Your ‘ex’ wedding guest

Planning your wedding guest list can be stressful enough, without the added dilemma of whether to invite your friends or ex your husband to be does not approve of.

Be sensitive

Ask yourself why specifically you want that person at your wedding. Often people invite people because they are part of a friendship network and if everyone else is going then why not invite them? It is not unusual to stay good friends with an ex-partner, and inviting people to your wedding is a lovely gesture!

Honestly is the best policy

Being completely honest with your other half is important from the very beginning, and the sooner you approach the subject, the better. Make him feel completely comfortable, and ensure that you aren’t demanding your ex has to come, but rather asking if he would be happy with the idea. An ex might feel snubbed if they’re not invited, but in some cases, people may not have been invited to spare their feelings.

Think sensibly

Make sure you think about how you and your ex ended, was it friendly? Was it recent? Worst case scenario is your ex ruining your big day by drinking far too much and saying something offensive. People should only invite people to weddings if they think that person will be a positive presence at the wedding.

Your husband-to-be

There is a chance that your h2b will say no. It is as much your day as his, so it is only fair that you take his feelings into consideration! After all, your ex is an ex for a reason. Every case is individual, sometimes we have enough trouble when the couples’ parents are divorced or remarried without the added pressure of exes being invited too! As long as the couple have discussed it and have both agreed that they are comfortable with it, then there is no problem!

Dos and Don’ts

  • Do invite your ex with a guest

  • Don’t spend a long time chatting with your ex

  • Do sit your ex with people he or she gets on with

  • Don’t dance with your ex

  • Do take control of the situation and keep your h2b as busy as possible!

  • Don’t introduce them to people as your ‘ex’