – especially the week before the wedding. It’s completely ok to say no, ignore the constantly ringing phone, or conveniently ‘forget’ to reply to that text. Don’t even feel bad about it. Direct it to a helper, such as your maid of honour or your mum. They’re here to help out!

You’re going to be great

When the big day arrives, you’ll probably be a bag of nerves mixed with excitement. But as soon as you walk down the aisle into your hubby’s arm, everything will fit into place and you’ll forget about everyone else in the room. Your wedding day will whizz by, so make the most of it and enjoy every second.

If you really are getting cold feet, make sure you’re marrying your best friend!

Be careful not to kill the mood

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When you begin that walk down the aisle towards your fiancé the atmosphere is going to be electric. So make sure the music you choose is not going to kill the mood.

Will you be classical or a little bit rock’n’roll?

So what sort of music do you think you’ll walk too?

We suggest that you don’t choose anything too cutting edge. That doesn’t mean to say you can’t show off your taste in music but if you choose that week’s number one hit, you might regret it in years to come. Just as you might regret wearing a wedding dress that’s heavily styled for the moment. Go a little classic and you’ll never be out of style.

There are also some things you’ll need to bear in mind when making your music choices.

You need to consider just how long it’s going to take you to walk down the aisle. It usually takes about one to two minutes for most brides to walk the aisle. So choose a piece that doesn’t have a long intro or is instantly recognisable. If you’re planning a religious ceremony, some churches won’t allow you to play non-classical music or your own music. So you need to check your choices with the vicar.

Next, you should be thinking about how your music is going to be played. If it’s in a religious building, keep it classic and have it played on the organ. Alternatively, you could organise your own musicians to full the hall with romance.

Four pieces of music to play when you walk down the aisle;

The wedding processional from the Sound of Music.

Not a religious piece so you can use it in a civil ceremony. It’s majestic, grand and dramatic all at the same time. You’ll feel like a princess when you walk down the aisle to this.

Clair de Lune by Debussy.

This is a gorgeous tune to have played on the piano. It’s quiet, atmospheric and very romantic. Also not religious, so you could have it played while your guests are being seated.

For The Love of a Princess from Braveheart.

An atmospheric folk tune that’s emotional and sentimental in the right ways. Bound to bring tears to the eyes as your guests watch you start your walk.

The Bridal Chorus by Wagner.

Well this is the most traditional of traditional music to walk up the aisle to. Everybody will know you’ve arrived when this starts to play!

Four songs to play as you’re leaving;

Now what about after you’ve said your vows? When you’ve signed the register and you’re legally man and wife and starting the first steps on your new life together?

Here you can change the tempo a little bit, and have something that’s celebratory and uplifting.

Signed, Sealed, Delivered I’m Yours by Stevie Wonder.

 

This says it all really. You’ve said your vows and you’re on your way. A timeless piece that’s joyful, catchy and instantly recognisable.

Mairi’s Wedding by by John Roderick Bannerman.

If you’re getting married in Scotland or one or both of you are Scottish, then this is foot-tapping folk piece will surely get your guests in the mood for dancing at your reception.

Only You by The Platters.

A slow, dreamy melody that will probably take some of the older generation back to their ‘courting’ days and make them feel misty eyed.

Jesu Joy of Man’s Desiring from Bach.

A traditional masterpiece for you to walk along to starry-eyed as a Mrs, whilst beaming at your friends and family as you take your first steps as newlyweds.

Get your Groom involved

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Society has lead us to believe that a groom’s only involvement in a wedding is to have a raucous stag party, show up to the wedding, and enjoy a tropical passion-filled honeymoon.

As we move away from old and antiquated ideals, men are becoming more involved in their wedding day, and the responsibility of planning a wedding no longer needs to fall solely on the shoulders of the beautiful bride.

The modern groom has taken on more and more responsibilities in preparation for the big day, however this doesn’t mean that you need to include him in every single aspect or detail. It is important that you find ways for your groom to be involved so you can work together for your dream wedding.

Don’t include him in everything

We know there are a lot of details and decisions to be made on your big day, however many of them are far more important to you as a bride. While a groom might be excited about attending a cake tasting, he probably won’t be as thrilled about picking out table linens or dress designs. This doesn’t mean all grooms will be checked out when it comes to the details, but if you have a reluctant groom, don’t overwhelm him.

Tell him about any issues you’re facing

Most men have a desire to fix things; sometimes they even fix things that don’t need to be fixed – as you probably well know. However, if you are facing any issues, it is best to run it by your partner as you might be surprised by how engaged he becomes when he is asked about his opinion regarding any issues you’re having!

Respect that you care about different aspect of your big day

Don’t feel discouraged if your hubby-to-be isn’t as vested in everything that you think needs his full attention. It’s best to present a list of what needs to be done rather than let him choose what he is interested in. This doesn’t mean let him off the hook when it comes to being involved in the wedding planning process, just don’t let yourself get frustrated if he isn’t chomping at the bit to go pick out flower arrangements.

Embrace his creative side

If you have a husband who is handy, artistic, or loves music, finding a way to involve him could be easier than you think. Incorporating what he is passionate about into your wedding will be a great way to assure that you have an engaged groom. Let him book the band or DJ. If you’re groom is a tool smith, let him build something that can be incorporated into the ceremony, as it might even save you some money as well.

Make sure his input is valued

The most important step in this whole process is making sure that your groom feels as if his opinion is valued. If you ask him for his opinion and continually shoot it down, he will more than likely lose interest in playing a role in the planning process. Make sure to encourage his ideas and find ways that they can be included in your wedding day.

If you have a reluctant groom, try following these steps and encourage him to be more engaged! It will make your big day even more special knowing that you’ve worked together to make your dream wedding.

Sless and still look fabulous

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Mix and match

Hair accessories can be a big outlay for something that you will only wear once. Instead of one expensive tiara, why not opt for a lower cost small bridal comb and a few pins or clusters of grips? These can be arranged in groups to create a high-impact look for less. Mix and match the styles to create an elaborate big day finish.

Make an investment

Why not spend your wedding accessories budget on a few key pieces of bridal jewellery that you will wear again and again long after your wedding day? Even a statement and more expensive piece of bridal jewellery will effectively cost less if you wear it lots of times!

Perfect presents

It is wonderful to include family members and friends in your wedding planning so why not ask them if they would treat you to your bridal jewellery for your next birthday or Christmas present? People are often stuck for gift ideas and love to be part of your wedding preparations.

Double up!

Make your bridesmaids’ accessories their thank you gifts. Simply tell them you have their jewellery sorted and give them a wonderful surprise on the big day. It also ensures that your girls will be wearing wedding accessories which fit in with your wedding theme.

Borrow

If you loved your Auntie’s or best friend’s wedding dress, then why not ask if you wouldn’t mind borrowing it? 

Wedding dresses can always look different if the veils are changed and the wedding bouquet is a different colour. We are sure that the person you borrowed it from would feel very happy that the dress has been put to good use and will bring back some good memories of their special day.

We are sure you can think of many more money saving ideas for your big day – just remember less is more…

10 tips to help you serve great wedding food ideas on a budget!

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Too many cooks?

Although you are catering for the whole wedding party, when choosing your menu, don’t offer too many options. Offering a multitude of choices for the wedding breakfast doesn’t enhance your guests’ experience, or make anything taste better. More choice only means more expense.

Cooking on gas

Some of the most beautiful wedding venues are outdoors – be it a marquee or a hog roast festival – but these celebrations do not have on-site kitchens or furniture. You will be required to pay extra to supply these facilities, so make sure you include this in your budget.

Smooth operator

The key to a successful wedding reception is timing and service. Making people wait for food and drinks is not a great idea. Pay for extra serving staff to ensure a smoothly-run reception and you will notice the investment – and your guests will love you for it!

Trade your toasting tipple

Champagne is everyone’s top tipple for wedding parties, but it can be a little on the expensive side. However, there are some great sparkling wines available, which are just as good but cost less. To impress your guests on half the budget, add a little elderflower cordial and a hibiscus flower to Cava, to create the perfect festive fizzy cocktail. Not only does this add a light, sweet, floral taste to the drink, it makes the Cava go that little bit further – good news all round!

Bacon buffet

If you plan to party in the early hours of the morning, don’t serve an evening buffet – you are essentially paying for two full meals that many people won’t even touch. Why not serve bacon sandwiches or posh kebabs a la Lily Allen? This will give the illusion of an evening meal and your guests will be thankful for the traditionally British fuel injection before the trip home.

A cheesy ending?

Cheese cakes are a great alternative to traditional tiers. You can ask your caterers to cut and serve the savoury slices with fruit and biscuits as the dessert after your meal. Alternatively, cupcakes are a cheaper option than a tiered cake and work well as both a dessert and a favour.

Raise the bar

The drinks reception tab can easily set couples back a few thousand pounds, so limiting what is served can be a great way to reduce costs. Ask your bar to carry beer and wine, or alternatively, have a cash-only bar that your guests will have to pay for. If you have provided them with a lovely meal accompanied with great entertainment, guests won’t mind forking out for a few drinks towards the end of the evening.

Your wedding journey is tricky business

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Before you jump straight in and ask your closest friends to do the honours, check they don’t fall into one of these dreaded categories…

The drama queen

We all know this girl and she’s definitely not bridesmaid material! Not only does she love herself way too much but she constantly needs to shine in the spotlight. If you think she’ll change for your wedding, think again.

The worst part is that she’s almost certainly expecting to be asked, so make sure you find a different way of keeping her busy on the day.

The unhappy singleton

While most of your friends will be happy for you, it won’t be surprising if one of your single friends isn’t ecstatic at the news. Weddings can be depressing for people who aren’t loved up, so steer clear of asking the jealous, single friend to be your bridesmaid.

Not only will it make her more upset about her own situation, but she’ll probably cause unnecessary drama for everyone with her bitter attitude. Your bridesmaids need to be happy for you and excited to be part of your day, not a burden on the whole party.

The party animal

She might be one of your closest mates and have amazing planning skills but it’s really important to consider what your party animal friend be like on the big day, too. If she can’t hold her drink, loves dancing on table tops and will inevitably tell everyone your secrets and embarrassing stories, then she’s probably not the best girl for the job.

If you still want her to be part of the wedding, tell her your concerns. Her reaction will give you a good indication as to whether she deserves to be your bridesmaid!

The obsessive organiser

Unless you’re completely clueless about planning your wedding, don’t ask your obsessive friend to take the bridesmaid seat! She’s sure to take all control and will ultimately create her ideal wedding, not yours.

Not everyone’s 100% clear on what they want when they start planning but you should never let someone talk you into something you’re not entirely sure about.

The joker

While she’s great on a night out, she probably isn’t going to make the best bridesmaid. Not only will her jokes get old, but she probably won’t be putting in the effort to help you with your plans.

There’s definitely nothing worse than someone who won’t take you seriously!

Wedding Day Traditions explained

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There are lots of weird and wonderful wedding day traditions – your own wedding day might include a few ancient superstitions to avoid bringing ‘bad luck’ without you even realising! Here are a couple you might not know about…

Rain on your wedding day is thought to be unlucky – not only for the soggy guests, but the rest of the marriage too! However, it is considered good luck for a bride to meet a spider, chimney sweep or black cat on her way to the wedding ceremony.

One of the most familiar superstitions is that it’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding ceremony. This one isn’t such a romantic tradition – it originated in a time when arranged marriages were common, and seeing each other was more likely to result in one or both parties doing a runner!

Have you ever wondered why the groom carries his new bride over the threshold? In medieval Europe, it was believed that evil spirits might make their way into the house through the soles of the bride’s feet!

Much of the bride’s outfit has been based upon superstitions, including a white wedding dress to signify virginity and purity. Some think that a sugar cube in your glove will sweeten your union, whilst almost every bride knows the traditional poem, ‘Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue’.

Wearing ‘something old’ is meant to represent the life that the bride is leaving behind, while the ‘something new’ represents her new life as a married woman. The ‘something borrowed’ should come from someone who has had a long and happy marriage, and blue is meant to symbolise purity, fidelity and love.

The final part of the poem is ‘and a silver sixpence in her shoe’. Traditionally the bride’s father would slip a sixpence coin into his daughter’s left shoe on the way to the altar, to bring luck and wish the happy couple a long and prosperous life together. Today, you can buy special wedding sixpences to recreate this tradition.

For many years it was also tradition for the bride and groom to give each other gold and silver coins after exchanging rings, and this act is recorded in the first book of common prayer published in 1549. Gold Sovereign coins and silver Britannia coins are a perfect way to observe that tradition today.

Used to symbolise prosperity, love and unity, coins have a long-standing history within many wedding traditions across the world.

In Wales, silver coins are inserted into the popped champagne or wine corks and given to the bride and groom as a lasting memento of their day of celebration.

In Sweden, the bride’s mother gives her a gold coin to put in her right shoe and the bride’s father gives her a silver coin to put in her left shoe to represent their wish that she will never be without.

In Spain and Latin America, a coin is given by the groom to his bride after the blessing of the rings. It symbolises his willingness to share all that he has or will have. The coin is kept as a family keepsake and passed down from mother to her eldest son on his wedding day.

In Poland, coins are tossed over the newlyweds instead of confetti as they leave the ceremony. The couple is required to pick up all of the coins together as a sign of their new unity.

The importance of a good videographer and photographer

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One of the most important questions you’ll ask yourself when picking your wedding suppliers is ‘how much does it cost?’ and ‘can I get it cheaper elsewhere?’. Like most budget-savvy brides you’ll be keen to know that you’re getting the best price. But when it comes to wedding videography, cheap and cheerful can be risky.

A wedding is a live event and we don’t get any re-shoots like in the movies. This is where the skills of a good videographer come in handy. It is possible to unobtrusively film someone’s wedding, and create a film that is great to watch over and over again.

A good editor will be able to craft your story into an entertaining and watchable film that you can proudly share with friends and family. So many couples have their wedding filmed, and it ends up gathering dust on the top shelf. You really want to spend your money on something that you’re going to watch for years to come.

At the other end of the spectrum in wedding videography, you have the ‘film your own wedding video’ companies, an idea which originated from Shoot It Yourself in 2009. While this is certainly cheaper than hiring someone to film your wedding for you, as you don’t have to pay for a videographer to be there on the day, it is still a professional editing service and you get what you pay for.

Some people don’t really understand the concept; that whilst there is actually nobody present at the wedding, the company prep, maintain and deliver the cameras and go through all six hours of footage to find the best clips. It’s the same amount of time, energy, attention to detail and skill goes into editing a ‘self-shot’ wedding video as it does a professional wedding video.

On the other hand, there are those couples who are looking for something less formal, that captures the big personalities of their family and friends.

There are, of course, hundreds of wedding videographers to choose from but with so much time, effort and money spent on your wedding day, we would recommend that you choose a reputable company with a proven track record. Remember, there is no such thing as a good cheap wedding video and if a deal seems too good to be true, it almost certainly is!

Your wedding photography and videography are two of the most important things to get right on the big day, as they will capture precious memories that you cannot repeat again.

Garden party ideas

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One of the biggest wedding theme trends last year was ‘garden party’, but this year’s brides are set to combine this elegant theme with rustic country details. With these top tips, you can make this ever-evolving theme personal to you.

Outdoor wedding venue

To hold an authentic country garden wedding theme you usually need one of three types of venue – a country barn with fairy lights wrapped around the beams, a marquee reception with hay bales for seating, or a quintessentially English manor house with beautiful gardens filled with blooms where you could set up garden games for your guests to enjoy.

This year’s brides will also be giving their country garden theme a festival edge with large tipis and marquees, camping areas for their guests and live music.

Pastel perfection

From the details through to the bridesmaid dresses floral prints and pastel shades are best suited to a country garden theme.

The best floral prints for this theme are pansies, daisies and roses. Think pink, lavender, turquoise and lemon for perfectly pretty girls. Keep shoes nude and hair accessories minimal – flower headbands, perhaps?

The little details

It’s the little details your guests will notice, so consider some of these country inspired ideas… Handpicked flowers for the bouquets and centrepieces, raffia-tied jam jar favours filled with mini eggs and handmade bunting with Cath Kidston-style material spread all around the venue.

Searching for cheap and cheerful favour ideas? How about attaching a place card to a shiny green apple, or laying a sprig of lavender on your napkins?

Boho bride

For a country look, consider a short or tea-length wedding dress, and for a bit of fun, add a coloured underskirt with matching shoes! Put real flowers in your hair and accessorise with pearls – the chunkier the pearls, the more modern the look.

Make sure you have some wedding wellies on hand for your outdoor reception, as well as some white umbrellas should you need to shelter guests at any point.

Country stationery

Textured stationary with a DIY feel will work really well with this theme. Raffia, cotton or button embellishments are great.

Tea and cake

What’s a country garden party without high tea? Instead of a traditional dessert, put a tiered cake stand on each table filled with scones, muffins and cupcake so guests can help themselves, with a pot of tea and coffee on hand to wash it down. Why not stir up a little competitive spirit among your guests and have a Great Wedding Bake-Off?

Set up a table in the marquee and ask guests to bring their homemade goodies. The bride and groom can then present first, second and third prize before cutting their own wedding cake.

Arrive in style

Instead of a traditional vintage car, consider something a little more authentic, like a tractor! Just make sure you give it a good clean beforehand or you could end up with a muddy dress!

Country garden brides may want to take advantage of the (hopefully) good summer weather and walk to their ceremony – the ultimate eco-friendly way to arrive at your ceremony or reception.

Country entertainment

The obvious answer here is country music, maybe a live folk band for the evening? This type of fun upbeat entertainment will appeal to all ages and will certainly get everyone on their feet.

Hollywood Honeymoons

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If you and your other half are film buffs, or just love the idea of including some Hollywood glamour into your honeymoon, incorporate a stay at a world famous hotel that’s been used as a film location. Here are some ideas to inspire you:

Italy

The Please Garden (Alfred Hitchcock’s first film): Villa D’Este

Alfred Hitchcock spent nearly every summer at the Villa d’Este and was completely enamoured with the beautiful surroundings. He filmed his first movie The Pleasure Garden on the hotel grounds in 1925. The hotel has over 150 rooms, all completely unique from one another with their own style and size. Hitchcock isn’t the only artist to fall in love with Villa d’Este; distinguished fashionistas have all fallen in love with the place including Calvin Klein, Oscar de la Renta, Donna Karan and Paul Smith.

A Room with a View: Degli Orafi, Florence

The famous 1980’s film A Room with a View charts the romance between Miss Lucy Honeychurch; a young Edwardian woman, with a free-spirited young man she meets in Italy. The couple first meet at a hotel in Florence, and modern-day visitors to the Degli Orafi hotel can stay in the exact room they meet, room 414 on the 4th floor. The view in question is from the room’s spectacular terrace which overlooks the Arno and Ponte Vecchio.

The United States of America

Ocean’s 11: The Bellagio Hotel, Las Vegas

The Bellagio is features a few times in Ocean’s 11. Firstly, the Las Vegas Boulevard entrance is seen when Saul arrives at the casino to place some big bets to get Terry Benedict’s attention. Saul walks right through the main entrance underneath the hotel’s distinctive glass flower chandelier. Also, whilst the movie makes it seem as though Basher Tarr is in a remote location when he pulls the trigger to turn out the Vegas Strip lights, the scene is actually filmed from on top of Bellagio’s self-park garage!

The Bodyguard: Fontainebleu Miami Beach

In The Bodyguard the Fontainebleu makes an appearance as the host of the charity benefit where Whitney Houston’s character Rachel sings ‘I Have Nothing’. However, the luxury grounds of the hotel have appeared in more than one Hollywood blockbuster. In the third James Bond film, Goldfinger, the Fontainebleu is where Sean Connery’s 007 checks in before thwarting the movie’s villain during a game of poolside Gin Rummy, and in Al Pacino’s Scarface, the beach hotel is where Montana and Manny Ray relax and eye up ladies.

Pretty Woman: The Beverly Wilshire, California

In the 1990 blockbuster Pretty Woman, the Beverly Wilshire Hotel is where Edward Lewis (played by Richard Gere) puts up his escort Vivian Ward (played by Julia Roberts). Vivian endears herself to the staff of the hotel, resulting in the hotel manager teaching her about place settings, and the hotel is conveniently located next to the designer’s shops in Rodeo Drive. The hotel celebrated the 25th anniversary of the film by offering Pretty Women packages that ranged from $15,000 to $100,000 and included homages to the film including a night in the presidential suite, a personal shopper on Rodeo Drive with $3,000 shopping money, couple’s massages, a diamond pedicure and a romantic dinner on the Veranda Suite Terrace.

Maid in Manhattan: Roosevelt Hotel, New York

Jennifer Lopez plays a hardworking maid at the fictional Beresford Hotel in the 2002 romantic comedy Maid in Manhattan. The exterior of the Beresford was actually the Waldorf-Astoria but the majority of the filming took place within the Roosevelt Hotel. The Roosevelt has also been featured in a number of other Hollywood films including The Taking of Pelham 123, The French Connection and Men in Black 3.