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Same Sex Wedding Tips

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Wedding planning is stressful enough. It gets even more confusing when most of the advice out there revolves around a bride and groom—and you’re both one of the above.

1. Don’t worry about what you “should” do

Instead of worrying about how to make your ceremony line up with (straight) tradition, view it as a chance to throw an event exactly your way, without any of the old-school “must-haves” that don’t mean anything to you personally. “Because many same-sex couples don’t have gendered roles in their relationship, they really have the freedom to reinvent the wedding.

2. Get creative with your wedding party

Who says a woman has to have maids of honour and only guys get to nominate best men? Choose the guests you want up at the altar with you—whatever sex they are—and name them accordingly. You could have bride’s men, groom’s maids, a man of honour or a best woman, for instance, or give the whole gang a fun name like the “I Do Crew” or “Bridal Brigade.” Or skip the guests altogether and keep all eyes on you and your partner.

3. Social media is your friend

Can’t visualize what your invitations, vows or any other part of your wedding should look like? That’s what Pinterest is for.

4. Put your own stamp on the ceremony

Many traditional wedding ceremonies feature a groom waiting at the altar for his bride to walk toward him down the aisle. So what happens if you’ve got two grooms or two brides? It totally depends on what you and your partner feel comfortable with. Some ideas:

Walk down the aisle one right after the other.

Walk each other down the aisle, perhaps arm in arm or holding hands.

Walk in unison down separate aisles leading to the altar.

Flip a coin before the ceremony to decide who proceeds down the aisle first.

5. You can still have your own pre-parties

There’s no reason you have to forego a party with your best mates just because you’re both stags or hens. So go ahead and plan your own celebration, whether it’s a weekend in Amsterdam or a trip to the seaside. One thing that’s really common is two partners having separate parties on the same night and then meeting up at the end.

6. A planner may be worth the money

Though a wedding planner isn’t in everyone’s budget, a coordinator can help you save time by steering you toward venues and officiants that he knows to be inclusive of same-sex weddings.

7. Vet your honeymoon destination before you book

Once you’ve come up with a list of dream destinations—particularly international ones—do a little research first and cross off any that don’t afford the same legal protections and cultural acceptance that same-sex couples have here. That way, your honeymoon can be just as blissful as the wedding itself.

Finding your dream plus size dress

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Finding your dream plus size wedding dress should be one of the most exciting moments of any girl’s life, and thanks to forward-thinking wedding dress designers and boutiques, curvy brides have more choice than ever before!

We love plus-size brides so we’re always promoting new designers and collections that are specifically created to make the curvier among us feel amazing! Over half the UK female population wears a dress size 16 or over, so we think it’s only fair that all brides get to find the wedding dress of their dreams, no matter their shape or size!

Gone are the days where larger sizes weren’t even manufactured, let alone stocked – these days’ bridal designers are wising up to the fact that not every bride is a size 8, and are creating beautiful, flattering wedding dresses for sizes 18 and over. Some of our very favourite names in the bridal industry have increased their range of sizes so that larger ladies can rock their stunning designs: Alfred Angelo, Maggie Sottero and True Bride all cater for plus-size brides, with UK sizes going up to 30, 32 and 36 respectively!

Choose your fabric wisely. Chiffons will skim over lumps and bumps, while heavier satins and taffetas can be ruched for a flattering effect.

Use what you’ve got! The brilliant structuring of dedicated plus-size gowns means you can really work that hourglass shape – don’t be scared of curve-hugging silhouettes like the mermaid!

Think about clever accessories. A well-positioned sash and brooch will draw the eye to the smallest part of your body, and will help to balance out your top and bottom halves.

Speak up! Don’t be afraid to end the appointment if you feel that you’re not being treated well – you deserve to feel fantastic during your wedding dress shopping!

Hollywood Honeymoons

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If you and your other half are film buffs, or just love the idea of including some Hollywood glamour into your honeymoon, incorporate a stay at a world famous hotel that’s been used as a film location. Here are some ideas to inspire you:

Italy

The Please Garden (Alfred Hitchcock’s first film): Villa D’Este

Alfred Hitchcock spent nearly every summer at the Villa d’Este and was completely enamoured with the beautiful surroundings. He filmed his first movie The Pleasure Garden on the hotel grounds in 1925. The hotel has over 150 rooms, all completely unique from one another with their own style and size. Hitchcock isn’t the only artist to fall in love with Villa d’Este; distinguished fashionistas have all fallen in love with the place including Calvin Klein, Oscar de la Renta, Donna Karan and Paul Smith.

A Room with a View: Degli Orafi, Florence

The famous 1980’s film A Room with a View charts the romance between Miss Lucy Honeychurch; a young Edwardian woman, with a free-spirited young man she meets in Italy. The couple first meet at a hotel in Florence, and modern-day visitors to the Degli Orafi hotel can stay in the exact room they meet, room 414 on the 4th floor. The view in question is from the room’s spectacular terrace which overlooks the Arno and Ponte Vecchio.

The United States of America

Ocean’s 11: The Bellagio Hotel, Las Vegas

The Bellagio is features a few times in Ocean’s 11. Firstly, the Las Vegas Boulevard entrance is seen when Saul arrives at the casino to place some big bets to get Terry Benedict’s attention. Saul walks right through the main entrance underneath the hotel’s distinctive glass flower chandelier. Also, whilst the movie makes it seem as though Basher Tarr is in a remote location when he pulls the trigger to turn out the Vegas Strip lights, the scene is actually filmed from on top of Bellagio’s self-park garage!

The Bodyguard: Fontainebleu Miami Beach

In The Bodyguard the Fontainebleu makes an appearance as the host of the charity benefit where Whitney Houston’s character Rachel sings ‘I Have Nothing’. However, the luxury grounds of the hotel have appeared in more than one Hollywood blockbuster. In the third James Bond film, Goldfinger, the Fontainebleu is where Sean Connery’s 007 checks in before thwarting the movie’s villain during a game of poolside Gin Rummy, and in Al Pacino’s Scarface, the beach hotel is where Montana and Manny Ray relax and eye up ladies.

Pretty Woman: The Beverly Wilshire, California

In the 1990 blockbuster Pretty Woman, the Beverly Wilshire Hotel is where Edward Lewis (played by Richard Gere) puts up his escort Vivian Ward (played by Julia Roberts). Vivian endears herself to the staff of the hotel, resulting in the hotel manager teaching her about place settings, and the hotel is conveniently located next to the designer’s shops in Rodeo Drive. The hotel celebrated the 25th anniversary of the film by offering Pretty Women packages that ranged from $15,000 to $100,000 and included homages to the film including a night in the presidential suite, a personal shopper on Rodeo Drive with $3,000 shopping money, couple’s massages, a diamond pedicure and a romantic dinner on the Veranda Suite Terrace.

Maid in Manhattan: Roosevelt Hotel, New York

Jennifer Lopez plays a hardworking maid at the fictional Beresford Hotel in the 2002 romantic comedy Maid in Manhattan. The exterior of the Beresford was actually the Waldorf-Astoria but the majority of the filming took place within the Roosevelt Hotel. The Roosevelt has also been featured in a number of other Hollywood films including The Taking of Pelham 123, The French Connection and Men in Black 3.

Garden party ideas

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One of the biggest wedding theme trends last year was ‘garden party’, but this year’s brides are set to combine this elegant theme with rustic country details. With these top tips, you can make this ever-evolving theme personal to you.

Outdoor wedding venue

To hold an authentic country garden wedding theme you usually need one of three types of venue – a country barn with fairy lights wrapped around the beams, a marquee reception with hay bales for seating, or a quintessentially English manor house with beautiful gardens filled with blooms where you could set up garden games for your guests to enjoy.

This year’s brides will also be giving their country garden theme a festival edge with large tipis and marquees, camping areas for their guests and live music.

Pastel perfection

From the details through to the bridesmaid dresses floral prints and pastel shades are best suited to a country garden theme.

The best floral prints for this theme are pansies, daisies and roses. Think pink, lavender, turquoise and lemon for perfectly pretty girls. Keep shoes nude and hair accessories minimal – flower headbands, perhaps?

The little details

It’s the little details your guests will notice, so consider some of these country inspired ideas… Handpicked flowers for the bouquets and centrepieces, raffia-tied jam jar favours filled with mini eggs and handmade bunting with Cath Kidston-style material spread all around the venue.

Searching for cheap and cheerful favour ideas? How about attaching a place card to a shiny green apple, or laying a sprig of lavender on your napkins?

Boho bride

For a country look, consider a short or tea-length wedding dress, and for a bit of fun, add a coloured underskirt with matching shoes! Put real flowers in your hair and accessorise with pearls – the chunkier the pearls, the more modern the look.

Make sure you have some wedding wellies on hand for your outdoor reception, as well as some white umbrellas should you need to shelter guests at any point.

Country stationery

Textured stationary with a DIY feel will work really well with this theme. Raffia, cotton or button embellishments are great.

Tea and cake

What’s a country garden party without high tea? Instead of a traditional dessert, put a tiered cake stand on each table filled with scones, muffins and cupcake so guests can help themselves, with a pot of tea and coffee on hand to wash it down. Why not stir up a little competitive spirit among your guests and have a Great Wedding Bake-Off?

Set up a table in the marquee and ask guests to bring their homemade goodies. The bride and groom can then present first, second and third prize before cutting their own wedding cake.

Arrive in style

Instead of a traditional vintage car, consider something a little more authentic, like a tractor! Just make sure you give it a good clean beforehand or you could end up with a muddy dress!

Country garden brides may want to take advantage of the (hopefully) good summer weather and walk to their ceremony – the ultimate eco-friendly way to arrive at your ceremony or reception.

Country entertainment

The obvious answer here is country music, maybe a live folk band for the evening? This type of fun upbeat entertainment will appeal to all ages and will certainly get everyone on their feet.

The importance of a good videographer and photographer

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One of the most important questions you’ll ask yourself when picking your wedding suppliers is ‘how much does it cost?’ and ‘can I get it cheaper elsewhere?’. Like most budget-savvy brides you’ll be keen to know that you’re getting the best price. But when it comes to wedding videography, cheap and cheerful can be risky.

A wedding is a live event and we don’t get any re-shoots like in the movies. This is where the skills of a good videographer come in handy. It is possible to unobtrusively film someone’s wedding, and create a film that is great to watch over and over again.

A good editor will be able to craft your story into an entertaining and watchable film that you can proudly share with friends and family. So many couples have their wedding filmed, and it ends up gathering dust on the top shelf. You really want to spend your money on something that you’re going to watch for years to come.

At the other end of the spectrum in wedding videography, you have the ‘film your own wedding video’ companies, an idea which originated from Shoot It Yourself in 2009. While this is certainly cheaper than hiring someone to film your wedding for you, as you don’t have to pay for a videographer to be there on the day, it is still a professional editing service and you get what you pay for.

Some people don’t really understand the concept; that whilst there is actually nobody present at the wedding, the company prep, maintain and deliver the cameras and go through all six hours of footage to find the best clips. It’s the same amount of time, energy, attention to detail and skill goes into editing a ‘self-shot’ wedding video as it does a professional wedding video.

On the other hand, there are those couples who are looking for something less formal, that captures the big personalities of their family and friends.

There are, of course, hundreds of wedding videographers to choose from but with so much time, effort and money spent on your wedding day, we would recommend that you choose a reputable company with a proven track record. Remember, there is no such thing as a good cheap wedding video and if a deal seems too good to be true, it almost certainly is!

Your wedding photography and videography are two of the most important things to get right on the big day, as they will capture precious memories that you cannot repeat again.

Ideas for wedding gifts

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Between the food, the event space, the photographer and the band — you may have spent a large part of your savings on your wedding. If you were lucky enough to receive wedding gift money from friends and family, you can really make this money work for you. Instead of using your cash for a trip to the Caribbean or on a new car, consider the following suggestions:

Start an emergency fund. We know it doesn’t sound as glamorous as a spa package, but starting an emergency fund and help to combat stress when something unexpected comes up. Whether it’s a sudden boiler breakdown or car repair, this saved cash will help if times get tough. It’ll also make you feel better to know there’s a bit of a cushion. We recommend opening an account that offers quick access and storing away £1,000 — you can always add to it.

Pay some bills. You’ve just planned a huge event and you’ve paid your fair share for it, so don’t feel guilty about using some of your gift money for your monthly bills, or even prepaying your mortgage if you have one. If you’ve been carrying around some unwanted debt — credit card, or car loan — consider paying off some of it. Having trouble deciding which to pay off first? Start by paying off the loan with the highest interest rate.

Watch it grow. It’s a smart idea to save and invest a big chunk of your gift money — this way it can gain interest and over time make money for you. It could be your deposit on a home or a nest egg for retirement. A financial adviser can help make sure you’re putting your cash in the best account for you, whether that be a tax advantaged plan, like a traditional ISA.

Invest in your home. If you’ve been looking for a place to call your own, your wedding money may make a nice deposit payment. As you probably know, the larger your deposit, the less interest you’ll typically end up paying on the loan.

Already have a nest? You could make updates and improvements to your current place, which can potentially increase its property value.

Look into life insurance. Now’s the perfect time to take out life for you and your new spouse. Pushing a plan to the side any further will make it more difficult to attain. Thankfully, this isn’t a huge investment, just a smart one.

Don’t be conventional

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1. Walk Down Memory Lane
Make the guest feel like integral parts of the day by incorporating them into the décor — in a gallery of meaningful photos. Why not hang pictures of the bride and groom with friends and family along the walk from the ceremony to the reception. It’s a fun cocktail party conversation starter.” As guests take a leisurely stroll and find pictures of themselves with you, they can reminisce and socialize.

2. Break the Ice Creatively
When you enter your reception for the first time as husband and wife, don’t just take a conventional arm-in-arm stroll. “Run. Skip. Dance. Swoop in on a rope swing! Brainstorm with your groom about the most creative, appropriate way to make a big impression. This is a great way to break the ice and set up for a fun vibe for the rest of the event.
3. Play Party Games
How about the menus being puzzles, so each person got one piece of the puzzle at their place setting, then everyone had to put the pieces together to get the full menu description. Crossword puzzles are fun for the back of a program or if you have guests going on a long bus ride to get to the wedding reception venue.

4. Be Entertaining
Guests always love the energy of a live band but tend to want to hear the original artist sing their favourite tunes. As a compromise, a bride may hire a dance band but also play DJ music during the breaks, or she’ll arrange to have live music during some parts of the event and recorded music during others.

5. Surprise them!
Love poems from a book makes a wonderful, lasting guest favour that’s much more meaningful that a bag of sugared almonds! If you buy in bulk, you might get a discount — contact your bookseller directly. And don’t forget to add a personalized bookmark thanking your friends and family for sharing your big day with you.”

Weddings on a budget

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It’s easier than you think to save money on your big day. Here’s the first part with those easy peasy ways to keep to your budget during the wedding planning process…

Set yourself a budget

It’s essential to have a clear idea of what you can and can’t afford before you even begin any planning. With a strict, set budget you’ll be able to keep track of where your money’s going and you won’t end up overspending!

Prioritise

Before you start planning, think about what’s most important to your on the day. Plan to splurge only on the things that are really meaningful to you and your h2b, and save on everything else.

Simplify

It’s important that your day reflects you. Don’t try to plan an extravagant wedding if you don’t have the funds! Simple, elegant weddings can still be perfect and you won’t blow the budget. Remember – your wedding day is about sharing and showing your love for your partner, not showing off.

Shop around

Don’t rush into buying anything as soon as you’re engaged. Dress shopping is definitely a planning highlight, and it’s so easy to get carried away and end up buying the first dress you fall in love with. Make sure you keep your eyes peeled for the best offers and get an idea of different styles that are available. Likewise, get several quotes to make sure you’re getting the best price and research carefully so you don’t end up being overcharged.

Hunt for bargains

You don’t have to splash out on a designer gown if you don’t have the money. The high street has a great selection of wedding gowns and if you search vintage shops you may discover quirky and original finds for a fraction of the price.

Let your bridesmaids wear their own dresses

It can be a nightmare finding bridesmaid dresses that your girls all agree on. If you let your maids choose their own, not only will you cut out any dress shopping drama, but they’re also more likely to foot the bill at the end!

Create a salon at home!

You can still look and feel fab if you do your own hair and make-up. While getting styled by the professionals is a definite luxury on the day, if you’re used to doing your own make up, you’ll still be able to create a natural, beautiful look as well as saving money.

Just remember that it’s important to practise a few different styles before the big day to avoid any beauty mishaps! Why not book an appointment with a beauty consultant in a department store or go to a masterclass as party of your hen do?

Don’t turn into a Bridezilla!!!

We’re sure you already know that wedding planning has its ups, and its downs. Here are the signs that wedding planning has got a bit too much for you (it’s only temporary, promise!)…

Taking over your life

With it being a day that most brides-to-be have dreamed about since they were a little girl, it’s no wonder that it planning your wedding will take up a lot of your time. Even if you’re not actively out shopping for it or actively getting those DIY tasks done, you’ll find yourself subconsciously ‘favouriting’ all sorts of articles and shopping searches so you can come back to them later. Even your iPod that you plug in on the way to work is filled with ceremony classics to help you pick out your playlist.

The one becomes not the one

If you’re starting to question the magical feeling you had when you found ‘the one’, you’ve been thinking too much about it. When the dream-dress-doubt creeps in, it’s time to get a grip! It’s a common thing for brides to feel in the run up to their wedding – they want to look and feel their best after all – but get yourself through the doubting stage, and that magical feeling will return when you put it on. Then you’ll be wondering how on earth you ever thought it wasn’t the one!

Goodbye wedding diet

Sometimes brides and grooms-to-be fancy going on a diet or a mission to get into shape before their big day, and that’s okay! Healthy eating and taking up jogging is all around good for you and we totally recommend it to not only look your best, but also feel and be your best (but no ridiculous dieting please!). But when the stress kicks in, so do the carb and sugar cravings, and before you know it: your head is lodged in the back of the cupboard trying the find that secret stash of Mars Bars you hid away from the healthy-you. Oops.

Your friends stop contacting

Suddenly, conversation becomes just you talking. Why aren’t they replying your WhatsApp’s, texts, phone calls, Facebook messages, emails or tweets? Just why? Because maybe, just maybe, your predominant conversation topic – your wedding – is getting a little too much. Linking to the first point, just because it’s taking over your life (to a degree if you’re careful!), doesn’t mean it has to take over theirs. If you can’t think back to what you and your best girls spoke about before you got engaged, you’ve gone a step too far.

OR they’re constantly asking if you’re okay

Or perhaps you’ve got to the stage where you don’t want to talk about your wedding, in fact, you don’t want to do anything. Like any good friend, they will all be worried about the fact you’re not getting out of bed due to wedding-meltdown. When you actually do make it out of your dressing gown and slippers and go out, you’ll be jumped on with incessant questions like, ‘Are you okay?’, ‘I’m always here for you, you know that, right?’ and ‘If there’s anything I can do, will you tell me?’. If you’re at either of these stages with your friends – them either outright ignoring you or them overly anxious about you, it’s probably a good time to have a little break from planning, we think…

Can the honeymoon hurry up?

Talking of a little break: the honeymoon! You just cannot stop thinking about the honeymoon. The happiness of the thought of just utter relaxation and having nothing to worry about is so much that you even start to curse the wedding because it’s getting in the way of it! It’s the one obstacle between you and that sunbed.

You’re ticking all the boxes.

If you’re ticking any of these boxes of 10 signs that you are an un-cool bride to be, you only need a quick reality check and you’ll see the monster you’re turning into!

Tips for Wedding Shoes

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Every girl loves a new pair of shoes, especially if it’s the pair she will be wearing on the day of her wedding! Whilst the dress is usually the most exciting part of your bridal look, we believe your shoes are just as important. We take a look at 8 wedding shoe tips to ensure your shoes are comfortable and perfectly complement your wedding dress and personal style!

1. Quality

It is understandable that many brides opt for cheap wedding shoes especially if they are trying to stick to a budget. They usually feel it’s a waste to spend money on something that won’t really be seen under a long dress and that you will only wear once. However, you are going to be on your feet all day so we highly recommend investing in a good quality, comfortable pair of shoes, which won’t ruin your day with sore feet. It really isn’t worth it! Good quality shoes don’t have to break the bank. Inquire at your local bridal shops about sales or ex samples or check out sites such as eBay, Preloved and Gumtree for a second hand pair.

2. Heel Height

This really depends on what you’re used to. Some brides wouldn’t leave the house without their favourite 4 inch heels, whereas others are happier sticking to a heel height of just a couple of inches. Whatever your preference don’t be tempted to go much higher than what you normally wear and what you’re used to. You want to glide down that aisle with elegance and grace, not hobble awkwardly and trip!

3. Shoe Size

There’s always that dilemma if you are in between sizes. Do you go up or down a size? We’d always recommend going up. Your feet will swell as the day goes on, which means they will begin to pinch if you opted for the smaller shoe. Shoes that are slightly too big can easily be amended with insoles and heel grips and can be removed later in the day when your feet swell to fit.

4. Wear Them In

You’ve probably done it before. Gone on a night out with a fabulous new pair of shoes, but within a matter of hours if not minutes, they are rubbing your feet. Even if your wedding shoes felt comfortable when you tried them on in the shop, we recommend breaking them in before your big day. Wear them around the house, to help soften them up and practice that all important walk!

If your wedding shoes are particularly slippy it may also be worth gently sanding the soles with sand paper to add a bit of grip. Think of all those first dance ‘You’ve Been Framed’ video’s you’ve seen…

5. Shoe Accessories

Make sure you have these must have shoe accessories for your wedding day!

Heel grips – if your feet keep slipping out the back

Gel insoles – to reduce the pain you get on the balls of your feet from standing up or dancing, for a long period of time.

Shoe protector spray – to protect your shoes from water marks and stains.

Clean heels – to stop you sinking in the grass!

6. Try on With Your Dress

There are a couple of reasons to try on your wedding shoes with your dress. Firstly you want to ensure that the colour and style suit the style of your bridal gown. If you have already been wedding dress shopping you will have come to realise that wedding dresses don’t just come in ivory or white. There’s diamond white, pale ivory, alabaster, blush, light gold…the list goes on! If you are matching your shoe colour to your dress you want to check that one of them isn’t significantly paler or darker than the other, as one of them may end up looking dirty. Obviously carrying your dress around with you whilst you shoe shop isn’t exactly convenient, so try and get hold of a swatch of the fabric that matches your dress. Either ask the bridal shop where you purchased your dress, to send you one or see if there is something small from the dress you can take such as a sash or removable strap.

Secondly it is important that you try your shoes on with your dress to check if the hem needs altering. Ideally you want the hem to sit just off the ground to ensure you don’t trip. Bare in mind that when you are walking down the aisle, you are going to have a bouquet in one hand and the person that is giving you away in the other. You won’t have hands free to hold up the front of your dress too.

On the other hand you don’t want your dress swinging around your ankles because your heels are too high. If you are concerned that the length of your dress might be too short with your heels there are a couple of things you can do. If you haven’t purchased your dress yet or you ordered it quite recently, ask your shop if there is the choice to order it in a longer length. If this isn’t possible, did you try the dress on with a hoop petticoat? If so this slightly shortens the length, so try it without. Your final option will have to be to rethink the height of your heels.

7. A Second Pair

If you just can’t resist those sky scraping heels, get you’re self a second pair of lower, more comfortable shoes for the evening. From pretty pumps, to flip flops and customised Converse, there are styles to suit everyone. Bare in mind however, that if you choose to lower your heel for the evening and you are wearing a full length dress, it will drag on the floor, so be careful not to trip!

We also love the idea of filling a box full of flip-flops for your guest to slip into in the evening, so that they are free to dance the night away in comfort!

If there is a chance of rain or snow it is worth having a second pair of shoes to get you from A to B so that you don’t ruin your smart bridal shoes. Cue the wedding wellies!!

8. A Pair to Wear Again

If you are resenting having to purchase a pair of shoes you’ll only wear once, just buy a pair that you will get use out of even after your wedding day. Just because your wedding dress is ivory, doesn’t mean your shoes have to be! Pick a pair in a colour or pattern that you’ll wear again and that matches your wedding theme and colour scheme. This is the opportunity to have some real fun and show off your personality. They also make great photos and talking point between guests!

Alternatively, choose a pair that can be dyed in your favourite colour after your big day so that they can be worn over and over again to make the most of your purchase.

Bridesmaid dress dislikes

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Being asked to be a bridesmaid for a close friend or relative is an honour. Being asked to publicly wear a bridesmaid dress you hate is not! Here’s how to decide on your bridesmaid dress and ensure everyone is happy on the big day!

Compromise is all about communication. Discussing the colours, styles, and costs in advance and then hitting the stores together goes a long way to making sure everything goes smoothly and both bride and bridesmaids are happy.

Safety in numbers

If you are really unhappy with what the bride wants you to wear, try talking to the other bridesmaids to get their view. If they are all happy, then you will probably have to grin and bear it. If not, try to find a gentle way to talk to the bride, and have alternative suggestions ready. Present possible solutions, not just problems. If you do get together with the others, make sure that the bride doesn’t feel as if you are ganging up on her.

Problems can arise if one bridesmaid is being difficult about the dress. It’s then up to the others, particularly the chief bridesmaid, to find out what the problem is and use some diplomacy to get things back on track.

Something to suit everyone

Choosing outfits to suit you all can be tricky if there are lots of bridesmaids, or a large age range. Adults won’t want to be dressed the same as children, and hopefully your bride will also bear in mind that the outfit(s) she picks need to flatter people of different ages (and sizes!) If she doesn’t, you have the option of dropping a few helpful hints.

It’s just one day…

While being a bridesmaid is a big deal, it is after all just one day. Before you risk falling out with the bride over her choice of outfit, you should ask yourself whether it is really worth upsetting her.

Friends help each other

Let’s face it, most brides want everybody to be happy on their special day, so it is unlikely that she will want you to wear something completely hideous. However, if you feel there is likely to be a clash then maybe you should think very carefully before you agree to be a bridesmaid in the first place.

On the other hand, if you think she is deliberately trying to make you look terrible, maybe she’s not quite the friend you thought she was…

While there are no hard-and-fast rules about bridesmaids’ outfits, the bottom line is that it is the bride’s day and it is likely that she will have some pretty clear ideas on the subject. So, how do you keep her happy and still get your point across?

Get involved

If you are worried that the bride might dress you like a meringue, get involved in the process from the outset. This doesn’t mean forcing your ideas on her, but why not suggest a girls’ night in with some wine and wedding magazines, and gently let her know what delights (and horrifies) you?

If there are to be several of you, arrange a shopping day early on (with the bride of course!) and try on a wide range of outfits. It will soon become clear what does and doesn’t work for you all. If one bridesmaid lives a long way away, email or text her pictures of different styles and get her opinion.

Another alternative you could suggest to the bride if you all live a long way apart is that she provides the material and you have dresses made in the same fabric, but different styles, which is actually the way bridesmaids’ outfits were traditionally made.

Be constructive

Think carefully about any objections before voicing them to the bride, and consider whether they are actually valid.

For example, a lifelong aversion to peach taffeta is really not a good enough reason to upset the bride. On the other hand, if you are allergic to a certain fabric it’s reasonable that you avoid an outfit that is going to cause you discomfort.

Equally, just because you live in trainers it doesn’t mean you should complain at having to sport stilettos for the day. However, if you really hate your legs but the bride wants you in a mini skirt, then it’s worth trying to reach some compromise.