Church Wedding

With more UK wedding venues available than ever, saying your vows in a church is no longer the norm. But for many couples, a church wedding is still an essential and traditional part of the big day.

So with around a third of UK couples still choosing a religious ceremony, here’s our beginner’s guide to booking a wedding ceremony in church:

What are the legal requirements for a church wedding?

Couples must be 18 to marry without their parents’ consent in England, Wales and Northern Ireland, or 16 with their approval. The ceremony must take place between 8am and 6pm, witnessed by two people.

In Scotland it’s legal to marry from 16 without consent and at any time of day, although you do still require two witnesses.

Most marriages require banns to be published before the wedding, signifying your intention to marry. These need to be read out in the parish where each of you lives, as well as the church where you’ll be married for three Sundays during the three months before the wedding.

If there isn’t enough time for this, you can apply for a license costing from £200, which you may also need if one of the couple isn’t British or lives outside England. In Scotland, you need to give 15 days’ notice with the local registrar.

NB: Marriage and Civil Partnership laws are changing from March 2015 when it comes to giving notice. Find out more!

Are the rules different in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland?

Yes — Scotland in particular has different laws than England and Wales, while there are stricter residency requirements in Northern Ireland. Catholic churches also differ, for example, needing a dispensation if one person is not Catholic but not requiring the banns to be read.

Can I get married in any church?

For a ceremony in England and Wales, you can marry in any church if you meet one of several conditions: that either of you has lived or attended services in the parish for at least six months, was baptized or prepared for confirmation there, that one of your parents or grandparents was married in the parish, or one of your parents has lived or attended services there for at least six months after you were born. If you’ve recently moved, you’ll be eligible to marry in your new parish too.

In Scotland, there are no residency requirements so you can marry in any church you choose. In practice, it may depend on availability and the individual minister who’s likely to want to meet couples who aren’t members of the church beforehand.

In Northern Ireland, one of the couple must be resident in the district where you plan to marry for at least 14 days before being eligible, unless you apply for a special licence

Do I have to attend church before I can get married there?

Not for a Church of England ceremony, although if your heart is set on marrying in a church where you have no connections, attending services for six months — even a single service each month — would allow this.

Do I have to be religious to have a church wedding?

Not necessarily. The Church of England says anyone is “welcome to have a Church of England wedding, regardless of your beliefs… as vicars understand that spiritual beliefs are complex and varied”.

How far in advance should I book a UK church ceremony?

Churches can become booked up several months in advance, so ask the vicar or church office as early as possible, especially for popular dates. Many churches won’t arrange weddings during Lent, although this doesn’t apply to Catholic ceremonies.

How much will a church ceremony cost?

The legal fee for marrying in 2015 costs £486 in England and around £500 in Wales, which covers expenses for calling the banns, the certificate, vicar and church. Extras such as having an organist, bells, choir or flowers — as well as heating — will incur an additional cost. In Scotland and Northern Ireland there are no fixed costs.

Can I use my own vows in church?

Not in England and Wales, where legally no part of the wedding vows can be changed. However it’s possible to include poems, readings or songs which have a special significance in the service, depending on the individual vicar. In Scotland, you can vary the traditional forms or write your own with the minister’s approval.

Can I decorate a church with my own flowers?

Yes. Most churches will be able to recommend someone, but you can also use your own florist. It’s worth discussing any plans for large displays with the vicar to check they won’t cause any problems during the ceremony.

What happens during a church wedding rehearsal?

The rehearsal is a chance for the bride and groom, as well as bridesmaids, the best man and any family and friends who are involved in the ceremony, to run through the service and make sure everyone knows what to expect.

Will my guests be allowed to throw confetti outside the church?

The rules on throwing confetti vary from church to church so it’s worth asking whether or not confetti is allowed so that you can inform your guests in advance. If confetti is not allowed then the church might allow a natural or bio-degradable substitute.

Can I have my reception in the church hall?

Yes, although it depends on the individual church and their facilities. However you can also arrange the reception at another venue if you prefer.

To have and to hold

When planning a wedding there’s no doubt about it, in this day and age more and more couples are choosing to write their own wedding vows rather than follow the traditional verse. If you’re a modern man or woman, it probably makes sense, with the traditional vows perhaps being a bit too traditional in their tone, while many couples like to tailor their words to their partner in a more personal manner. With that in mind, here are a few tips!

Read Wedding Vows Online

We don’t mean the traditional words – though they could help too – but vows written by other modern couples! You can either watch them on YouTube or have a read through a variety of wedding sites. Certain phrases or ideas might be too good to pass up!

Agree on a Tone

This is a must because you don’t want to exchange vows for the first time at the altar, with one of you opting for a deadly serious tone and the other joking about the hilarity of the first date jitters. Pick a tone between you and stick to it. References to parts of the relationship are a nice idea, but ensure that you aren’t saying things to one another that your partner doesn’t want to be heard in front of friends and family…

Have a Ponder

What makes your relationship special? How do you view the person that you’re going to marry? Can you explain how they make you feel in just three words? What inspires you? What are you going to accomplish together? What difficulties have you faced as a couple? What does the future hold? These are all questions that can help when it comes to writing your wedding vows. Write the answers and then combine these thoughts into something coherent for the big day.

Think of a Promise

If you decided to google ‘define vows’, you’ll find that a vow is described as ‘a solemn promise’. As such, your vows shouldn’t just be a vivid description of how much you love the person in front of you but a moment to promise something to them, throughout your forthcoming wedded lives. “To love and to hold…” is of course the most famous traditional line, but we think you can come up with something just as good.

Don’t go on and on…and on…

…and on. A wedding is all about two people coming together and yes, it should be a given that you love each other very much, but unless you’re a top quality poet who’s won a Nobel Prize for your grasp of literary verse, it’s often best to keep your vows short and to the point. Nobody wants to feel that the most important of the wedding is dragging on and often, shorter is better (just like the wedding speeches!) with more meaningful choice words winning out over long, rambling declarations of love each and every time.

Enjoy it!

Our final tip isn’t so much a tip as a simple hope: Enjoy it! This is the only time you’ll get to say how you feel to your partner with all eyes on you. You’re marrying the love of your life! Make it special and bask in the occasion.

Good luck!

 

Keep the kids entertained

When planning a wedding here are a number of ideas to ensure that if yours isn’t a child-friendly day, that the kids are entertained throughout the speeches and beyond.

Balloon Modellers

There are a number of fun balloon modellers to hire that can entertain children in a variety of ways. Not just for children’s parties, these superb artists can make pretty much anything out of their very special balloons. Whether a child would like a dog or perhaps even a hat ‘made’ from Pineapple and other delights, our balloon modellers are more than up to the task. Unlike other children’s entertainment, you might just find your adult guests wanting to get involved as well!

Petting Zoo

The best thing about hiring a petting zoo is that everybody can get involved and enjoy having animals at your wedding. Just like balloon modellers, this idea is perfect for guests both young and old, with a particular highlight being Tony the Pony (above, dressed as a unicorn). Children will be in their element as they pet the animals inside the enclosure and they may just be allowed to feed them as well! Lovely.

Comedian

Perfect for deploying during the wedding speeches, hiring a children’s comedian can entertain the kids in another room whilst their parents are listening to the best man’s various anecdotes about the groom. A Comedian is hugely popular for a children’s entertainer with family friendly jokes and routines that are sure to have the kids in fits of laughter.

Face Painting

A simple and traditional idea and one that always goes down brilliantly, face painting is a hugely popular affair at every event and wedding. Whether children would like to go for a tiger look or a butterfly, there are numerous options available to ensure that every single child is happy on your special day.

Choosing your wedding guests

1. Think about your overall event size. If you’re having a 25-person or less wedding, having a large wedding party would just be awkward. Scale down your party in accordance with your event size.

2. Are you having a formal or casual wedding? For the most part, casual weddings are more suited to smaller wedding parties, where formal weddings can support a larger one.

3. Try to keep it balanced. While it’s perfectly fine to have more women than men (or vice versa) in your wedding party, do your best to keep it close to balanced so it doesn’t look odd in wedding photos. If you find yourself with a large difference, consider narrowing down your wedding party to just one or two on each side to keep it under control.

4. Start with siblings. Especially if you’re having a small wedding party, invite siblings before you invite friends. Your family has always and will always be a part of your lives, so they should come first.

5. Consider their circumstances. Being in a wedding party requires a significant investment of time and money. Make sure that your invitation to serve as a wedding attendant won’t be a hardship on anyone.

6. Remember there are other ways to honour people. If you have a lot of people you want to stand up for you at your wedding but there isn’t room in the wedding party, consider inviting people to serve as ushers, guest book attendants, gift collectors, speakers, singers, or other important roles on your special day instead.

7. Pick people you can rely on. Your wedding party is meant to include people who do more than just stand beside you and smile for pictures. You’ll need to rely on them for any number of things before and during the wedding. Choose your party accordingly.

8. Consider how long you’ve known them. Once you’ve asked your family, it’s time to consider which friends you’d like to ask to stand up for you. I recommend beginning with the friends you’ve known the longest, the ones who have been there with you through thick or thin. Those are the friends who are most likely to help you out when you need it, and who will remain a part of your life after the wedding.

 

Buying your Groom a gift

Seeing as you’ll be wearing your beautiful new wedding dress, and likely new jewellery and shoes, it’s only fair that your groom gets a little something special on the wedding day – apart from the gift of marrying you, of course! There are traditional options for the groom’s gift the morning of the wedding, but never underestimate the appeal of something small but meaningful to your man.

When it comes to planning a wedding, sometimes it’s easy to forget that it’s not just the bride who likes a little romance – a surprise gift for the groom on the wedding morning can set the mood for the day and make him feel loved and appreciated. Here are some of our top picks for grooms’ gifts!

Buying something that reflects his hobbies is always a good idea – if he’s mad about football, why not buy him a season ticket to watch his favourite team play? If he loves a certain band, buy him tickets to see their live concert. It may seem obvious, but these touches will show your husband-to-be just what you mean to him.

Your gift doesn’t need to cost the earth, either. Your man will most likely be feeling a little jittery before the ceremony, so why not send him a bottle of whiskey and a box of cigars to share with his groomsmen and to calm his nerves?

If you want something traditional that you know your groom will love, then you can’t go far wrong with a watch. If he’s an old-school type, then a pocket watch would be a great choice – particularly if you engrave it with his initials or the date of your wedding. For the more modern groom, a wrist watch is the perfect gift for the morning of the wedding. Attach a note with the time of the ceremony (along the lines of ‘See you at 1pm!’) for a personal touch.

Many brides will buy their grooms cufflinks for the big day, as they’re a gift that can be worn on the wedding day and for many years to come – plus they’re easy to personalise! Engrave them with your wedding date and he’ll never forget your anniversary!

If you and your husband-to-be are equally house-proud, then getting something that you can display for all your house guests to see is a sweet idea. We love this framed record of your first dance song – this would be a particularly great gift if your man is a music buff.

If you want to treat your groom to something a little saucy, then you should definitely consider booking in for a boudoir photoshoot. Companies do sexy shoots especially for brides, and package the photographs in a gorgeous keepsake album for you and your groom. Leave it in his bedroom with a note reading ‘Meet me at the altar!’ and he’s sure to be feeling ready for the honeymoon

 

When a loved one can’t make it

Of course it’ll be the happiest day of your life, with the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with, surrounded by the people you love the most. But during this special day you’re allowed to feel a little bit sad, as you remember your nearest and dearest who can’t share the celebrations with you.

You want them to be a part of your day, not to detract from the spirit of it. Some brides have photos tied with a ribbon to their wedding bouquet, or hear stories about emotional speeches made by the bride. You don’t have to make a big statement if it’s going to turn you into a blubbering wreck, there are lots of more subtle but equally poignant ways to remember loved ones who have passed away…

Dedicate a reading

Why not have a close family member dedicate a special reading to lost loved ones? Personally, we like this poem by an unknown author…

If Roses Grow in Heaven

If Roses grow in Heaven,

Lord please pick a bunch for me,

Place them in my Mother’s arms

And tell her they’re from me.

Tell her I love her and miss her,

And when she turns to smile,

Place a kiss upon her cheek

And hold her for awhile.

Because remembering her is easy,

I do it every day,

But there’s an ache within my heart

Because I am missing her today.

This poem is good for anyone else who you want to remember on your big day…

Someone is missing

Let this candle be a loving reminder

that someone is missing today,

Someone our hearts still hold on to,

As we travel along life’s way.

Someone who made life so special,

for all those who gather here,

Someone who won’t be forgotten,

But cherished from year to year.

And now as we pause to remember,

Let us all fondly recall,

how dearly each of us loved him,

and oh… how he loved us all!

 

Make your own decorations

You don’t have to spend a fortune planing a wedding on decorations. Have a go at a project today and give your day a personal touch with handmade creations…

Fabulous fans

How about making some brightly coloured pinwheels for your marquee reception. They add a real pop of colour to the venue, but if you want a softer, more subtle look, try pastel shaded pom poms.

Vintage bunting

You could use pastel coloured cloths and vintage style bunting to pretty up your vintage tea party reception. You can pick up table cloths pretty cheaply on eBay to get a similar look.

3D table numbers

Make cardboard 3D table numbers and then cover them in pretty, shabby chic style fabric. A simple and effective idea that you can easily make at home with old off-cuts of fabric. Mix up the patterns and colours for an eclectic look.

Hanging old pictures around your reception wedding venue is a sure-fire way to get guests talking. Personalise the room with photographs of all your loved ones, then let guests find their faces. You could adapt this for use in your table plan, too.

Pretty pom poms

Draw your guests’ eyes upwards with a ceiling full of paper pom poms and lanterns dangling from the rafters. This year’s hottest decorations are to be found on the ceiling.

Rustic jars

Ask your friends and family to keep all of their old jam jars as they make cute arrangements for a rustic theme. Mix and match different shapes and sizes and fill them with cheap wedding flowers like gypsophila for a feminine, just-picked-from-the-garden look.

Trend alert!

This potted plant table plan is such a lovely idea, perfect for a country themed wedding. You can pot them up yourself, use them as a table plan, and then hand them out as thank you gifts at the end of the night. Double DIY delight

Top table runners

Long trestle-style tables work brilliantly with table runners down the middle – go for gingham if you’re planning a country-style celebration like this couple or hessian if you want a more rustic look. A striking runner will mean you won’t have to go overboard with your wedding flowers, either.

 

Same sex wedding ideas

With same sex Weddings now legalised, this is a cause for a double celebration, make it loud and be proud. Here are a few ideas on how to celebrate such a wonderful Wedding such as this!!

When it comes to planning a wedding, it’s all about representing the couple’s style and personality — and same-sex weddings are no different. With the law changing in favour of marriage and equality, we’re feeling especially inspired to share some gorgeous wedding-planning ideas for gay and lesbian couples.

We’ve rounded up a few décor ideas that provide a unique twist on traditional wedding details:

  • Kick off the festivities with a personalized billboard sign, a fun way to welcome your guests — and get them excited for the nuptials ahead!

  • Add a twist to traditional ceremony seating with a tongue-in-cheek sign pointing guests to choose a seat and not a side (either way it’s for a bride!).

  • Want to show off your newlywed status in style? Opt for matching ‘Groom and Groom chair designs adorned with greenery or display whimsical “Bride” and “Bride” laser-cut letters in front of your handcrafted sweets.

  • You can also add a humorous — and elegant! — upgrade to the groom’s’ cake with tiered chocolate cupcakes adorned with mini bowties and top hats.

  • For brides, go for simple “Hers” and “Hers” calligraphed signs in front of delicious, non-traditional wedding cakes. And as the night’s celebration comes to a close, send off your guests with personalized canvas totes that read “Love is Love” — a perfect closing to an unforgettable night!

Whether you’re sticking to tradition or going all-out with personalised details celebrate love with

these creative ideas that make for a truly unique same-sex wedding!!

Welcome your wedding guests with a sign with big personality — like a billboard with your wedding-day phrase!

 

Should you invite work colleagues?

When planning a wedding, the age old question of what to do about inviting work colleagues to your wedding is one that troubles many engaged couples time and time again. For most of us, we spend a lot of time around our work colleagues and have grown a close relationship with a number of them, but there is often others you may not be as close to for one reason or another. So how do you strike the balance between inviting who you want to without inadvertently offending the others?

So when it comes to your wedding day, is there a particular party you agree with or are you still a little confused on the right way to do things?  The first thing you need to think about is that there are no rules, just common sense in relation to the work situation you personally have. Only you will really know what is acceptable in your workplace but here are a few things to consider…

Think about the size of your office

Do you work for a large corporate or a smaller regional office, shop or start up? Have a think about the dynamics in your workplace and how closely you work alongside your colleagues. If the whole company works in real proximity to one another, it makes sense to not just exclude one or two people from proceedings but if you work solely in a team that is one of many, then perhaps consider just inviting your team and your boss. As we say, it’s common sense so just assess the situation appropriately.

Remember, they don’t need to come for the whole wedding

If you’re worried from a budget and space point of view, then there is absolutely no harm in just inviting them to the wedding entertainment evening do. Again, if there are some colleagues you are closer to than others, then invite them to the ceremony and reception and then make it a more open invite to the others for the evening after dinner and speeches.

Consider whether your office is formal and traditional

Traditionally in larger and more corporate companies it is generally expected that you will invite your boss or bosses, especially if you are inviting your co-workers. If you know your office is a lot more relaxed, then again assess the situation and think about how close work in relation to your boss on a day to day basis.

Ask around to see what others did

Hopefully for you, there will be people who have got married before you in the office who you can quiz on what they did. If there is a recurring theme of whether they invited everyone or just a very selective few, then consider following suit.

They’ll probably need a plus one

If your work colleague is married, engaged or in a long term relationship, then it’s likely they’ll need to have a plus one. Again this is entirely up to you but if you are offering plus ones to the rest of your guests, it makes sense that they should have one too.

If you choose to be selective, don’t shout about it

It is totally okay to choose just a few colleagues and many people do, so you shouldn’t feel guilty about it. But if you’re going to do so – don’t make your wedding a common topic of conversation in the office, especially if there’s just one or two people you’re not inviting. You want to be as subtle as possible to avoid getting people’s feelings hurt.

Keep children entertained at your wedding

Paper Chase

Download colouring pages, word searches, crosswords, spot the difference from the internet, make sure you give out with crayons or coloured pencils to avoid mess to clothes and tableware.

Silent Scavenger Hunt

Create a tick sheet of things to listen out for or observe during the wedding – what colour are the bridesmaids’ dresses, wedding flowers, what songs were sung, did the best man remember the rings, how many were wearing hats.

Book Corner

Have a range of books to cover differing ages of children at weddings. Put on tables or set up in a corner with bean bags – great for sleepy ones later in the evening too.

Box of Tricks

Create boxes of simple toys such as bubbles, board games (travel ones are cheaper and smaller), jigsaws, and play dough – hassle free distractions for children without the need for too much adult help.

Children Only Room

Create a child-only space with TVs/DVD players, games consoles, books and board games. Children at weddings also love dressing up, craft activities/painting, sand trays and play dough.

VIP

Create tasks for children involved in the wedding to earn VIP badges – roles can range from marshalling guests to the right place to holding their wedding bouquet up the right way for younger bridesmaids.

Outdoor Games

Organise walks around the grounds or do nature searches using small bags to collect what is found. Also provide simple sports equipment such as balls, Frisbees, or cricket sets.

Entertainer

Wedding entertainers for children are a more expensive option when planning your wedding to go smoothly. Although they’ll keep little ones busy, you will need to provide another room for the performance. Be aware, though, that unlike a crèche, parents will still be responsible for supervision of their children.

Babysitters

Babysitters work well if the wedding venue is being held in a hotel. The babysitters can look after individual children or families in their hotel rooms bringing some basic equipment and also putting the children to bed.

Mobile Crèche

The most expensive option but it really is the ultimate answer, and many opt to share the costs with parents. A team will bring all equipment; will be responsible for your children and their entertainment for the whole wedding and even into the night with a sleepover.