Category Archives: Planning

The Best Man

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Many years ago, pre medieval times, the groom’s best man stood beside the bride at the altar. He assumed his position at the side of the bride as protection throughout the wedding ceremony. What was the meaning behind the protection? Is it not the best man’s’ job just to throw a huge bachelors party, and say a few kind words at the reception?

The best man was traditionally a friend of the groom, and asked by the groom to be the chief guardian of the bride during the time preceding the wedding. He in turn would appoint mutual friends to help with the duty of protecting the bride and seeing to it that she got to the wedding on time and unscathed. This is the origin of the best man and groomsmen, or traditionally called “The brides knights”.

Of course, scandal wasn’t uncommon in the Anglo-Saxon days of Great Britain. And on occasion it has been told that the Best Man with the assistance of his groomsmen would kidnap the bride. Some could interpret this as being an act of selfishness or unkind, others might detail a different story. Most marriages in the dark ages were still arranged and courtship was granted by the father of the bride to better the family status. Thus, potential suitors would be pitted against each other; similar to applying for a job. Your letter to the father would outline your traits, qualities and suitability to wed his daughter.

Of course, the daughters were still given a lot of freedom and allowed to marry in most instances where they too consented. But in the cases where the parents did not approve, they would see their daughter kidnapped by the groomsmen and guarded until married.

Of course the family would take action and try to dispel the marriage, even whilst the two delinquents were at the altar! Hence you will find that the Groom would stand to the right of the bride at the altar so his sword could be drawn quickly to defend his position in marriage. And the best man would guard the bride by standing on the brides other side until the vows had been completed.

 

Childhood wedding dreams

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Are you the sort of bride who’s been dreaming of her big day since she was a little girl? Or are you somebody who never thought you’d be get married and are surprised to find yourself picking stationery and choosing between vintage birdcages?

Either way, you’re in good company. Here are some wedding ideas from real brides and how they changed or didn’t change their plans;

Sometimes, little girls don’t always have the most realistic expectations, “The unlimited budget I had in my mind has obviously changed so, due to that, pretty much everything is different!”

The same can’t said for one Bride to Be. “Everything is exactly how I always dreamed it would be – a grand princess fairytale wedding”. Her dad promised her that it would be perfect years ago and he didn’t disappoint.

One real bride’s childhood dream transformed into something more modest. “I always thought I’d be the new Cinderella. With the big castle, big dress and thousands of guests,”now it’s changed to wanting a small laid-back wedding that’s just lots of fun.”

Changing wedding plans

Other brides have changed their minds about lots of things… from colour schemes to who they were going to marry!

One Bride to be always wanted a baby pink and blue wedding, but now she’s having a Cadbury purple wedding with butterflies. And marrying a woman!!

However, one bride has kept to her plan. “I’ve always wanted burgundy, green and cream for my wedding and I’ve always wanted to get married near Christmas.” She got married on 30th November and had the day shes always wanted.

Some of you were surprised that you were even getting married!

“Throughout my childhood, teens and early adulthood, I never planned on getting married,” says one Bride. “It wasn’t until my partner proposed that I actually wanted to get married.”

“I was dead set on not getting married because I saw it as a waste of money,” says another Bride to be. “That wasn’t until I met my husband and I realised what it all really means and that it’s not about the money.”

It goes to show that you never know what’s going to happen in your future. Keep dreams as flexible as possible and don’t be too rigid in your expectations, because you never know what could happen.

Talk to your other half about the type of wedding you want because he may not be comfortable with the big extravagant event you’ve always imagined and it may suit the pair of you far more to have a simpler, smaller do.

At the end of the day you both want to enjoy yourselves and a lot of marriage is about compromise. So find some common ground about what you both want and take it from there.

 

Wedding themes

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By giving your wedding a theme, you will make your wedding day personal and unique to you. To help you plan your own big-day theme, we’ve created a handy tips that should help you along the way.

Don’t just follow a fashion. If you both love music then why not choose that as your wedding theme inspiration? You can have invitations that reflect the type of music you love, you can have a live band playing at your reception and you could even take a turn at the microphone yourselves.

Or if you’re both city people and are planning a metropolitan big day then use that as part of your theme. Maybe have a city landscape on your invitations and hold your reception in a funky loft-style venue. You just need to really think about what expresses the two of you as a couple and take it from there.

If you’re having a music-themed wedding then you could burn a CD of your favourite music and put a copy at every place setting. Try not to give favours that are completely random and have nothing to do with your wedding theme, think about what will fit in. They don’t need to cost much money, but they should be relevant.

If you’re having a country garden wedding theme, then maybe have your wedding in a marquee or a barn. A function room in a hotel won’t have quite the effect you’re looking for, so shop around for something that fits.

Try not to do these things: Brides often fall into the trap of thinking they need a theme AND a colour scheme. One or the other will be fine, but both can make the reception a bit of a shambles, with lots of extra work for you.

If you’re having a vintage theme, then don’t insist that everybody dresses in vintage-style clothes. The fact that they have made the effort and have almost certainly spent money to attend your wedding should be enough to ask of your guests. If they want to dress up and follow the theme then that’s fine – but don’t insist upon it.

Finally, you don’t have to have a theme if you don’t want to, it’s all up to you! It’s your day and you should do it your way.

 

How to make a good wedding speech

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1. Strip it down.

There’s an unfortunate temptation in a short speech to try to cram everything you have to say into a short time. Instead of trying to make the time to fit the speech, however, recognize that you have to make your remarks fit the time allotted and to get all the key points you want to say.

  1. Plan and rehearse.

This applies whether you have five days notice before your speech or 30 seconds. If you’re surprised to be called on to speak, your wedding planning might consist only of conjuring up your three main points while someone else is trying to get everyone’s attention and introduce you, but that’s better than nothing. Ideally, you want to plan everything you’re going to say, rehearse in front of other people, and rewrite over and over.

3. Cut yourself off.

In the history of the entire world, we don’t think anyone has ever said, “I wish that speech had been longer.” So keep track of time, and by all means don’t ramble. If you’ve run out of time to make a major point.

4. Use milestones

For a five minute speech, you want to organize in roughly one-minute intervals, and you want to offer milestones to the audience at the top of each minute. You get one minute for your introduction, during which you explain what you plan to say.

  1. Show. Don’t tell.

For a short speech, show the audience–a couple of photos, a prop, anything that gives the audience’s eyes something to focus on. Raise your glass and propose a toast, rather than just making an announcement. It can be a little bit corny, granted, but it’s much more memorable.

6. Make it personal

You do not need to bare your soul, but in almost every short speech there is an opportunity to connect on a personal level with your audience. Don’t be afraid to allow emotion to enter into your voice if appropriate. If the news is good (and it should be at a wedding), say you’re happy and proud.

  1. Speak up

All of your preparation, cutting, organizing, and emotion goes for nothing if people can’t hear you. If you have good audio equipment, use it. If not, at least start out by asking whether people can hear your voice. One trick: Ask the audience to raise their hands if they can hear you well. If you see a patch of people somewhere without their hands up, you know there’s an issue you need to address.

 

Best Man tradition

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The tradition of a best man has its origin with the Germanic Goths, when it was customary and preferable for a man to marry a woman from within his own community. When women came into short supply “locally,” eligible bachelors would have to seek out and capture a bride from a neighboring community.

As you might guess, this was not a one-person operation, and so the future bridegroom would be accompanied by a male companion who would help with the wedding planning. Our custom of the best man is a throwback to that two-man, strong-armed tactic, for, of course the future groom would select only the best man he knew to come along for such an important task.

The role of the best man evolved. By 200 A.D. his task was still more than just safeguarding the wedding ring. There remained a real threat that the bride’s family would attempt to forcibly obtain her return, so the best man remained at the groom’s side throughout the marriage ceremony, alert and well-armed.

He continued his duties after the ceremony by standing guard as sentry outside the newlywed’s home. Much of this is German folklore, but is not without written documentation and physical artifacts. We have records that indicate that beneath the altars of many churches of early peoples (the Huns, Goths, Visigoths, and Vandals) there lay an arsenal of clubs, knives, and spears. The indication is that these were there to protect the groom from possible attack by the bride’s family in an attempt to recapture her.

 

How to annoy the bride

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Being impossible to contact

Bridesmaids being difficult or impossible to contact is a huge problem. We’re not saying it’s compulsory for your bridesmaids’ phones to be in their hands at all times, and kept on loud on their pillow whilst they sleep, but the role comes with certain responsibilities and one of them is being contactable at certain times.

Being fussy about dresses

Choosing a dress style that suits lots of different body shapes is a hard enough task by itself without adding a fussy bridesmaid into the equation. Don’t put your bridesmaids in dresses that don’t suit them or they don’t feel comfortable in, but don’t succumb to a moody best friend just because you didn’t get the dress she wanted most.

Not getting on with other bridesmaids

You want the whole of the bridal party to get on! Through the planning process, through to the wedding day, you’re all going to be spending a lot of time with each other. Maybe one of your maids hasn’t taken a liking to one of your other maids? This causes tension within the bridal party, whether it’s kept quiet or seen through out-right arguments. Resolution? At the end of the day, it’s your wedding and you’ve chosen your best girls to be right next to you the whole way through it, so let her know and realise her mistakes! Arranging ‘get-to-know-each-other’ activities is a great idea to get the bonding started.

Making a mess

Girls are well known for being a bit messy when it comes to getting ready. Clothes scattered across the floor, make-up all over the place and so on. Whilst this is ok in their own bedrooms no one wants a messy bridesmaid in the bridal suite! Each girl should bring a little bag with everything they need for the big day and get ready as soon as possible, leaving a calm and tidy room where the bride can relax before her big entrance.

Not listening

Having your bridesmaids ask you the same details over and over again is not ideal when you’ve got so much to do. You don’t want to be bombarded by questions because your bridesmaids didn’t listen to you in the first place! We’re sure that you’ll have a to-do list for your wedding planning and for your big day – hand one over to each of your bridesmaids, or assign them specific tasks, and make sure they

Uploading photos on social media

Everyone loves a good bride and bridesmaids photograph – but wait! Your bride may not want unofficial shots plastered all over instagram even before she’s cut her cake! Make sure you let your maids know about how you feel about your wedding photos on Facebook. Have an acceptable social media plan in mind, and tell your chief bridesmaid who can spread the word.

We hope you don’t have any of these problems!

 

The perfect wedding soundtrack

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While booking daytime wedding musicians might feel a little indulgent when planning your wedding music, ceremony songs are an essential element of every ceremony. Think about those all-important quieter moments… They occur as you walk down the aisle, sign the wedding register, and during your recessional as a happily married couple.

Even as the guests are being seated, playing some wedding music will create the atmosphere and anticipation you want. Red Masque an entertainment directory specialising in a huge selection of entertainment for any event, including weddings – we are here to help you choose the perfect live wedding music for your special day.

String quartets

If you would like to keep things traditional, why not hire a string quartet for your wedding music? Have them perform during your wedding ceremony for a truly magical start to your wedding day.

Comprising of two violins, a cello and a viola played together, string quartets create a whimsical and unique sound. If you are hosting your wedding in a church, your string quartet can perform stunning classical wedding songs from the likes of Pachelbel or Vivaldi – ever the favourites with brides and grooms

If you are a more modern bride who wants something a little different, many string quartets will also offer the choice of contemporary wedding songs, played in an instrumental manner. Whether you want Adele, Ed Sheeran or even a bit of Bob Marley, check your chosen string quartet will be able to perform them, then get booking!

Cellists

For a warm and rich sound, look to a cellist to provide the wedding music. There is a huge choice when it comes to choosing an instrumentalist for your wedding ceremony. Hiring one musician is perfect if your wedding budget won’t quite stretch to a whole string quartet. They are often cheaper to book (depending on their experience, of course).

Harpists

The harp is the instrument of choice for a lot of wedding music. In fact, you’ve probably attended weddings of family and friends yourself that have been graced by a harp’s soft notes. Harpists will need a little more space than some other instrumentalists, but they are still perfect even for more intimate wedding venues thanks to their gentle music.

Long hailed as one of the most romantic of sounds, the harp is bound to win the hearts of both you and your guests.

 

Get your family involved in your big day

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Make your own photo bunting

DIY bunting is always popular with brides wanting to personalise their wedding – it’s super easy to make and can transform plain spaces like marquees. Why not take it one step further and create bunting out of family photos? It will go down a storm with your guests, who will love reminiscing over the photographs during the reception.

Ask them to do a reading

One of the most meaningful ways to include family members in the ceremony is to ask them to do a reading. This is an especially lovely way to involve family members who may be be a little further removed from the immediate family, such as aunts or uncles.

Have personalised place cards

This is another sweet photo idea – use pictures of your friends and family in their place names! It’ll get everyone talking on their tables, and literally putting faces to names means that you’re less likely to get awkward introductions. We also love it when couples use photos on their table plans for the same reason.

Set up a hashtag

In the age of social media, it’s becoming much faster and simpler to share your wedding photographs and videos of the big day with lots of people at once. If you’re embracing social media on your big day, why not consider setting up a hashtag and letting your guests know for easier photo sharing? You may have to explain it a little to the grandparents, but once they realise that they’ll be able to see everyone’s photos all at once, they’re sure to be on board!

Have a family wedding wall

This is a great way to observe family wedding traditions on your big day while still keeping it your own. Get as many family members as you can to send you their wedding photos before the day, and then create a big canvas out of all of them. If nothing else, this is a great way to see how wedding trends change! We also love it when couples recreate one of their parents’ wedding pictures for a nostalgic photo opportunity.

Don’t forget granny!

It might seem obvious now, but your wedding photographs will be over quicker than you think – so if you know your grandparents would love to be involved in the formal photos, make sure your photographer knows this before the day. The pictures will make great keepsakes to send your family after the big day, and they’ll always treasure them.

 

The Wedding Processional Order

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When planning a wedding, we’ve listed the entire processional order starting with mother of the bride and finishing with the bride. Make sure your bridal team know who they should follow and who goes next…

Mother of the bride

The mother of the bride is the first to walk down the aisle to mark the start of the procession. She traditionally takes the first seat in the left hand aisle.

Mother of the groom

The mother of the groom shortly follows, taking the first seat in the front right hand row.

Grandparents of the bride

If both grandparents are attending your wedding it is also tradition for them to be included in the wedding procession. The grandparents of the bride should sit in the front left hand row with the

Mother of the bride.

Grandparents of the groom

Followed by grandparents of the groom who should sit in the front right hand row with the mother of the groom.

Groomsmen

The groomsmen can walk in one by one or together and will stand at the front awaiting the entrance of the Groom.

Best Man & Groom

The best man may walk in with the Groom or as the last of the groomsmen. The best man will stand by the groom’s side during the wedding ceremony and often holds the bride’s ring or both rings.

Officiant

A crucial element to the ceremony, the officiant of the marriage is also honoured with a position in the processional either down the aisle or from another side room. The officiant will stand at the front with the groom.

Bridesmaids & Maid of honour

Traditionally the bridesmaids will walk in together, closely followed by the maid of honour who is the last person to assist the bride with her dress and make sure the bride looks perfect for her entrance.

Flower girls, page boys & ring bearer

Flower girls, page boys and/or the ring bearer will precede the bride down the aisle. This marks the end of the processional, the rings are given to the best man and maid of honour by the ring bearer.

Father of the bride and the bride

Finally, the bride’s father will traditionally walk his daughter down the aisle and give her away to the groom who waits at the altar. The father of the bride will then take his seat next to the mother of the bride.

 

The Best Places To Wed

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BEST BARN VENUE

Cruck Barn, Arley Hall, Cheshire

When planning a Wedding; Barn weddings are perennially popular, and the Cruck Barn at Cheshire Arley Hall is hard to beat if you’re looking for a venue that blends history with contemporary style. The Grade-I listed, timber-framed barn dates back to the 1400s and is set in 18 acres of formal gardens with a lime tree avenue, arboretum and woodland walks. The atmosphere is warm and intimate, over owing with charm and character.

BEST OUTDOOR WEDDING VENUE

Sheene Mill, Royston, Hertfordshire

This 16th-century watermill is set on the banks of the River Mel in beautifully landscaped gardens. Take your vows in the picturesque outdoor gazebo, and relax over wedding reception drinks on the lakeside decking. The grounds are spectacular year-round, with banks of snowdrops in winter, bright seasonal flowers in summer, and vibrant autumn leaves. The Garden Conservatory overlooks the millpond, populated by families of wildfowl, including Will, the venue’s resident trumpeter swan.

BEST COASTAL VENUE

The Alexandria, Lyme Regis, Dorset

Prepare to be blown away by the incredible views from the Alexandra, renowned as one of Dorset’s best boutique hotels. The Alexandra looks out across Cobb Harbour to the world heritage Lyme Regis bay and the Jurassic coast beyond, the inspiration for many a romantic story, lm and TV series…

There’s road-free access to the beach: a stunning backdrop for wedding photos. The hotel itself is a haven of English style and charm and has racked up an impressive portfolio of awards and accolades from the press and tourist boards.

BEST SETTING

Blair Castle, Pitlochry, Scottish Highlands

If you’re looking for a venue within a setting that’ll take your guests’ breath away, you’ll be hard pressed to find better than Blair Castle. For over 700 years, it’s carved a fascinating history that even involves Queen Victoria and Bonnie Prince Charlie… The 13th-century castle is now a five-star wedding location – offering an array of historic interiors, contemporary spaces and spectacular gardens. On the outside this authentic Scottish castle is surrounded by extensive grounds and gardens, lochs, rivers and glens.

BEST LARGE SCALE VENUE

Hylands Estate Chelmsford, Essex

Struggling to whittle your guest list down? It’s not a problem at Hylands, which can host weddings for up to 300 people. The Grade-II* listed mansion has a wealth of spaces for your celebration, including the majestic Banqueting Room with its silk lined walls, gold plated detailing and views over the Serpentine Lake. If you’re looking for something more modern, check out the Grand Pavilion, a contemporary space with oor-to-ceiling windows and courtyard views, ideal for large receptions.