On the road to a happy ever after!

Talk

Something about your partner bugging you? Let them know. Is something upsetting you? Talk it out. Are some of the wedding plans worrying you? Tell them! Communication is vital to a happy marriage – you should know everything there is to know about each other: all the good, the bad and the ugly. Why don’t you just tell him that you really hate that jumper that he got you for Christmas? Why don’t you let her know you’re not happy with the amount she wants to spend on the decorations? And why not tell him that you and his mother are just never going to get on. Because really, what’s the point in not being honest with the person you’re spending the rest of your life with?

Listen

Talking + listening = the dream team. Mostly because not many people like talking to a brick wall (or a useless equivalent), and also because talking things out between you is the best cure for any kind of problem! Being able to take on board anything that your partner says to you is a key factor of a happy marriage, and likewise for them to take on board anything you have to say. Like we said, it’s all about communication! It makes things a lot easier to share your worries or problems with your loved one than keep it to yourself – you never know; they might just say something useful! (Or at least can offer a cuddle at the end of it).

Compromise

The point of marriage is that you share your life with the one you love. Now, that can get a bit complicated. This is where the art of compromise comes in. It starts before marriage, because it has to; if one of person in the relationship can’t see themselves sharing the rest of their life with the other, then getting married isn’t the right thing to do, is it now? You can’t be selfish anymore – compromise is necessary to make it work! You may have wanted one thing when you were twenty years old and single, but things changed over time and you make room for the one you love, and they’ll make room for you. 

Be best friends

Being totally open with each other and the art of compromise sort of link to this too: be best friends with the one you love! You’ll laugh, you’ll cry and you’ll be able to share things you didn’t think you’d ever share with anyone else. Why? Because that’s just what best friends do, and who in their right mind wouldn’t want to live with their best friend for the rest of their lives? Answer: no one. Want to find out if your husband or wife-to-be is your bestie? 

Work at it

We’re sure lots of people have already told you, marriage isn’t the easiest thing in the world. The wedding is a beautiful day that you’ll always remember, but it isn’t all three-course meals, confetti and honeymoons from there on out. It’s hard work! But don’t give up too easily – there will be arguments and there will be disagreements, but with a little bit of patience, you’ll get there; the good times will make up for the bad times. Trust us, you just wait and see.

Know your value

We’re sure you do already, but you’ve got to make sure that you both realise how important you are to each other! You know each other better than anyone else in the world – you know when they need you the most, and when you should give them a bit of space, and they know the same for you! It’s not necessarily about saying ‘I love you’ every second of the day, it’s just about knowing how special you are to each other – with no words needed to be said. Although, a nice ‘I love you’ here and there works just as well, of course!

Keep up appearances

Just because the wedding day has passed and you’ve got the ring well and truly on your finger does not mean you should let your appearances slip. Okay, so we’re not saying you’re not allowed your weekly slob-days and so on, but it’s good to still make the effort every so often! Remind them how lucky they are to have you by wowing them with a new haircut, outfit or a weekend away – and it’s not a bad treat for yourself either!

Be realistic

With all that being said, you’ve got to be realistic too! Don’t set high expectations on marriage being an absolute dream, and most importantly, don’t set high (and impossible) expectations on your wife or husband. No, they probably can’t mind-read that you wanted this not that for your Christmas present. No, they probably can’t magic up an amazing meal just in time for when you step in the house. And no, they probably don’t really want to give you a foot massage after a long day at work. Give your partner a break (and you might just get that foot massage out of good behaviour!).

Do things together

Just because you’re happy enough sitting at home on your sofa, watching daytime telly that you know full well you’re just watching because you can’t be bothered to find the remote, does not mean that that’s how you should spend every single weekend. Where’s the fun in that? Plan things to do with your hubby or wife-to-be! And it doesn’t just have to be at the weekends, what about a midweek date night to keep you going for the rest of the working week? Date nights aren’t only for people who have just started seeing each other, married couples need date nights too. Plus, who doesn’t love getting dressed up and eating something that’s not a microwave meal every now and then?

Your wedding photography checklist

You don’t want to forget anything. All those important moments need to be captured.

  • The Photos You Really Don’t Want to Forget on Your Wedding Day
  • Before the ceremony
  • Shots of the bride and bridesmaids getting ready
  • The bride and father in the wedding car
  • The groom preparing
  • Wedding dress hanging on a beautiful hanger
  • Wedding Shoes
  • Groom waiting (nervously!) outside venue
  • Shot of the bridesmaids
  • During the ceremony
  • The bride’s grand entrance
  • The guests’ faces on seeing the bride
  • The groom waiting at the altar
  • The ring exchange
  • The kiss
  • Register signing
  • Bride and groom leaving
  • A confetti shot
  • It’s traditional to have photographs of:
  • Bride, groom, best man and ushers
  • Bride, groom, and both sets of parents
  • Bride and groom as new couple
  • Bride and groom with bridesmaids
  • Bride and groom with brothers and sisters
  • Bride and groom with grandparents
  • Bride and her mother
  • Groom and his father
  • Bride and groom with friends
  • Whole bridal party and guests

 

Reception

  • The decorated room and table plan before the guests arrive
  • Bride and groom entering
  • Speeches
  • Cake cutting
  • First dance of the bride and groom

Of course, you can add to and amend this wedding photography checklist however you want. But these are the classic images to build around. Enjoy your big day!

Be careful not to kill the mood

When you begin that walk down the aisle towards your fiancé the atmosphere is going to be electric. So make sure the music you choose is not going to kill the mood.

Will you be classical or a little bit rock’n’roll?

So what sort of music do you think you’ll walk too?

We suggest that you don’t choose anything too cutting edge. That doesn’t mean to say you can’t show off your taste in music but if you choose that week’s number one hit, you might regret it in years to come. Just as you might regret wearing a wedding dress that’s heavily styled for the moment. Go a little classic and you’ll never be out of style.

There are also some things you’ll need to bear in mind when making your music choices.

You need to consider just how long it’s going to take you to walk down the aisle. It usually takes about one to two minutes for most brides to walk the aisle. So choose a piece that doesn’t have a long intro or is instantly recognisable. If you’re planning a religious ceremony, some churches won’t allow you to play non-classical music or your own music. So you need to check your choices with the vicar.

Next, you should be thinking about how your music is going to be played. If it’s in a religious building, keep it classic and have it played on the organ. Alternatively, you could organise your own musicians to full the hall with romance.

Four pieces of music to play when you walk down the aisle;

The wedding processional from the Sound of Music.

Not a religious piece so you can use it in a civil ceremony. It’s majestic, grand and dramatic all at the same time. You’ll feel like a princess when you walk down the aisle to this.

Clair de Lune by Debussy.

This is a gorgeous tune to have played on the piano. It’s quiet, atmospheric and very romantic. Also not religious, so you could have it played while your guests are being seated.

For The Love of a Princess from Braveheart.

An atmospheric folk tune that’s emotional and sentimental in the right ways. Bound to bring tears to the eyes as your guests watch you start your walk.

The Bridal Chorus by Wagner.

Well this is the most traditional of traditional music to walk up the aisle to. Everybody will know you’ve arrived when this starts to play!

Four songs to play as you’re leaving;

Now what about after you’ve said your vows? When you’ve signed the register and you’re legally man and wife and starting the first steps on your new life together?

Here you can change the tempo a little bit, and have something that’s celebratory and uplifting.

Signed, Sealed, Delivered I’m Yours by Stevie Wonder.

 

This says it all really. You’ve said your vows and you’re on your way. A timeless piece that’s joyful, catchy and instantly recognisable.

Mairi’s Wedding by by John Roderick Bannerman.

If you’re getting married in Scotland or one or both of you are Scottish, then this is foot-tapping folk piece will surely get your guests in the mood for dancing at your reception.

Only You by The Platters.

A slow, dreamy melody that will probably take some of the older generation back to their ‘courting’ days and make them feel misty eyed.

Jesu Joy of Man’s Desiring from Bach.

A traditional masterpiece for you to walk along to starry-eyed as a Mrs, whilst beaming at your friends and family as you take your first steps as newlyweds.

How do you buy a gift that says everything?

A groom may want to write a poem for his bride about all the things he loved about her – right down to her not being the best singer in the world, but loved to hear her sing as it meant she was happy.  You may have been through tough times, but against all the odds, you made it to the altar and are looking forward to the future together.

Sometimes words are not enough and writing something for a bride who had been told she that only had a short time to live, she may want to write a poem for her groom thanking him for sticking by her, and loving her through tough times. Or writing something to be read at the reception, thanking all their friends and family who helped her to put the wedding together so quickly. This of course can be a very precious keepsake.

Little details make the difference, so in each case try to weave your personal memories and feelings into something that you are proud to deliver, either written down, or read aloud.

How is a poem useful when used in a best man speech?

Poems are incredibly useful when used as best man speeches. Often the best man doesn’t have a lot of public speaking experience and it can be daunting, and so it can be nice to have the rhythm of a poem as something to focus on while they are trying to deliver their speech. Also, for a best man, what they really want to do is be there for their friend in the run up to the wedding, so having a poem to be used as their best man speech frees up their time to really be there for them. Then all they need to do is practice their poem, present on the big day and then sit back and take all the praise for their clever delivery! Perfect!

Best Man poems can contain all the regular things you would put into a best man speech, so humorous tales from the groom’s younger days, and how he met his bride and what his friends think of her, messages from friends who can’t be there and thanks you’s and so on. They can choose to have their full wedding speech as poem, or just a small part, perhaps to be used as the crowning glory and rounding off their speech.

Poems can be presented as gifts in a number of ways, as the main gift where the sentiment is in the words, or as thank you poems for the bridesmaids to go alongside any other little gifts that you may give them. They may want to simply write it into a card, frame it with a photo, record themselves reading it and then share it on YouTube, or have it transcribed into calligraphy.

How to avoid wedding shoe mishaps

Say goodbye to sore feet, blisters and sinking into the grass!

Every bride-to-be must, at some point, get the fear of falling. Tripping as they walk up the aisle, slipping as they walk on the grass – the fear of being the next wedding fail on YouTube! But have no fear. Follow these top tips and you’ll be gliding elegantly down the aisle in no time…

Relax!

When you are tense and nervous, you are more awkward and therefore clumsier. We know this is easier said than done but this aside, it’s your wedding day, your friends and family are there to see you get married to each other, and they want the best for you. Smile, look directly into your partner’s eyes and take a deep breath.

Go for comfort

Ouch! There is nothing worse than limping around with sore feet because of ill-fitting or cheap shoes. Please remember that comfort is key here – pick a pair from a reputable seller of professional bridal shoes. The biggest secret of wedding shoes is they are designed to be the most comfortable shoes you will ever wear. Most shoes purchased off the high street do not have these extra added comfort features as they have cushioned lining and extra insole padding. Shoes with leather linings are also really comfortable as they mould to the shape of your foot, enhancing the comfort. 

Think about heel height

Linking in with tip number 2, don’t choose your wedding day to be the first time you decide to wear 6-inch heels then totter around like a bride on stilts with your bottom sticking out and sore feet to boot! That’s not a good look and you are likely to fall over, too.

Get some practice

If you want to wear heels and you’re not used to wearing them, then you’ve got to practice! Firstly, relax, then walk slowly, lean back – it may feel unnatural, but you are compensating for heels you have so lean into them. Shoulders back, don’t swing your arms but keep them at your side, one foot in front of the other, heel to toe, head up, smile and glide!

Avoid that sinking feeling

Your photographer beckons you onto the grass for those all-important couple shots – but wait! No bride wants to be sinking into the grass, so luckily we have the perfect solution. We know of the perfect solution: Clean Heels, as featured on Dragon’s Den, feature a large disc on the bottom to give your stilettos more circumference to stop them sinking in.

The right dress length

Make sure you get your wedding dress altered wearing the shoes you’re going to be wearing on the day. And remember, if you kick your shoes off later in the evening, your dress will become a trip hazard! If your dress has a train, make sure you know how to bustle it up before you start dancing.

Don’t get drunk

Sure, you’ll have the odd glass of champagne to celebrate the big day, but no one wants to see a drunk bride wobbling all over the dance floor – and falling flat on her face! You won’t have had a lot of practice walking in these shoes so do yourself a favour and stay away from the booze.

Good reasons to have a winter wedding

The number of winter weddings taking place every year is increasing. Although off-season rates are a factor for many couple’s, there are lots of fun reasons to have your big day during the winter months. Read on to find out more…

1. Dusk till Dawn

As dusk falls early, you have an extended evening to celebrate. With endless possibilities for candles, fairy lights, and fireworks to light up the night sky, winter weddings are a great excuse to have fun with lights.

2. White Wedding

Every winter bride dreams of a magical sprinkling of snow. If you get married north of the border, the chance increases even further.

3. Money Matters

The biggie. Most venues and suppliers will have off season rates, but many will also provide tempting incentives. Scottish venue Dundas Castle is offering complimentary bubbly, fairy light ceiling, and sparklers to all winter weddings in January and February 2016 as part of its ‘Winter Sparkle’ promotion.

4. Fireside Glow

Why not welcome your guests into a venue that has a roaring open fire? You could also reflect on your day with a night cap as the fire crackles – one of the great pleasures of winter weddings.

5. A date to remember

Winter is full of memorable dates to make your chosen day even more special. You could have a festive Christmas wedding, a romantic Valentine’s weekend wedding, or even start the New Year as you mean to go on – as a married couple.

6. Honeymoon Heaven

Fly to the Maldives during Summer, and you’ll hit a monsoon! Winter is southern hemisphere honeymoon season, with no school holiday supplements. The chance to ski or get some much needed winter sun makes it a honeymoon triple whammy!

7. Sunshine Stress

Getting married in winter totally eliminates ‘Will it? Won’t it?’ weather related stress. Guests will be expecting colder weather, so the focus will be on what’s going on indoors. That way, any snow or winter sun comes as an added bonus.

8. A Break from the norm

Your guests may have ‘wedding fatigue’ by the time your summer wedding comes around. A winter wedding will be a seasonal highlight too. This gives you and your guests a great excuse for a post-Christmas knees up.

9. Great Availability

Winter is still low season, making getting your ideal Saturday date a breeze. It’s also much easier finding accommodation for your guests, or bagging your dream wedding photographer or wedding band.

10. Winter Wellies

Last but surely not least, a winter wedding is your chance to sport some stylish bridal wellies. If you’re less adventurous, winter offers a plethora of clothing options. Why not go for fake fur, feathers and capes to tempt the fashion conscious.

To Pre-nup or not?

It may not be the most romantic of topics, but pre-nuptial agreements are an important part of many couples’ big-day planning.

A whopping 48% of ladies said they would, or would at least consider, signing a pre-nuptial agreement.

It seems a sensible idea, especially if you already have children from a previous relationship, or if you or your family have a lot of financial assets. Going into a relationship with a clear arrangement in place could in fact make for a more stable marriage

Don’t like the idea of discussing finances? 

You could draw up an agreement between yourselves about promises that you want to make to each other during the marriage – a romantic twist on the traditional pre-nup!

Each of you should take independent legal advice.

Tell the other frankly about what you own, earn and expect to receive.

Download and complete a Form E. Your solicitors will use this information to create a schedule for each of you respectively so that the ‘pre-marital assets’ can be ascertained.

You will also need to ensure that you make a will to reflect what you are stating will happen in the event, not only of divorce, but of death.

Ideally these should be drawn up and signed six months before the wedding. This helps to avoid what’s known as ‘late pressure’ on either party. If you do leave it too late you can of course create a post-nuptial agreement.

When celebrities tie the knot, a pre-nuptial agreement is often talked about. If financial wealth is at stake, then many would consider this controversial agreement a necessity.

Jessica Beil may have got Justin Timberlake to settle down, but not before she slapped him with a pre-nuptial agreement that entitles her to at least $500,000 if Justin ever decided to play away.

In order to protect his Playboy assets, Hugh Hefner recently had his new wife Crystal Harris sign a pre-nuptial agreement. Apparently, it states that if the couple divorce, or if Hefner dies, Crystal would have to vacate the mansion, and has no legal rights to the iconic Holmby Hills estate.

Pre-nuptial agreements aren’t for every celebrity, though. When Wayne Rooney married Colleen McLaughlin, the couple decided against the legal agreement because they thought it was un-romantic.

Congratulations! You’re engaged!

If you’re planning the big day yourselves then it’s best to break your planning down and give yourself dates of when to have things done by. That way these milestones will give you a real sense of achievement and you won’t feel so overwhelmed about how much you have to do. Instead you’ll have a clear vision of where you’re at and what else needs to be done and when you plan to do it.

Set your budget

The very first thing couples should do before anything else is to figure out what budget they have for their day. No decisions can be made until you know how much money you have to work with. Seriously think about what your limit is and speak to family members early on about what they may contribute. This is likely to feel awkward to bring up but it is important to do before you begin so you can then make plans for your day that are realistic within your budget and do not get carried away.

Get organised

Once you have added any contributions from family to your own money for the wedding allocate it sensibly to all of the elements (venue, dress, flowers etc).  If you have a wedding planner they’ll be able to guide you on this. Remember to leave 10% for contingency to give room for changes.  Create an excel spreadsheet with two columns, ‘predicted’ and ‘actual’ so you can keep track of everything that has been spent.

Book your venue

Decide whether you would like two separate locations for the day, one for ceremony and one for the reception or if you would rather have it all in one place and begin making appointments to look around potential contenders. Venues get booked up far in advance so this should be top of your list, along with booking your officiant. Make sure you have a list of questions for your venue before you go to view it. Once you’ve booked your venue, it’s time to start organising caterers, photographers and entertainment.

Time to decorate

This is when Pinterest becomes your best friend. Spend some time thinking about your wedding vision and what’s important to you for your wedding day. What are the emotions they want to evoke? Forget about how it will look for a moment and thinking about how you want it to feel. For example fun, heartfelt, romantic, full of surprises, respectful of traditions, or one hell of a party!

When do you start?

Start early but not too early. Starting early gives you the luxury of taking your time to handpick your wedding suppliers and it also means you won’t rush and panic book. You’ll have time to negotiate and do enough research. But be warned – your taste and ideas for your day can change over time and if you start too early you may regret some of the decisions you have made later down the line. Couples often leave the booking of the entertainment until late in the planning. This is usually when their budget is looking a little low and the music has almost been seen as an afterthought. Music and entertainment is super important as it can really create the atmosphere for the day so make sure you don’t leave it too late!

Enjoy it!

Finally as the wedding draws closer be careful not to tire yourselves out the week before the wedding with all those little jobs to do, such as picking up the table decorations, folding the name place cards or writing the wedding photographers shot list. If you don’t have a planner then get help from friends and family. The last thing you want is to be shattered on your big day. Lastly, enjoy it and don’t be afraid to ask friends and family for help. You’re only ever going to do it once so do it the right way!

What your bride wants to hear in your groom’s speech

You popped the question, the date is now set, the venue booked, invitations are being printed, the stag weekend is in hand. Just that minor matter of a groom’s speech still to write…

You’re not at all anxious, but why is your fiancé? Here are some top tips on how to keep her happy on the big day…

Big up the bride

Although it’s good practise to mention the best man and your ushers, and make a bit of fun at them at their expense, always remember that your wedding day is about your bond with your bride, not your best mates.

Thank your new in-laws

If your bride chooses not to speak at the wedding, she probably won’t get the chance to thank her parents publicly for all they’ve done in helping to organise the big day, and indeed for all the help, love and support provided over the years. So it’s down to you to do it for her – and she’ll love you for it.

She’s your wife – don’t be shy mentioning it!

Nothing gets more of heart-warming cheer than the line “my wife and I…”. I agree it’s predictable and a little bit cheesy, but the novelty of hearing it for the first time never fails to make a new bride smile, or indeed every one of your guests.

Keep it original

Using the occasional predictable phrase, as above, is fine, but don’t get too reliant on these one-liners, or your speech could easily sound like an internet cut and paste job. Your new bride wants you to talk about her, so be creative and keep it personal.

Mention her looks

Dazzling, stunning, beautiful – however you wish to say it, make sure you comment on her appearance, and in a positive way. The expensive dress, designer jewellery, trips to the hairdressers, manicures and facials count for something!

Remember this is a celebration of love

It isn’t your chance to deliver a 10 minute comedy stand-up routine. So try to combine your witty one-liners with a good dose of sincerity. Why did you ask her to marry you? What is it about her that you adore? How has your life changed (for the better!) since you met her? Which of your bad habits does she have to live with?

Delete all stories of ex-girlfriends

However ‘understand’ your new wife is about your future and not the past, there’s a time and a place for mentioning the exes, and the groom’s speech isn’t one of them.

Direct your speech to her

Although you’re giving a speech to, what is often, a large number of people, you don’t always have to talk to the room. It can be far more meaningful and personal if, when you’re talking about your wife, you actually speak to and make eye contact with her. But remember to keep projecting your voice. Your wife will want the guests to hear what you have to say about her, even if you’re not addressing them.

Get your Groom involved

Society has lead us to believe that a groom’s only involvement in a wedding is to have a raucous stag party, show up to the wedding, and enjoy a tropical passion-filled honeymoon.

As we move away from old and antiquated ideals, men are becoming more involved in their wedding day, and the responsibility of planning a wedding no longer needs to fall solely on the shoulders of the beautiful bride.

The modern groom has taken on more and more responsibilities in preparation for the big day, however this doesn’t mean that you need to include him in every single aspect or detail. It is important that you find ways for your groom to be involved so you can work together for your dream wedding.

Don’t include him in everything

We know there are a lot of details and decisions to be made on your big day, however many of them are far more important to you as a bride. While a groom might be excited about attending a cake tasting, he probably won’t be as thrilled about picking out table linens or dress designs. This doesn’t mean all grooms will be checked out when it comes to the details, but if you have a reluctant groom, don’t overwhelm him.

Tell him about any issues you’re facing

Most men have a desire to fix things; sometimes they even fix things that don’t need to be fixed – as you probably well know. However, if you are facing any issues, it is best to run it by your partner as you might be surprised by how engaged he becomes when he is asked about his opinion regarding any issues you’re having!

Respect that you care about different aspect of your big day

Don’t feel discouraged if your hubby-to-be isn’t as vested in everything that you think needs his full attention. It’s best to present a list of what needs to be done rather than let him choose what he is interested in. This doesn’t mean let him off the hook when it comes to being involved in the wedding planning process, just don’t let yourself get frustrated if he isn’t chomping at the bit to go pick out flower arrangements.

Embrace his creative side

If you have a husband who is handy, artistic, or loves music, finding a way to involve him could be easier than you think. Incorporating what he is passionate about into your wedding will be a great way to assure that you have an engaged groom. Let him book the band or DJ. If you’re groom is a tool smith, let him build something that can be incorporated into the ceremony, as it might even save you some money as well.

Make sure his input is valued

The most important step in this whole process is making sure that your groom feels as if his opinion is valued. If you ask him for his opinion and continually shoot it down, he will more than likely lose interest in playing a role in the planning process. Make sure to encourage his ideas and find ways that they can be included in your wedding day.

If you have a reluctant groom, try following these steps and encourage him to be more engaged! It will make your big day even more special knowing that you’ve worked together to make your dream wedding.