Category Archives: Tradition

Traditional Church Weddings

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What are the legal requirements for a church wedding?

Most marriages require banns to be published before the wedding, signifying your intention to marry. These need to be read out in the parish where each of you lives, as well as the church where you’ll be married for three Sundays during the three months before the wedding.

If there isn’t enough time for this, you can apply for a license costing from £200, which you may also need if one of the couple isn’t British or lives outside England. In Scotland, you need to give 15 days’ notice with the local registrar.

Couples must be 18 to marry without their parents’ consent in England, Wales and Northern Ireland, or 16 with their approval. The ceremony must take place between 8am and 6pm, witnessed by two people.

In Scotland it’s legal to marry from 16 without consent and at any time of day, although you do still require two witnesses.

Can I get married in any church?

For a Wedding ceremony in England and Wales, you can marry in any church if you meet one of several conditions: that either of you has lived or attended services in the parish for at least six months, was baptized or prepared for confirmation there, that one of your parents or grandparents was married in the parish, or one of your parents has lived or attended services there for at least six months after you were born. If you’ve recently moved, you’ll be eligible to marry in your new parish too.

In Scotland, there are no residency requirements so you can marry in any church you choose. In practice, it may depend on availability and the individual minister who’s likely to want to meet couples who aren’t members of the church beforehand.

In Northern Ireland, one of the couple must be resident in the district where you plan to marry for at least 14 days before being eligible, unless you apply for a special licence

Do I have to attend church before I can get married there?

Not for a Church of England ceremony, although if your heart is set on marrying in a church where you have no connections, attending services for six months — even a single service each month — would allow this.

Are the rules different in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland?

Yes — Scotland in particular has different laws than England and Wales, while there are stricter residency requirements in Northern Ireland. Catholic churches also differ, for example, needing a dispensation if one person is not Catholic but not requiring the banns to be read.

How far in advance should I book a UK church ceremony?

Churches can become booked up several months in advance, so ask the vicar or church office as early as possible, especially for popular dates. Many churches won’t arrange weddings during Lent, although this doesn’t apply to Catholic ceremonies.

Can I use my own vows in church?

Not in England and Wales, where legally no part of the wedding vows can be changed. However it’s possible to include poems, readings or songs which have a special significance in the service, depending on the individual vicar. In Scotland, you can vary the traditional forms or write your own with the minister’s approval.

 

Planning a Jewish Wedding

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There are many traditions to uphold, but they are also lots of fun! So don’t worry. From the kidushin to the chuppah, we’ve got you covered. In short, a Jewish wedding is all about love, family, and commitment. They’re a beautiful blend of tradition and romance, and end with a huge party.

The ceremony for a traditional Jewish wedding generally takes place after sundown on Saturdays, or any time on Sundays. The bride and groom are not allowed to eat until after the ceremony is over.

Before the wedding takes place, the ketubah is signed by the groom, in the company of two witnesses. This is a legally binding Jewish contract, and outlines what the groom is expected to give the bride in the marriage. This includes food, clothes, marital relations, friendship, love, and communication, and outlines that all of these things are necessary to a happy union. Many ketubahs are beautiful pieces of art and are framed and hung in the home.

Next, in a tradition known as badeken, the bride’s face is veiled (usually by the groom) and a prayer is said for her. The couple hasn’t seen each other in at least 24 hours (sometimes up to 7 days) at this point, so it’s usually an emotional moment for both the bride and groom.

The ceremony takes place under a chuppah, or wedding canopy, and is officiated by a rabbi. The chuppah symbolizes the new home that the bride and groom will build together. When the ceremony is starting, the groom is led into the chuppah by the two fathers, while the bride is led by the two mothers, in a tradition called unterfirers. Finally, the bride circles the groom seven times when she arrives at the chuppah. This may come from Jeremiah 31:22 which says “A woman shall surround a man.” The number seven is said to mean perfection or completeness in the Bible.

A traditional chuppah where the Jewish bride and groom will take their vows.

A traditional Jewish wedding has two distinct parts, with the first known as the erusin (betrothal) or kiddushin (holiness). First, two blessings are given before the betrothal. The first is over a cup of wine, which the couple then tastes. The second is the betrothal blessing. Next, the groom is required to give something of value to the bride (usually a ring). The ring should be a plain gold band, to symbolize the simplicity and purity of their love. Lastly, they both exchange rings and vows.

Finally comes the part that almost everyone is familiar with…the breaking of the glass. After the rings and blessings, the groom crushes the glass (usually wrapped in cloth) with his right foot and guests shout “Mazel tov!” which means “congratulations.” In some contemporary weddings, a light bulb is used instead since it’s easier to break. This signifies that the ceremony is over and is greeted with loud cheers and applause from the crowd.

In order to complete the ceremony, seclusion is necessary, so yichud is practiced. This means leaving the bride and groom alone for 10-20 minutes in a room. It can take place in any room, from the rabbi’s study to a synagogue classroom. Husband and wife take some time away from family and friends to reflect on their new vows and the ceremony.

 

3 Wedding Traditions

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  1. Why Do People Tie Cans to the Back of the Married Couple’s Car?

This tradition actually started during the Tudor period in England. As the bride and groom left in their carriage, wedding guests would throw their shoes at them because it was considered good luck if you hit the vehicle. Today that would be considered wrong, so we tie them to the car instead. And since walking home from a wedding with only one shoe is no fun, people started using tin cans instead.

  1. Why Is It Bad Luck for the Groom to See His Bride on Their Wedding Day?

This common tradition seems sweet, but its origins aren’t exactly tender. For hundreds of years, fathers arranged their daughter’s marriages by offering money to young men. However, if Daddy’s little girl wasn’t that desirable, Daddy might decide to search for prospective grooms in nearby towns, for obvious reasons. When these men showed up on the wedding day—not having seen their future brides before—it was common for some of them to flee the scene. So the tradition that it’s “bad luck” for a man to see his bride before the ceremony really started out as insurance for her dad.

  1. How Did We Get a “Ring Finger”?

The ring finger is not the same for everyone. In some parts of India, wedding rings are worn on the thumb. In 3rd-century Greece, the ring finger was the index finger. But later, the Greeks believed that the third finger on a person’s hand was connected directly to the heart by a route called “the vein of love.” Today’s Western tradition stems from that.

 

Traditional speeches

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Traditionalists will expect a run of speeches after the wedding food, but don’t let that deter you from changing things up. It’s your day, so you have every right to do it your way. If you won’t enjoy making a speech or one of the traditional speakers wouldn’t, then why let the nerves and stresses ruin the celebrations?

Here are four things you can do if you or a member of your bridal party doesn’t want to give a speech.

LOVE LETTERS

Not a fan of speaking in front of a large audience, put pen to paper before your big day to make sure you write all that was important to you. You can then have the wedding speech printed beautifully and include a copy with each place setting. When the time for speeches come, wedding guests will be asked to read their copy.

Rest assured this won’t be lacking the emotion of a live speech, once the sound of pages turning ceased, the smiles and tears will be free flowing! You could also mix and match this approach with a regular speech by using print outs, flip charts or other visual aids to distract attention from you.

STUNT DOUBLES

If you’ve got a willing friend who is more of a public speaker, why not ask them if they’d mind speaking instead? It could be on your behalf or a speech entirely of their own – whatever you prefer. For traditionalists, this will keep your speeches full even if the conventional people don’t deliver them.

NOT CAMERA SHY?

If it’s more the ‘here and now’ element of giving a wedding speech that worries you, why not pre-record your speech instead? We think the best wedding speeches balance thoughtful stories and anecdotes that you’ve planned ahead with a touch of improvisation on the day to inject the intense emotions you’ll doubtless be feeling.

Don’t worry, though, because we’ve got just the solution to make this happen for pre-recorded speeches too! Once you’ve hooked up the projector and played the speech, simply raise a toast with a few in-the-moment (romantic!) words for your new spouse afterwards. Best of both worlds? We think so!

RAISE A GLASS

For a more relaxed approach, why not ditch one or more speeches altogether and consider an alternative instead? Simply raise a glass of your chosen tipple, toast to the day, to your love, to each other, and you’ll create just as heart-warming an effect as the traditional counterpart would, without any of the stress, formality or fuss. Simple!!!

 

Get you to the church on time

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A traditional wedding car is not the only way to get you to the church on time. So, if you’re ready to swap a classic motor or sports car for transport that makes a statement, start with these six wedding car alternatives, fit for every wedding style and theme.

Big red bus

Perfect for a vintage or London city styled wedding, why not hop onto an iconic big red bus to move from your ceremony to your reception? This will be of the most popular wedding car alternatives with your guests because they can join you for the ride. Keep a Polaroid handy to document the journey together!

Land Rover

If you fancy the idea of a private moment together after the ceremony, then transport for two (plus your driver) will be just the ticket. This old Land Rover is dolled up beautifully for the occasion, ideal for any rustic or barn wedding.

Horse and carriage

Traditional couples might feel safe choosing a vintage car for their drive, but a horse and carriage is much more theatrical! The carriage’s old-fashioned style will suit more traditional church and country house weddings.

Tractor

For those who want to make a big impression at their country wedding, go all-out with a vintage tractor! Just make sure it gets a good clean up first and you’re good to go. Once you’ve reached your destination, see if you can have the tractor park up outside as a great backdrop for wedding photographs. Perhaps the driver could even provide rides for your younger guests to keep them entertained?

Helicopter

If you want to arrive at the aisle in style, no mode of transport could be more glamorous than your own private helicopter! You’re getting married, so you’ll be on cloud nine. Why not let your transport take you up into the clouds too for a truly memorable journey? Choose this for your wedding if you’ve chosen a country house, tipi or marquee – somewhere with room to land!

Boat

There can only be one winning showstopper when it comes to water friendly wedding car alternatives – a boat of course! Whether your arrival involves rowing up to a pretty jetty or you choose to set sail after the ceremony with your new spouse, a boat will give your beach, river or waterfront wedding the wow-factor. It was good enough for George Clooney and Amal Alamuddin after all…

 

A wedding poem

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Sometimes words are not enough and writing something for a bride who had been told she that only had a short time to live, she may want to write a poem for her groom thanking him for sticking by her, and loving her through tough times. Or writing something to be read at the wedding reception, thanking all their friends and family who helped her to put the wedding together so quickly. This of course can be a very precious keepsake.

Anything written by you is touching in their own way. A groom may want to write a poem for his bride about all the things he loved about her – right down to her not being the best singer in the world, but loved to hear her sing as it meant she was happy. You may have been through tough times, but against all the odds, you made it to the altar and are looking forward to the future together.

Little details make the difference, so in each case try to weave your personal memories and feelings into something that you are proud to deliver, either written down, or read aloud.

Poems are incredibly useful when used as best man speeches. Often the best man doesn’t have a lot of public speaking experience and it can be daunting, and so it can be nice to have the rhythm of a poem as something to focus on while they are trying to deliver their speech. Also, for a best man, what they really want to do is be there for their friend in the run up to the wedding, so having a poem to be used as their best man speech frees up their time to really be there for them. Then all they need to do is practice their poem, present on the big day and then sit back and take all the praise for their clever delivery!

Best Man poems can contain all the regular things you would put into a best man speech, so humorous tales from the groom’s younger days, and how he met his bride and what his friends think of her, messages from friends who can’t be there and thanks you’s and so on. They can choose to have their full speech as poem, or just a small part, perhaps to be used as the crowning glory and rounding off their speech.

Poems can be presented as gifts in a number of ways, as the main gift where the sentiment is in the words, or as thank you poems for the bridesmaids to go alongside any other little gifts that you may give them. They may want to simply write it into a card, frame it with a wedding photo, record themselves reading it and then share it, or have it transcribed into calligraphy.

 

History themed wedding

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If you are considering having a historically themed wedding. Here are the three Historical Royal Palaces in and around London that you might wish to consider.

Hampton Court Palace

Hiring Hampton Court Palace offers you a dazzling wedding venue for hire in which to exchange vows, be it in the gardens or in the palace itself. Splendid formal gardens and elegant cobble courtyards are the order of the day around this Tudor marvel and the famous red brick makes for a stunning backdrop for your wedding photos. As for dinner and your reception? Well, you can choose from the Great Hall, the Undercroft and also the Orangery and Privy Garden or maybe even ‘Little Banqueting House’. All of these spaces have to be seen to be believed but we promise you that you will not be disappointed.

Banqueting House

Hiring Banqueting House for your wedding venue is certainly a compelling idea when you consider the awe-inspiring architecture by Inigo Jones and the incredible decoration of the interior; where else can you get married underneath an original Rubens ceiling painting? Specially created for entertaining back in 1622, Banqueting House is one of the most dazzling venues in London, both the Main Hall and Undercroft are fully licensed for weddings and there are some fantastic lighting options available to really make use of the space. With glittering chandeliers and vast windows that face onto Whitehall, you’ll be truly in for a day to never forget.

Kensington Palace

Kensington Palace is still home to British royalty and offers a timeless elegance and charm that delights all who visit. With beautiful gardens of its own, the venue offers an opportunity to get married in a building that has been home to British history for more than 300 years. Kensington Palace’s Orangery is a sight to behold and is licensed for wedding ceremonies as well as being suitable for dinner and dancing. With exceptionally easy access, we also don’t mind saying that the venue is perfect for ensuring that your wedding entertainment all gets in safely as well! Although you might be taken in by the Orangery, we also recommend considering a floral backdrop, with the Sunken Garden being a particularly beautiful and secluded choice for your family and friends to enjoy.

 

Excuse for the brides-to-be

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Here are those times when it’s alright to use that age-old excuse of brides-to-be…

To get out of something

  • Sometimes you might find yourself in a situation you don’t want to be in, whether that’s an uncomfortable conversation with a good friend asking if you fancy going to that book club she’s started or just a plain awkward conversation.

  • So know you have a great excuse to get out of anything, you are planning a wedding!!

To show off your ring whenever you want

  • Talking of wedding chat, showing off the ring is another conversation starter and will inevitably grab the attention of anyone around. That well-practiced hand flick of yours to make your ring dazzle and catch people’s eyes will never go to waste, even if you’ve spread the news of your engagement.

To blag some freebies

  • There are lots of bits and bobs involved with weddings, and people know that perfectly well. Because of this, walking around town talking about how you’re getting married may just get you a few freebies. People will want you to buy from them, and what better way to tempt a bride with the loving kindness of a freebie?

  • And then there’s the wedding gift list! Putting together a list of things you want so that people can buy them for you is the absolute dream. That fancy toaster you’ve been eyeing up every time you visit John Lewis? On the list! That activity on your honeymoon that would send you just a bit over budget? On the list!

  • But don’t think it’s all over for you when the wedding has been and gone. If you’ve got a honeymoon planned – whether it’s straight after the big day or a little bit later – it’s a good idea to let them know it’s your honeymoon that you’re celebrating, you lovebirds may just get some special treatment…

To drink in the morning

  • The morning of the big day: the time when the words ‘I’m getting married’ will probably be said again and again in a matter of minutes. It’s a big day and you’ll be feeling a mixture of nerves and excitement, and that glass or bottle of fizz staring at you from your fridge is the perfect way to calm you down. Even if the clock has only just hit 10am, it’s okay because you’re getting married!

 

Alternative first dance songs

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When planning a wedding, the first dance song is something that is very important to them and has a certain sentiment, either from a particular time it was played – maybe on a first date or due to the lyrics. But for other couples, it’s a way of showing their personality either via the style of song, which would highlight their musical tastes or style of day they have planned, for example they be hoping for a very relaxed affair and go with a more humorous first dance choice.

For those that don’t want to take it too seriously and are brave enough to add a little comedy to proceedings, we’ve provided 5 songs that are certain to raise a few eyebrows and hopefully get everyone in the spirit for lots of fun at the evening reception… You may need to get someone to hijack Granny and Aunt Maud for a few minutes though and possibly give your folks a little warning!

1. AC/DC – ‘Highway to Hell’

Whilst the title suggests getting married is like a ‘Highway to Hell’ actually the lyrics are about having a awesome time and partying with friends… Isn’t that exactly what you want to do??

‘Ain’t nothin’ that I’d rather do, Goin’ down

Party time, My friends are gonna be there too‘

2. Bloodhound Gang – ‘The Bad Touch’

So, this is pretty hardcore and to the point but some people do make a big deal about the whole consummating the marriage on the wedding night thing. You’d have to make sure you have fairly open-minded family and friends for this one maybe!

‘You and me baby ain’t nothin’ but mammals

So let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel’

3. REM – ‘It’s The End Of The World’

This song is great on two levels – when you first listen it can be perceived as  a ‘stereotypical’ groom worrying that his life is over because of the old ‘ball and chain’ but actually on the chorus it ends with ‘and I feel fine’ so it brings it right back round to actually being a really nice sentiment.

‘It’s the end of the world as we know it,It’s the end of the world as we know it,

It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine’

4. Bob the Builder – ‘Can We Fix It’

This song would be great for any couples who may have been through a rough patch and want to show friends and family  that it doesn’t have to be a taboo subject – they acknowledge it and are over it! Or if the groom’s name is Bob… and ever better if he’s a builder and the bride is called Wendy and they have any friends called Travis or Packer or even Farmer Pickles?!

5. Flight Of The Concords – ‘The Most Beautiful Girl In The World’

Try listening to this song and not laughing… it’s near impossible! This is definitely for a bride who is happy to laugh at herself or for a groom who is particularly un-romantic. The sentiment is kinda there but there’s a lot of work to be done!

‘Cause you’re so beautiful, Like a, tree

Or a high-class prostitute, You’re so beautiful-ul-ul…

Mmm, you could be a part-time model’

So, there you have it. Not for the faint-hearted maybe but definitely some ideas to create a stir and shake things up a bit! We’d love to hear and ideally see proof of any brides and grooms who chose controversial first dance songs for their big day!

 

Just chill!

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Keep calm and marry on! Wave farewell to wedding worries with these six steps. Wedding day nerves may be natural, but that doesn’t make them nice. Planning a wedding certainly hits the nerves, these are the commandments to wed by if you want to keep those niggling thoughts at bay. You’ve got this!

Between friends

For many brides, the moment you walk down the aisle is like marmite – you either love the idea or are filled with nervous dread. All eyes will be on you, but remember that they are those of friends and family. Your guests are all there to wish you well and to celebrate your marriage, and definitely not to be critical. Try to keep this in mind.

And if you’re worried about tripping? Don’t be. You’ve got someone’s arm there for physical support, you’ll be walking slowly, and your dress has already been altered for the perfect fit. You’ve got nothing to worry about.

Forgo formalities

If familiar faces don’t still your nerves, then consider forgoing some of the formalities that might make you unnecessarily anxious. If either of you can’t bear to be the centre of attention, ditch the speeches and receiving line, perhaps even the top table, to relax things. Round tables will be more convivial and prevent you from feeling on show during the wedding breakfast. Your conversation can then flow as freely as the Champagne, without any pressures, and you can stop and say a few words if and when you please.

Sharing is caring

If people don’t know what you’re feeling, they won’t always be able to help, so be sure to tell them. This applies both during the run up and on the day. Are you nervous? Stressed? Excited? Tearful? You’d be surprised how much just saying it out loud will help. When the day comes, remember that you’ll be surrounded by the people that you love the most and who love you in return – we bet they’ll be able to keep you smiling and feeling steady.

Mind over matter

Maintain this mantra for all elements of your wedding, through the wedding planning to the day itself. You can practise mindfulness techniques to keep your head happy and clear. It can be as simple as focussing on taking slow, deep breaths for a few minutes or pausing to acknowledge the things that make you happy each day.

It’s about being aware of each moment and not wrapped up in other worries. Try these techniques at night for better sleep, and, if you’re still struggling to switch off, grab a sleep-nourishing pillow mist to spritz over your cushions just before you turn in.

What wedding?

Yes, you might have a lot to do to put your wedding together, but you absolutely must make time for other things. Plan date nights, dinner with friends, girly nights in or out. Don’t let every minute, conversation or social visit become about your wedding otherwise it will consume you. Make sure exercise is part of your schedule too for a happy and healthy you – yoga will be especially good for clearing your mind and aiding relaxation.