Category Archives: Bride

To toss or not?

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What if your friends want you to toss your wedding bouquet, but you want to preserve it as a keepsake?

Ask your florist to create a smaller “tossing bouquet ” that resembles your bridal bouquet. The tossing bouquet should be placed on the cake table to enable you to find it easily. Many florists automatically include a tossing bouquet in the budget, but never assume.

Although the bridesmaids and groomsmen don’t need to have flowers that replicate yours, they should complement your bridal bouquet style (bold and contemporary, French country, and so on) and color scheme (pastels, jewel tones, etc.). One lovely look is to create tightly packed nosegays of roses with a slightly different shade for each bridesmaid.

Nosegays in the same color but using a different flower for each are also pretty. Consider adding a touch that reflects the ambiance of the location, such as shells at the beach or berries, acorns, and oak leaves for a fall wedding.

Mother of the bride

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Even though it’s all out of the goodness of their hearts, the Mother of the bride and the mother of the groom can get a little too involved in the Wedding. Here are a few things that they definitely shouldn’t be doing – where you know they’ve crossed a line…

Obviously, with their child getting married, both sets of mothers are bound to get excited. Your diaries will be filling up with lunch dates with you and your mother, or you and your groom’s mum where every single thing you could possibly talk about when it comes to weddings, will be mentioned.

It’s good to see brides accepting help from others so they get a bit of stress relief, but don’t let that mean that no part or no detail of your wedding is planned by you. It’s not uncommon to see that motherly tendency of ‘taking over’ – whether subtle or slightly more aggressive – so be warned. If you want something done in that way, don’t let your mother’s words sway you. Your day, your way – and that’s that.

As we said, by no means refuse ALL the help the offer, because at the end of the day, it’s saving you a job and it’s saving you time. But when delegating wedding duties around your friends and family members, make sure that both you and the recipient are realistic in the amount they are taking on.

No matter how eager and keen your mother-in-law may sound about taking on 12/20 jobs you’ve got on that to-do list, remember that she still is human, and her eager excitement for the wedding plans may wear out before she’s even finished her second task of writing out all the place cards. At that point, you won’t even DARE to mention the handmade favours she agreed to do…

It’s a common stereotype of mother-in-laws – both of the bride and the groom – that they can be quite… disapproving… of everything. Of course, we don’t believe in that stereotype, but there might be times where you can understand where that common image of mother-in-laws have come from.

Taking her along to your wedding dress fitting can quickly turn from a lovely and thoughtful idea, to maybe changing the aim of the shopping trip to buying an axe, and a shovel. And her constant comments about your hubby-to-be not making enough effort? Just no. If this is happening to you, calmly let her know what she is saying is upsetting you, and most importantly, don’t let it affect you!

Wear White

Oh come on! This is number one of the wedding rule book, isn’t it? If wedding guests aren’t allowed to wear white, neither should your mum. This is the point when the question will be raised, by you, by your groom, and by everyone else: “Is she pretending it’s her wedding?”.

We’re almost sure your mum would think this one through, but do ask her what she’s wearing before the wedding day actually comes.

Match with the bridesmaids

On a similar note, unless you’ve actually specified for her to do so, if your mum or mum-in-law is deliberately matching her outfits to your bridesmaids – essentially, assigning herself as an extra bridesmaids– that’s another line crossed!

If she wants to make some kind of link to the bridal party, suggest the idea of a corsage in the same colour as the bridesmaid dresses. It would be a really nice touch for the photographs, and make your mum a little bit happier. But remember, make sure that both sets of mothers go with this idea so that one isn’t left out.

From offering the bride advice and knowing exactly how to calm you down, to readjusting that strand of hair that’s a little out of place after you’ve finished getting ready, your mum should be there for you on your wedding morning! She shouldn’t show up late and think you won’t notice.

That goes for the rest of the wedding planning process, too – all the arranged appointments, lunch-time meet ups to talk about table plans, and so on. You should never underestimate the usefulness of a mum around your wedding time, and neither should she!

Wearing white on the day is one thing, but taking complete control of everything that’s going on, pointing out every little detail she helped with, and not letting the bride or groom get a word on their wedding day is on another level! Either the excitement of the wedding has got a little too much for her or her glass is getting topped up a little too often, either way, there comes a point when it’s acceptable to just say ‘STOP’. I mean, she didn’t even help with that bunting!

To be honest, we’re sure that you won’t have to deal with any of these extremes, but you might witness a few hints of this kind of ‘Mumzilla’ mode. Just always be careful how you approach it and what you say. Want more advice on that?

An Ideal seating plan…

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If you’re having 50 guests at a buffet, you may or may not want to give people specific seating assignments. But if you’re having 100 guests or more and serving a seated meal, you’ll want to make sure everyone’s got a specific place to sit. Why? For one, people like to know where they’re sitting — and that you took the time to choose where and whom they should sit with. It’s also helpful if you’re serving several different entree choices, because the wedding caterer and wait staff can figure out beforehand how many chicken, filet and veggie dishes a given table gets, because they (you) know who’s sitting there.

Create a Paper Trail

If you’re feeling more low-tech, draw circles (for tables) on a big sheet of paper and write names inside them (make sure you know how many people can comfortably be seated at each one). Or you could write every guest’s name on a sticky note and place it accordingly.

Head Up the Head Table

A traditional head table is not round but long and straight, and it’s generally set up along a wall, facing all the other reception tables. It may even have two tiers if your wedding party is large. Usually the bride and groom sit in the middle (where everyone can see them), with the maid of honour next to the groom, the best man next to the bride, and then boy/girl out from there. Flower girls or ring bearers usually sit at the tables where their parents are sitting, much to the relief of the bridesmaids and groomsmen. Decide to sit this way, or plan a sweetheart table for a little one-on-one time

Switch Things Up

But you don’t have to do it that way. All the bridesmaids can sit on the bride’s side, and all the groomsmen on the groom’s. Or maybe you’re not into being on display, or you don’t want your wedding party to feel isolated from other guests. Let your wedding party sit at a round reception table or two with each other and/or with their dates/significant others, and have the head table be a sweetheart table for the two of you. (How romantic!) Another option: You two sit with your parents and let that be the head table, with the wedding party at their own tables.

Place Your Parents

Traditionally, your parents and your parents to be sit at the same table, along with grandparents, siblings not in the wedding party, but for one reason or another you might want to let each set of parents host their own table of close family and/or friends. This could mean up to four parents’ tables, depending on your situation — or have the divorced parent who raised you (or your partner) and his/her spouse/date sit at the table with still-married parents.

Remember, the parent-seating question is a flexible one. Set it up in whatever way best suits everybody. If you’re unsure, don’t hesitate to talk to the parents in question about it before you make your final decision.

Tame Tensions

There may also be situations in which certain family members just do not get along. Maybe they haven’t spoken in years. Maybe the last time they saw each other there was a drunken catfight. Understandably, you want to keep them as far apart as possible. Think about these kinds of relationships (or lack thereof) before you even start making your chart, so you can take them into consideration in the first place and begin by seating Auntie Maud at table three and Aunt Lucy across the room at table 15. Trust us — they’ll appreciate it.

Play Matchmaker

Again, all your University or school friends will be so pleased to sit at a table together. This especially works out well if you and your beloved went to the same school and have the same friends. It also gives them all an opportunity to catch up with each other, because they may not have seen each other for a while. But again — reception tables offer a great opportunity to mix and match your friends and your partners — who knows who’ll hit it off? Consider seating friends who don’t know each other (yet), but who you think will get along exceptionally well, at the same table — and the rest is history. It can’t hurt!

Wedding Colours for Winter

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Reds and greens certainly reflect the season, but overdo this colour combo, and your wedding may seem more holiday-oriented than you intended.

Consider a less-is-more approach to your colour: Silver and white with crystal accents can add some serious glamour to your winter wedding. For your ceremony, try a white velvet aisle runner trimmed with white satin ribbon, or decorate the altar with a crystal curtain backdrop adorned with hanging strands of elegant white orchids. If you’re exchanging vows outdoors, get your guests in on creating the ambience by giving out clear umbrellas to friends and family members as they arrive.

The Wedding Flowers

Red roses, lilies, and amaryllis are decidedly winter wedding flowers, but if you step outside the flower box, and you’ll find a variety of options for winter blooms.

Consider fuller wedding flowers, such as white hydrangeas. White boutonnieres can be perfect when they’re accented with greenery, but they also look great with a simple white ribbon. Add sparkle to your bouquet by wrapping the stems in ribbon embellished with crystals.

Centrepieces

Go beyond glowing candles to add both warmth and romance to your reception site.

If you want to heighten the drama, bring in the icy outdoors with ice-carved vases on your reception tables. Have your florist fill the vases with tall winter-white branches and hanging crystals to reflect the light from the tables. Surround the centrepieces with candles, and top your tables with white table linens and frosted glass china.

Place Cards

Miniature sleighs and holly motifs stamped onto your place cards would spell out the season pretty clearly, but they might not dazzle your guests.

Leave everyone amazed as they retrieve their place cards by making the entire table sparkle. Have the cards hand-calligraphed in silver ink and attach them to individual crystals with a ribbon. Hang each from an oversized crystal candelabra centrepiece for a new take on the popular place card tree.

The Music

A classical pianist playing during dinner is a sure way to create an elegant ambience, but consider a more unexpected accompaniment.

For a twist on the tunes, consider hiring a Capella quartet to sing background music at your reception. Have the group sing your favourite jazz and pop songs to set a welcoming and festive tone for the evening. If you’re into a more classical sound, hire a cellist and ask that Vivaldi’s “Winter” be included in the repertoire.

Cocktails

A winter cocktail calls for warm, comforting drinks. You really can’t go wrong with hot chocolate and warm cider, but it’s your wedding — why not take every opportunity (drinks included) to add an element of surprise?

Serve up white hot chocolate in small espresso cups and advocar in small punch glasses for your guests as they arrive. At the bar, offer saketinis (Japanese rice wine and sweet-flavoured vodka) in glasses rimmed with sugar crystals.

The Cake

A wedding cake trimmed in red or green ribbon or topped with roses looks pretty, but bakers who are willing to push the fondant envelope can reflect the winter in totally creative ways.

Play up the season with a white, vintage-style cake, dusted with edible silver powder. For accents, have your baker add a white sugar ribbon and crystal drops cascading down one side of the cake.

Honeymoons

While many couples flee the blustery weather for warmer (and sandier) destinations for their honeymoon, a winter wedding can segue perfectly into a snowy escape.

Embrace the season and rent a cosy log cabin, or join the jet-setters at a luxurious hotel in Aspen for some serious skiing, wining, dining, and snuggling.