What she wants to hear on her special day

You popped the question, the date is now set, the venue booked, invitations are being printed, the stag weekend is in hand. Just that minor matter of a groom’s speech still to write…

You’re not at all anxious, but why is your fiancé? Here are some top tips on how to keep her happy on the big day…

Big up the bride

Although it’s good practise to mention the best man and your ushers, and make a bit of fun at them at their expense, always remember that your wedding day is about your bond with your bride, not your best mates.

Thank your new in-laws

If your bride chooses not to speak at the wedding, she probably won’t get the chance to thank her parents publicly for all they’ve done in helping to organise the big day, and indeed for all the help, love and support provided over the years. So it’s down to you to do it for her – and she’ll love you for it.

She’s your wife – don’t be shy mentioning it!

Nothing gets more of heart-warming cheer than the line “my wife and I…”. I agree it’s predictable and a little bit cheesy, but the novelty of hearing it for the first time never fails to make a new bride smile, or indeed every one of your guests.

Keep it original

Using the occasional predictable phrase, as above, is fine, but don’t get too reliant on these one-liners, or your speech could easily sound like an internet cut and paste job. Your new bride wants you to talk about her, so be creative and keep it personal.

Mention her looks

Dazzling, stunning, beautiful – however you wish to say it, make sure you comment on her appearance, and in a positive way. The expensive dress, designer jewellery, trips to the hairdressers, manicures and facials count for something!

Remember this is a celebration of love

It isn’t your chance to deliver a 10-minute comedy stand-up routine. So try to combine your witty one-liners with a good dose of sincerity. Why did you ask her to marry you? What is it about her that you adore? How has your life changed (for the better!) since you met her? Which of your bad habits does she have to live with?

Delete all stories of ex-girlfriends

However, ‘understand’ your new wife is about your future and not the past, there’s a time and a place for mentioning the exes, and the groom’s speech isn’t one of them.

Direct your speech to her

Although you’re giving a speech to, what is often, a large number of people, you don’t always have to talk to the room. It can be far more meaningful and personal if, when you’re talking about your wife, you actually speak to and make eye contact with her. But remember to keep projecting your voice. Your wife will want the guests to hear what you have to say about her, even if you’re not addressing them.

Get your man involved

Society has lead us to believe that a groom’s only involvement in a wedding is to have a raucous stag party, show up to the wedding, and enjoy a tropical passion-filled honeymoon.

As we move away from old and antiquated ideals, men are becoming more involved in their wedding day, and the responsibility of planning a wedding no longer needs to fall solely on the shoulders of the beautiful bride.

The modern groom has taken on more and more responsibilities in preparation for the big day, however this doesn’t mean that you need to include him in every single aspect or detail. It is important that you find ways for your groom to be involved so you can work together for your dream wedding.

Don’t include him in everything

We know there are a lot of details and decisions to be made when planning the perfect wedding day, however many of them are far more important to you as a bride. While a groom might be excited about attending a cake tasting, he probably won’t be as thrilled about picking out table linens or dress designs. This doesn’t mean all grooms will be checked out when it comes to the details, but if you have a reluctant groom, don’t overwhelm him.

Tell him about any issues you’re facing

Most men have a desire to fix things; sometimes they even fix things that don’t need to be fixed – as you probably well know. However, if you are facing any issues, it is best to run it by your partner as you might be surprised by how engaged he becomes when he is asked about his opinion regarding any issues you’re having!

Respect that you care about different aspect of your big day

Don’t feel discouraged if your hubby-to-be isn’t as vested in everything that you think needs his full attention. It’s best to present a list of what needs to be done rather than let him choose what he is interested in. This doesn’t mean let him off the hook when it comes to being involved in the wedding planning process, just don’t let yourself get frustrated if he isn’t chomping at the bit to go pick out flower arrangements.

Embrace his creative side

If you have a husband who is handy, artistic, or loves music, finding a way to involve him could be easier than you think. Incorporating what he is passionate about into your wedding will be a great way to assure that you have an engaged groom. Let him book the band or DJ. If you’re groom is a tool smith, let him build something that can be incorporated into the ceremony, as it might even save you some money as well.

Make sure his input is valued

The most important step in this whole process is making sure that your groom feels as if his opinion is valued. If you ask him for his opinion and continually shoot it down, he will more than likely lose interest in playing a role in the wedding planning process. Make sure to encourage his ideas and find ways that they can be included in your wedding.

If you have a reluctant groom, try following these steps and encourage him to be more engaged! It will make your big day even more special knowing that you’ve worked together to make your dream wedding.

For the Stag party

If your man is looking for something a little bit more adventurous than a night on the tiles, here are a few idea and not a stripper in sight!!

Bungee run

If the groom is a big kid at heart, this classic event will take him right back to his childhood. Now he and his mates are all ‘grown up,’ no doubt there’ll be an added element of competition. The point of the event is to run as far as possible before the bungee hurls you backwards. In the process, the competitors have to place a baton as far along the belt as possible. The bouncy castle arena makes the going unstable as the guys run for the end, and this will inevitably tee up some quality tumbles.

The Bull Run

Available to stags in Madrid, this event takes the bull by the horns and pits the guys against some terrifying beasts. Running with the bulls is one of the most famous events in Europe, and it’s a sensational idea for a stag party. The event is steeped in tradition and the experiences on offer come with either a mentor or a tutor to ensure both your safety, as well as that of the animals.

This is a great way to embrace the culture of another country in a completely fun and novel way. Events come with a Spanish meal, so your groom will have enough energy to get out of the way of the horns!

Sumo Wrestling

This fun-fuelled event pits fellow stag group members against each other.  The guys are separated into two teams and thrown into head-to-head competition. The winning team will be determined by the amount of wins they get under their extremely large belts. In some locations you can theme your evening with a trip to a Japanese restaurant, where sake will undoubtedly be on the menu.

The Kidnap

This is quite extreme so you really have to know the groom well enough to ensure that he would appreciate this. Available in Eastern Europe, the event involves a group of ‘soldiers’ ambushing the group and hijacking the stag, and whoever else is in the dark, at (fake) gun point and bundling them into the back of a van, where they are then taken off to a derelict prison. After some intimidation through mock torture, they reveal the hoax and let everyone go. 

An alternative scenario is where the stag is handcuffed and a bag is thrown over his head. He’s then bundled into the back of a car and taken away. When they stop, he is walked into a building where he is then chained to a pole. The bag is then removed to reveal a lap dance club and the rest of the group, who are probably pretty happy with themselves by this point.

This is not for the faint-hearted, but that’s the whole point of these alternatives.  

Winter wedding Style tips for him

Consider a tweed wedding suit

Known for its rough texture and beige or grey colour, tweed was once considered an informal cloth. Today, people see tweed in a different light. In contrast to the rural and informal associations of yesteryear, tweed is often seen as chic, whimsical and authentically British. Not only have we seen an increase in tweed business suits, we’ve also tailored some fantastic, tweed, wedding suits, too.

Rustic weddings

If you’re having a rustic wedding this autumn or winter, in a barn or a country church, a tweed suit will look fantastic. Tweed was designed for the green but often rainy, Great British outdoors. Nothing looks better against a misty backdrop of hills and fields than a man in a tweed suit.

Add a waistcoat

Still not sure about a tweed wedding suit? Consider adding a waistcoat, making it a three-piece suit instead. The waistcoat will balance the perceived informality of the cloth, making it special enough for the occasion.

Warm up with wool

A wool/cashmere blend – whether as a lounge suit or as a morning suit – is a good choice for an autumn or winter groom’s suit. It’s luxurious, comfortable and keeps you warm all day. The fact that this is your wedding suit means durability might not be your number one priority.  This is good because cashmere trousers wear through quickly and tailors will often recommend buying two pairs with your suit.

Look fab in flannel

A flannel wedding suit will keep out the cold and add an autumnal flavour to your attire. Flannel was once the go-to fabric for men’s suiting. This was before wool ousted it as the most popular type of cloth. One very good reason to get married in flannel is that you’ll have the suit for many autumns and winters to come as is it very durable. Its softness, versatility and medium weight means you’ll probably get more use out of it than a tweed alternative.

Eye on the time

If you’re wearing a wedding three-piece suit, a classic pocket watch on a chain is a great way to mark the specialness of the day. There look particularly dashing when wore as part of a wider vintage theme.

Bring on the braces

Braces are an attractive addition to a groom’s wedding suit, especially if you’re going for a more casual look – for instance, if you’re wearing them with trousers, a shirt and canvas trainers. Not many modern men get to wear braces.  Like the pocket watch, they have a novelty factor that can look unique in your wedding photographs.

Final tip

Whatever look you’re interested in, make sure you include your fiancée in the discussion. You may not be allowed to see her dress, but if she doesn’t know what you have in mind, how will you know that your outfits are complementary? You two have to be in the know!

Wedding photo ideas to inspire you

Perfect props

With wedding photo booths becoming more and more popular, brides these days know the importance of a funny prop! Moustaches, glasses, hats and wigs make for hilarious photo opportunities with all your guests, but make sure you get at least one with just you and the girls!

Getting ready

This one’s a classic, but a surprising number of brides forget it! Whether it’s a natural shot of you all prepping for the big day or a posed group photo of you all together (these work particularly well if you’re wearing matching robes, pyjamas or t-shirts!), make sure you capture the atmosphere of excitement and anticipation before the ceremony.

Pucker up

This one is easy peasy – apply lipstick and POUT! We especially like images like this if the bridesmaids are wearing a bright pop of colour on their lips, but it’s a funny, girly photo to have in your album whatever your maids are wearing.

Cuddle with mum

If you have tiny flower girls or if your bridesmaids have young children of their own, it’s nice to get a candid shot of the family having a quick cuddle, especially if the little ones are all dolled up for the occasion.

Drink up

This cheeky photo brings a whole new meaning to the term ‘group shot’! Although it may be more traditional to have a photo of the groom and his ushers enjoying a tipple in the bar pre-ceremony, we love to see brides and their girls partaking in a little Dutch courage!

Funky glasses

These days, many couples use their wedding reception as the opportunity to just have a brilliant rave-up with their friends and family. If you and your bridesmaids are serious party animals, don’t forget to dig out some funny photo props like novelty sunglasses and glo sticks!

Funny face

Having younger bridesmaids or flower girls is great for unintentionally hilarious photo opportunities. Get your little ones to goof it up for the camera for a sweet picture that you’ll love – and can bring out at their 18th birthday parties!

Looking back

This is a great opportunity to show off the back of the bridesmaids’ dresses if they have pretty details like bows or keyholes.

Give it some welly!

Let’s face it – in a British countryside wedding, there’s a very good chance that you and your bridesmaids will have wellies on standby whatever the season. Turn it into a positive – buy cool patterned or coloured ones and have a fun photo with you and your girls wearing them!

Swing out sister

Many country wedding venues have swings in their grounds, so use them for a photo opportunity! This is a particularly good shot for brides who only have a small number of maids but still want the fun of a group shot.

Gifts for your special guests

Parents of the Bride and Groom

Your wedding day will be a very proud and happy day for your parents. They have seen you grow up, fall in love and embark on newly married life together. They’ve also probably chipped in towards your big day in some way, shape or form. It’s only right that parents of the bride and groom should receive a token of thanks that is truly personal and reflects your relationship with them. We love personalised items like bracelets or watches to treasure and forever remind them of your happiest day.

Best Man

He’s organised the stag do and been a rock on the morning of the wedding, not to mention the unforgettable speech he made. Many best men also take on some of the planning tasks once the bride and groom have chosen what they want. Say thank you with an experience day to share with the groom – think sports cars, off-road driving or paint balling if budget allows. Alternatively, a personalised glass, hip flask or decanter complete with his favourite beverage will be perfect for when it’s his turn to need a bit of Dutch courage.

Bridesmaids

Your maids have doubtlessly helped your day run smoothly, whether that’s helping you in and out of your dress or squeezing your hand before your big entrance. It’s time to treat them in return. Depending on your budget, pamper kits, fancy chocolates, a bottle of Prosecco or even wedding-themed Pandora charms are all fabulous options to say thank you and remember the day by.

Maid of Honour

Your right-hand girl deserves something special. It’s okay for you to give her something different to your other bridesmaids – she has had a bigger job to do after all. If you don’t want to make it obvious that she’s getting something extra, slip a card into her gift bag letting her know that you’ll take her out for dinner or afternoon tea, or have booked a girly spa treatment as an extra thank you.

Groomsmen

Like your best man, your groomsmen have been there for you through the run up to your wedding. Personalised cufflinks are a traditional option, but you could also treat them to aftershave or bottles of wine or whiskey.

Pageboys and Flower Girls

Likely to be littler ones, we even have bridal party gift ideas for your pageboys and flower girls. Personalised chocolates and sweetie goody bags will be popular in the short term, but it’s also nice for them to grow up with a memento from your big day, so don’t discount more grown up gift ideas like a leather makeup or wash bag – they can keep them safe until they are old enough to use them.

Benefits of the brides-to-be

Here are those times when it’s alright to use that age-old excuse of brides-to-be…

To get out of something

Sometimes you might find yourself in a situation you don’t want to be in, whether that’s an uncomfortable conversation with a good friend asking if you fancy going to that book club she’s started (when the answer is a definite no), or just a plain awkward conversation.

The answer? “Oh, I’m so sorry, tonight I’ll be super busy doing wedding-y things and looking at wedding-y stuff”, or “Hey guys, I’m getting married, did you know?”. Whilst they most likely did know, the words ‘wedding’ or ‘getting married’ is pure gold for conversation starters and getting out of any unwanted evening plans.

To show off your ring whenever you want

Talking of wedding chat, showing off the ring is another conversation starter and will inevitably grab the attention of anyone around. That well-practiced hand flick of yours to make your ring dazzle and catch people’s eyes will never go to waste, even if you’ve spread the news of your engagement.

To blag some freebies

There are lots of bits and bobs involved with weddings, and people know that perfectly well. Because of this, walking around town talking about how you’re getting married may just get you a few freebies. People will want you to buy from them, and what better way to tempt a bride with the loving kindness of a freebie?

And then there’s the gift list! Putting together a list of things you want so that people can buy them for you is the absolute dream, right? That fancy toaster you’ve been eyeing up every time you visit John Lewis? On the list! That activity on your honeymoon that would send you just a bit over budget? On the list!

But don’t think it’s all over for you when the wedding has been and gone. If you’ve got a honeymoon planned – whether it’s straight after the big day or a little bit later – it’s a good idea to let them know it’s your honeymoon that you’re celebrating, you lovebirds may just get some special treatment…

To drink in the morning

The morning of the big day: the time when the words ‘I’m getting married’ will probably be said again and again in a matter of minutes. It’s a big day and you’ll be feeling a mixture of nerves and excitement, and that glass (or bottle) of fizz staring at you from your fridge is the perfect way to calm you down. Even if the clock has only just hit 10am, it’s okay because YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED!

Find the perfect destination

While a destination wedding may be your lifelong dream, remember without your guests there is no event.  Consider travel costs and accessibility from where the majority of your guests will be traveling from when selecting a destination.

Knowledge is power

Ask the hard hitting questions before making a commitment when shopping around for a destination wedding.

Peaks and Valleys

The best time of year to travel to the Caribbean and Mexico is the fall. Room rates are lower and some hotels reduce their wedding package pricing or offer added perks/concessions.

Strength in Numbers

Most hotels will offer reduced rates, incentives and concessions for wedding groups who commit to a minimum number of rooms under contract.

Listen to the Experts

Hotels that are committed to destination weddings will have on-site wedding coordinators. Listen to their advice; who else knows the resort better than they do. They are your eyes and ears during the overseas, long distance wedding planning phase. There’s no added cost to utilize the service and expertise of the resort’s coordinator.

Keep it Local

One of the easiest ways to cut costs is to keep it local. Instead of insisting on midnight blue orchids that have to be imported, use flowers grown locally. Don’t insist on bringing your own vendors. Ask the resort for a list of their trusted vendors and capitalize on the relationships built by the resort with these vendors.

Time is on Your Side

Book at least 9-months in advance for best date selection.  Last minute wedding planning can result in unexpected costs. Plus, make sure the save-the-dates are in the mail well in advance to allow family and friends time to budget and plan.

Legal is so “Yesteryear”

There is no need to get legally married in the destination you’ve chosen. Take care of the legal paperwork in your home state to save hundreds of dollars on the cost of a legal ceremony in another country. You’ll avoid a variety of other ‘legalities’ such as needing to translate documents and blood tests.

Arrive in Style

Plan on arriving at your destination at least three days prior to the wedding day. Use the extra time at your destination and resort to scope out the place, get to know the staff, and meet with the resort coordinator and vendors.

Don’t Go on Price Alone

Trust in the hotels that are willing to show you their pricing upfront. Every ‘free wedding’ promotion has restrictions and requirements.

Get wedding ready

Be honest about your budget

Even if you’re not the bride, being part of a wedding can be expensive. A new wedding dress and accessories, gifts, travel expenses – it all adds up. Before you buy your outfit or even RSVP, it’s a good idea to be honest about your budget and what you can afford. Don’t go dress shopping “just for fun” and end up falling in love with the designer gown – this goes for brides, too!

Write down all your to-dos

This one goes without saying for the bride-to-be, but don’t think as a wedding guest that you don’t have a lot to get sorted! From hair and nail appointments, to finding the perfect gift, dress and accessories to match, it’s a great idea to make a compact to-do list so that you’re not panicked at the last minute.

Practice those wedding picture poses

Hate how you look in photos? Many people become self-conscious and slouch over as soon as a camera appears. It might sound silly, but spending some time in front of the mirror practicing picture-perfect poses will give you extra confidence on the day. Holding a smile for endless pictures can actually cause you to frown, so remember to try and keep your smile natural.

Have your nails professionally done

Naturally, everyone will want to see your hands on your wedding day! Showing off your beautiful new ring means that people will notice if your nails aren’t up to scratch – the same goes for bridesmaids who are holding bouquets. Take time to moisturise your hands in the week running up to the main event and get a chic matching manicure to your dress or accessories.

Avoid crash diets

Adding ‘clean’ foods to your diet, like fresh veggies, as well as cutting out or limiting your consumption of processed foods, is a great way to look and feel healthier. Avoid crash dieting – it can put a stress on your body and cause your metabolism to go into starvation mode, while also adding unnecessary feelings of guilt during an already stressful time. 

Avoid last-minute treatments (facials, Peels, etc.)

Waxing, facial peels and other intensive skincare treatments can cause short-term in inflammation and irritation, so doing these one or two nights before the wedding is a bad call. To give your skin some time to recover, make sure you have all your treatments done at least a week before the event. This will ensure your skin is radiant and ready in time.

Experiment with hairstyles

Everyone’s hair is different and what suits one bride or bridesmaid might look disastrous on another. Check out some simple hairstyles in a magazine or online and try them out to see what suits. Don’t be afraid to mix it up a bit – if you usually go straight, try some loose curls for an elegant look.

Wear natural-looking make-up

Painting on too much bold makeup will make you stand out in wedding photos – and not for the right reasons. If you love a bold lip colour, balance it out with light foundation and simple eye makeup. A natural-looking glow can be achieved with a good exfoliator, primer and highlighter.

Get to know the rest of the wedding Party

Especially if you’re part of the main event, spend a little time getting to know the rest of the party before the wedding. This is a great way to break the ice and you’ll all feel much more comfortable dealing with any last-minute stresses together on the big day!

Break in new shoes

Wearing new shoes that haven’t been broken in can mean taking them off before the night is through. If you find some new shoes that are perfect for your wedding out t, make sure you spend a few days walking in them around the house so that they’re nice and comfortable in time for the celebrations.

What to wear as a guest

Check your invitation

Has the bride specified a strict dress code for what to wear to the wedding? Will it be a black tie affair? Are there hats involved? Firstly, check your invitation. This will give you a good indication of where to start.

Don’t wear white

Female wedding guests should avoid wearing anything white or ivory – these shades are strictly reserved for the bride. Men should avoid wearing a morning suit, you don’t want to turn up looking like a member of the wedding party when you’re actually not.

Mum’s the word!

Try to find out what colour the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom are wearing and, as a guest, try to avoid these colours. It’s a big day for the mums as well and they want to stand out in the photos as much as the bride.

Don’t over or under – dress

One thing is for sure, wearing jeans, T-shirt and trainers is a massive no for anyone attending wedding. We know it’s going to be a long day and you can start to feel uncomfortable but it’s not all about you! This is the bride’s special day and this is a formal occasion, so you need to dress appropriately. Let the bride and groom know that you’ve made a special effort for their day. Don’t over dress with huge, eye-catching details that will take the emphasis of the bride. Equally, don’t under dress and give the vicar an eye full! For the guys, a well-fitting suit, shirt and shiny shoes is all you need. During the day, make sure you wear a tie – this can be discarded in the evening once the party becomes more casual.