Category Archives: Tradition

Jewish Wedding Traditions

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If you’re going to have a traditional Jewish wedding, you may be feeling overwhelmed. There are many traditions to uphold, but they are also lots of fun! So don’t worry. From the kidushin to the chuppah, we’ve got you covered.

Before the Ceremony

The ceremony for a traditional Jewish wedding generally takes place after sundown on Saturdays, or any time on Sundays. The bride and groom are not allowed to eat until after the ceremony is over.

Before the wedding takes place, the ketubah is signed by the groom, in the company of two witnesses. This is a legally binding Jewish contract, and outlines what the groom is expected to give the bride in the marriage. This includes food, clothing, marital relations, friendship, love, and communication, and outlines that all of these things are necessary to a happy union. Many ketubahs are beautiful pieces of art and are framed and hung in the home.

Next, in a tradition known as badeken, the bride’s face is veiled (usually by the groom) and a prayer is said for her. The couple hasn’t seen each other in at least 24 hours (sometimes up to 7 days) at this point, so it’s usually an emotional moment for both the bride and groom.
During the Ceremony

The ceremony takes place under a chuppah, or wedding canopy, and is officiated by a rabbi. The chuppah symbolizes the new home that the bride and groom will build together. When the ceremony is starting, the groom is led into the chuppah by the two fathers, while the bride is led by the two mothers, in a tradition called unterfirers. Finally, the bride circles the groom seven times when she arrives at the chuppah. This may come from Jeremiah 31:22 which says “A woman shall surround a man.” The number seven is said to mean perfection or completeness in the Bible.

A traditional chuppah where the Jewish bride and groom will take their vows.

A traditional Jewish wedding has two distinct parts, with the first known as the erusin (betrothal) or kiddushin (holiness). First, two blessings are given before the betrothal. The first is over a cup of wine, which the couple then tastes. The second is the betrothal blessing. Next, the groom is required to give something of value to the bride (usually a ring). The ring should be a plain gold band, to symbolize the simplicity and purity of their love. Lastly, they both exchange rings and vows.

In some ceremonies, the ketubah is read out loud in traditional Aramaic text and given to the bride to keep for the rest of her life. Following that, the second part of the ceremony begins. This is known as the nissuin, and contains seven blessings that are meant to highlight the new partnership and commitment. The blessings are given by the rabbi, or by individuals who are specially selected. To be selected to recite a blessing is a big honour in this ceremony. After the blessings, the groom drinks from the cup of wine, and the bride follows suit.

The ketubah is presented to the bride as a promise from the groom.

Finally comes the part that almost everyone is familiar with…the breaking of the glass. After the rings and blessings, the groom crushes the glass (usually wrapped in cloth) with his right foot and guests shout “Mazel tov!” which means “congratulations.” In some contemporary weddings, a light bulb is used instead since it’s easier to break. This signifies that the ceremony is over and is greeted with loud cheers and applause from the crowd.

After the Ceremony

In order to complete the ceremony, seclusion is necessary, so yichud is practiced. This means leaving the bride and groom alone for 10-20 minutes in a room. It can take place in any room, from the rabbi’s study to a synagogue classroom. Husband and wife take some time away from family and friends to reflect on their new vows and the ceremony.

Now the celebration can begin! Food is served as well, so this is a great time to hire a Kosher Caterer that’s familiar with traditional Jewish dishes. Several special dances are customary in Jewish weddings, with the hora being most recognized. The bride and groom are raised on chairs for anywhere from 10-30 minutes, depending on the energy from the crowd. DJs or Party Bands are great to have on-hand to get the party started and keep the crowd excited.

In short, a Jewish wedding is all about love, family, and commitment. They’re a beautiful blend of tradition and romance, and end with a huge party. What a perfect day!

A Father’s speech

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Ask any public speaker what their biggest fear is, and they’ll pretty much always say it’s forgetting where they are in their speech. Fumbling over your words and getting a bit lost is nothing to be ashamed of, provided you can make a quick recovery and get back on track okay. Take your speech on cue cards with bullet-pointed reminders of what you want to talk about, rather than printing it all out in full. This will give you a more natural delivery, and will save you having to read through several paragraphs to find your place after getting lost.

If you do get stuck, use a moment to clear your throat, take a drink of water or give your daughter a kiss. These moments might seem a lifetime to you, but will feel like a natural pause to your audience, and will give you the breathing space you need to get things back on track. Take your time, don’t panic and try to enjoy your moment of fame.

Traditionally, at the reception, the bride’s father is the first one to make a speech to the wedding guests. Closely followed by the best man and groom, the father of the bride is usually seen as a bit of a warm-up act, and something to be endured rather than enjoyed. However, with a little effort you can make sure your moment in the spotlight is something to be remembered.

Whether you intend to make it short and sweet, or to really reap the benefits of the spotlight, your speech will need to contain some basic elements if it is to be in keeping with tradition.

You need to introduce yourself, but it doesn’t have to be reminiscent of an AA meeting. Tell them your name and maybe crack a small joke to make yourself feel relaxed.

Make a formal welcome to everyone, and thank them for coming. Try to mention, in particular, the bride’s mother and the groom’s parents too.

Formally welcome the groom to your family, in any way you feel appropriate. You can mention how you felt about him when you first met him, or a moment when you’ve been particularly glad he’s around.

As the elder speaker at the wedding, you should impart some of your wisdom to the happy couple about maintaining a healthy marriage or living a happy life. This is also a good place to throw in some jokes about wives, weddings or life in general, just as long as it doesn’t upset your wife!

Finish up by asking everyone to stand and raise a glass to the happy couple. No doubt, the best man will do something similar at the end of his speech too, but it’s the traditional way to close yours.

Jokes are a great way to break the ice and loosen up the crowd, but don’t be too focused on being funny. You’re the elder statesman of the speakers today, so you can afford to be a bit more conservative in your words. That doesn’t mean you have to be full though; a few jibes at the expense of the wedding or your daughter’s love of spending money are fine, just don’t go too close to the bone. Leave it to the best man to really roast up the groom, and focus on welcoming your new son-in-law to the family and toasting the happy couple.

Wedding cake ideas

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The cake is quite often the thing most people look forward to at a wedding celebration. After all, it’s not a reception without a cake cutting ceremony! These days though there are so many options for cakes. You can have red velvet, lemon meringue, chocolate, marble, carrot, or maybe traditional vanilla. Others may choose to divert from the traditional cake, choosing cupcakes, truffles, chocolate confections, cookies, or a dessert buffet (for those who just can’t decide!). With all these options how does one even begin?

1. Search for the Right Bakery

Choosing a bakery is tough. It can be even tougher if you have a special need – glucose-free, lactose-free, vegan, Kosher, organic, etc. Luckily more bakeries are becoming aware of allergies or special needs and offer delicious alternatives.  Do a quick search for a cake designer in your area who makes a product to your specification.

2. Choose Your Style

Are you a cupcake fan? Or are you a chocolate lover at heart? Or does a traditional tiered wedding cake tickle your fancy? Cupcake towers are becoming more and more popular at birthdays, weddings, baby showers, and more. This takes the hassle out of cutting the cake into equal-sized pieces! Cakes can come in all shapes and sizes these days. Bakeries and cake designers can sculpt a cake into a castle, sports arena, animal, musical instrument, and anything else you can come up with! You can go this route for a birthday cake to match the cake with the birthday person’s favourite hobby. A designer’s ability to do this also is beneficial for groom’s cakes. A dessert buffet is always a fun route to go, as well. You can have all your favourite goodies in one place from a chocolate fountain and truffles to fruit tart and pastries.

3. Find Your Filling

Whether you go with a cake or cupcakes, you then must decide the type, filling, and frosting. So many decisions! However, this is where the yummy part begins – cake tastings! On top of the type of cake, such as red velvet, chocolate, or carrot, you also have the option of having a filling. Fillings can be in the form of fruit, mousse, and cream cheese, just to name a few. Schedule a tasting with your baker to decide which one is just right for you.

Above all, have fun with your cake! A little indulgence never hurt anyone, especially on a day of celebration!

Ceremony music tips

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There are literally millions of pieces of modern wedding music that don’t have any religious association. When wedding planning, most people choose classical music for your ceremony and have lighter pop music during your drinks reception.

Consider choosing two contrasting pieces of music that are moderate length. The first should be contemplative while the guests enter and the second could hint at the celebrations to follow the ceremony.

You are not permitted to have any music during a Civil Ceremony that is overtly religious. Though rules are somewhat more relaxed than in the past, your Registrar will advise and vet your choices.

Choose something celebratory, when your guests leave, that can be heard alongside the happy throng.

If you have the budget, then live wedding music will feel much more personal and special. Harps, string quartets and pianists are the most popular choices. They can also stay at your reception afterwards during your wedding photographs, drinks and canapés.

If you find a title you like on a modern wedding music CD or a website, then make sure you check the title and composer with another couple of similar sources to make sure it is correct.

Modern wedding music for your ceremony

  • Bridal March from ‘Lohengrin’ (Here comes the Bride) – Wagner

  • Canon in D – Pachelbel

  • Trumpet Voluntary – Jeremiah Clarke

  • Arrival of the Queen of Sheba – G F Handel

  • Ave Maria – J S Bach/C Gounod

  • Adagio – Albinoni arr. Giazotto

  • Panis Angelicus – C Franck

  • Wedding March – ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream’ – Mendelssohn

  • Toccata from Organ Symphony no 5- C M Widor

  • Alla Danza / Hornpipe from ‘Water Music’ – G F Handel

For the Stag party

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If your man is looking for something a little bit more adventurous than a night on the tiles, here are a few idea and not a stripper in sight!!

Bungee run

If the groom is a big kid at heart, this classic event will take him right back to his childhood. Now he and his mates are all ‘grown up,’ no doubt there’ll be an added element of competition. The point of the event is to run as far as possible before the bungee hurls you backwards. In the process, the competitors have to place a baton as far along the belt as possible. The bouncy castle arena makes the going unstable as the guys run for the end, and this will inevitably tee up some quality tumbles.

The Bull Run

Available to stags in Madrid, this event takes the bull by the horns and pits the guys against some terrifying beasts. Running with the bulls is one of the most famous events in Europe, and it’s a sensational idea for a stag party. The event is steeped in tradition and the experiences on offer come with either a mentor or a tutor to ensure both your safety, as well as that of the animals.

This is a great way to embrace the culture of another country in a completely fun and novel way. Events come with a Spanish meal, so your groom will have enough energy to get out of the way of the horns!

Sumo Wrestling

This fun-fuelled event pits fellow stag group members against each other.  The guys are separated into two teams and thrown into head-to-head competition. The winning team will be determined by the amount of wins they get under their extremely large belts. In some locations you can theme your evening with a trip to a Japanese restaurant, where sake will undoubtedly be on the menu.

The Kidnap

This is quite extreme so you really have to know the groom well enough to ensure that he would appreciate this. Available in Eastern Europe, the event involves a group of ‘soldiers’ ambushing the group and hijacking the stag, and whoever else is in the dark, at (fake) gun point and bundling them into the back of a van, where they are then taken off to a derelict prison. After some intimidation through mock torture, they reveal the hoax and let everyone go. 

An alternative scenario is where the stag is handcuffed and a bag is thrown over his head. He’s then bundled into the back of a car and taken away. When they stop, he is walked into a building where he is then chained to a pole. The bag is then removed to reveal a lap dance club and the rest of the group, who are probably pretty happy with themselves by this point.

This is not for the faint-hearted, but that’s the whole point of these alternatives.  

Jobs for the Father of the Bride

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When planning the perfect wedding, the father of the bride duties can sometimes be a neglected part of the big day and it’s easy to put their priorities on the back-burner and concentrate on different priorities. However, he’s a big part of your wedding day and should be made to feel like it. Here are some top tips to get him involved in your big day!

Father of the bride duties

  • Traditionally the father of the bride pays for the majority of the wedding, although the groom’s family are likely to contribute.
  • Ensuring that wedding cars arrive on time.
  • Getting the bride to the ceremony on time. The father’s main job on the day is to ensure that his daughter arrives at the ceremony in good time.
  • At church ceremonies the father of the bride escorts his daughter down the aisle before handing her over to her groom. This is a tradition that many fathers and brides choose to keep at civil marriages.
  • The father of the bride should thank guests for coming, offer some humorous and touching stories about his daughter’s life, and finally welcome his son-in-law in to the family. Then he offers a toast to the bride and groom.
  • The bride’s parents are the hosts of the wedding breakfast and reception. In a receiving line your mum and dad are traditionally the first two people to greet guests. Afterwards, your dad should mingle, and make sure that everyone has a full glass.
  • Traditionally last to leave, the father of the bride ensures that everyone leaves the venue safely, all suppliers are paid and happy, and makes sure that any wedding gifts and valuables are removed and stored safely.

Great garden games for your wedding

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Gone are the days when garden games were reserved for children at school summer fetes. Brides and grooms are choosing to include garden games in their big day more and more, especially if their nuptials are planned for the Spring or Summer. As country house, barn and outdoor wedding venues continue to gain popularity, more couples have the luxury of outdoor space. Some use it simply for photographs, but we’re taking inspiration from many of our real brides and grooms to show you six of our favourite quirky garden games.

We think they are some of the best ways to make the most of your spacious surroundings and to make your reception as fun as possible for as many people as possible, adults and children alike!

Everyone loves the chance to hit the piñata and nab the goodies inside! It might not be your first thought when it comes to garden games, but it will definitely be remembered.

Take a trip down memory lane and enjoy the nostalgia of old school sport’s day activities. This sack race is the perfect option for a group of groomsmen and will make for some hilarious photos.

If you’ve chosen a country wedding venue, you can’t miss this one. Match your wellies to your reception colours or choose classic ivory to give welly hurling a little wedding flair.

If there’s one thing we’ve seen a lot of in real weddings recently, it’s space hoppers! It turns out that adults, often egged on by guests and a few glasses of fizz, love the chance to be a child again, racing each other on space hoppers. This includes suitable dresses ladies (and brides!), too!

No quintessentially English or traditional wedding is complete without a spot of croquet on the lawn. It’s a great ice breaker for guests who don’t yet know each other and can be enjoyed by grown-ups and children alike.

Sixth on our list of oh-so awesome garden games is table football. While it may be pictured inside a marquee here, you could definitely take the table outside, so we think it definitely still counts. Bring out the competitive side in your guests with a quick game between the ceremony and the wedding breakfast.

Church Weddings

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With around a third of UK couples still choosing a religious ceremony, here’s our beginner’s guide to planning a wedding ceremony in church: 

What are the legal requirements for a church wedding?

Couples must be 18 to marry without their parents’ consent in England, Wales and Northern Ireland, or 16 with their approval. The ceremony must take place between 8am and 6pm, witnessed by two people.

In Scotland it’s legal to marry from 16 without consent and at any time of day, although you do still require two witnesses.

Most marriages require banns to be published before the wedding, signifying your intention to marry. These need to be read out in the parish where each of you lives, as well as the church where you’ll be married for three Sundays during the three months before the wedding.

If there isn’t enough time for this, you can apply for a license costing from £200, which you may also need if one of the couple isn’t British or lives outside England. In Scotland, you need to give 15 days’ notice with the local registrar. 

NB: Marriage and Civil Partnership laws are changing from March 2015 when it comes to giving notice. Find out more!

Are the rules different in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland?

Yes — Scotland in particular has different laws than England and Wales, while there are stricter residency requirements in Northern Ireland. Catholic churches also differ, for example, needing a dispensation if one person is not Catholic but not requiring the banns to be read.

Can I get married in any church?

For a ceremony in England and Wales, you can marry in any church if you meet one of several conditions: that either of you has lived or attended services in the parish for at least six months, was baptized or prepared for confirmation there, that one of your parents or grandparents was married in the parish, or one of your parents has lived or attended services there for at least six months after you were born. If you’ve recently moved, you’ll be eligible to marry in your new parish too.

In Scotland, there are no residency requirements so you can marry in any church you choose. In practice, it may depend on availability and the individual minister who’s likely to want to meet couples who aren’t members of the church beforehand.

In Northern Ireland, one of the couple must be resident in the district where you plan to marry for at least 14 days before being eligible, unless you apply for a special licence

Do I have to attend church before I can get married there?

Not for a Church of England ceremony, although if your heart is set on marrying in a church where you have no connections, attending services for six months — even a single service each month — would allow this.

Do I have to be religious to have a church wedding?

Not necessarily. The Church of England says anyone is “welcome to have a Church of England wedding, regardless of your beliefs… as vicars understand that spiritual beliefs are complex and varied”.

How far in advance should I book a UK church ceremony?

Churches can become booked up several months in advance, so ask the vicar or church office as early as possible, especially for popular dates. Many churches won’t arrange weddings during Lent, although this doesn’t apply to Catholic ceremonies.

How much will a church ceremony cost?

The legal fee for marrying in 2016 costs £486 in England and around £500 in Wales, which covers expenses for calling the banns, the certificate, vicar and church. Extras such as having an organist, bells, choir or flowers — as well as heating — will incur an additional cost. In Scotland and Northern Ireland there are no fixed costs.

Can I use my own vows in church?

Not in England and Wales, where legally no part of the wedding vows can be changed. However, it’s possible to include poems, readings or songs which have a special significance in the service, depending on the individual vicar. In Scotland, you can vary the traditional forms or write your own with the minister’s approval.

Can I decorate a church with my own flowers?

Yes. Most churches will be able to recommend someone, but you can also use your own florist. It’s worth discussing any plans for large displays with the vicar to check they won’t cause any problems during the ceremony.

What happens during a church wedding rehearsal?

The rehearsal is a chance for the bride and groom, as well as bridesmaids, the best man and any family and friends who are involved in the ceremony, to run through the service and make sure everyone knows what to expect.

Will my guests be allowed to throw confetti outside the church?

The rules on throwing confetti vary from church to church so it’s worth asking whether or not confetti is allowed so that you can inform your guests in advance. If confetti is not allowed, then the church might allow a natural or bio-degradable substitute.  

Can I have my reception in the church hall?

Yes, although it depends on the individual church and their facilities. However, you can also arrange the reception at another venue if you prefer.

Unique Wedding Ideas

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Here are some top ideas to make your wedding a standout celebration.

A Luxurious Reception Lounge

Give guests a place to mingle between dance breaks by creating a lounge area at your reception. Fill the space with couches or chairs and plenty of pillows to sink into. It’s the perfect way to keep everyone in on the party even when they’re resting. Really want to wow? Close off the area with curtains to create a VIP vibe.

Ushers

You may already be planning to have your ushers escort guests to their ceremony seats, but consider having reception ushers. These “live escort cards” walk guests to their tables for an upscale restaurant experience. Ask your reception venue or caterer if its waiting staff can do this double duty, or assign a few ushers to the job.

Guest Transportation

If you’re planning on shuttling your guests from the ceremony to the reception, make the journey part of the fun by renting some seriously cool mass transportation. Take wedding transportation to new heights with a hot air balloon ride. Or, if it’ll suit your wedding style, get nostalgic with some charming yellow school buses. And for extra flair, customize the ride by playing fun music or decking out the bus with a sign that reads, “Sarah and John’s wedding or bust!”

Pre ceremony cocktails

Your guests won’t be expecting any drinks until the reception, so give them a pleasant surprise by setting up a table of light beverages on the way into the ceremony. Just don’t serve anything too strong — think: mimosas or fruit-infused iced teas they can sip before taking their seats (and don’t forget to have non-alcoholic versions too!). Have your caterer or ushers collect any stray glasses to make sure the space is tidy before the processional begins.

Welcome Bags

Make your guests feel like VIPs with welcome bags that go beyond a map and a few snacks. Stuff personalized tote bags with mini bottles of bubbly or a six-pack of a local microbrew, a gift certificate to your favourite local coffee shop and an individual “Welcome!” note from you.

Make your guests feel like VIPs with welcome bags that go beyond a map and a few snacks. Stuff personalized tote bags with mini bottles of bubbly or a six-pack of a local microbrew, a gift certificate to your favourite local coffee shop and an individual “Welcome!” note from you.

Wedding favours

Keep your guests comfortable all day by thinking ahead. Out of town guests will appreciate a custom scented soap so they don’t have to rely on the standard hotel samples. Planning on dancing until the next morning? Put out baskets of flip-flops (in your wedding colours, of course) so guests can take their shoes off. Having an outdoor reception that might get breezy? Make sure guests keep warm by offering up some cosy pashminas. And for a summer outdoor ceremony in the afternoon, provide a station with spray-on sunscreen and a stack of inexpensive sunglasses.

Convenient Child Care

Hire a babysitter (or two) and set her up in a room so your youngest guests have a place to go when they tire out. If it’s possible, pick a room near your reception location so parents can stop by to check in on and then return to the party easily. Stock the room with snacks, games and a portable DVD player to keep them entertained, and make sure there’s a soft sofa and blankets for those inevitable naps.

Find the right music for your wedding

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When you begin that walk down the aisle towards your fiancé the atmosphere is going to be electric. So make sure the music you choose is not going to kill the mood of your wedding day.

We suggest that you don’t choose anything too cutting edge. That doesn’t mean to say you can’t show off your taste in music but if you choose that week’s number one hit, you might regret it in years to come. Just as you might regret wearing a wedding dress that’s heavily styled for the moment. Go a little classic and you’ll never be out of style.

There are also some things you’ll need to bear in mind when making your music choices.

You need to consider just how long it’s going to take you to walk down the aisle. It usually takes about one to two minutes for most brides to walk the aisle. So choose a piece that doesn’t have a long intro or is instantly recognisable. If you’re planning a religious ceremony, some churches won’t allow you to play non-classical music or your own music. So you need to check your choices with the vicar.

Next, you should be thinking about how your music is going to be played. If it’s in a religious building, keep it classic and have it played on the organ. Alternatively, you could organise your own musicians to full the hall with romance.

Four pieces of music to play when you walk down the aisle;

The wedding processional from the Sound of Music.

Not a religious piece so you can use it in a civil ceremony. It’s majestic, grand and dramatic all at the same time. You’ll feel like a princess when you walk down the aisle to this.

Clair de Lune by Debussy.

This is a gorgeous tune to have played on the piano. It’s quiet, atmospheric and very romantic. Also not religious, so you could have it played while your guests are being seated.

For The Love of a Princess from Braveheart.

An atmospheric folk tune that’s emotional and sentimental in the right ways. Bound to bring tears to the eyes as your guests watch you start your walk.

The Bridal Chorus by Wagner.

Well this is the most traditional of traditional music to walk up the aisle to. Everybody will know you’ve arrived when this starts to play!

Now what about after you’ve said your vows? When you’ve signed the register and you’re legally man and wife and starting the first steps on your new life together?

Here you can change the tempo a little bit, and have something that’s celebratory and uplifting.

Signed, Sealed, Delivered I’m Yours by Stevie Wonder.

This says it all really. You’ve said your vows and you’re on your way. A timeless piece that’s joyful, catchy and instantly recognisable.