Wedding planning is stressful enough. It gets even more confusing when most of the advice out there revolves around a bride and groom—and you’re both one of the above.
1. Don’t worry about what you “should” do
Instead of worrying about how to make your ceremony line up with (straight) tradition, view it as a chance to throw an event exactly your way, without any of the old-school “must-haves” that don’t mean anything to you personally. “Because many same-sex couples don’t have gendered roles in their relationship, they really have the freedom to reinvent the wedding.
2. Get creative with your wedding party
Who says a woman has to have maids of honour and only guys get to nominate best men? Choose the guests you want up at the altar with you—whatever sex they are—and name them accordingly. You could have bride’s men, groom’s maids, a man of honour or a best woman, for instance, or give the whole gang a fun name like the “I Do Crew” or “Bridal Brigade.” Or skip the guests altogether and keep all eyes on you and your partner.
3. Social media is your friend
Can’t visualize what your invitations, vows or any other part of your wedding should look like? That’s what Pinterest is for.
4. Put your own stamp on the ceremony
Many traditional wedding ceremonies feature a groom waiting at the altar for his bride to walk toward him down the aisle. So what happens if you’ve got two grooms or two brides? It totally depends on what you and your partner feel comfortable with. Some ideas:
- Walk down the aisle one right after the other.
- Walk each other down the aisle, perhaps arm in arm or holding hands.
- Walk in unison down separate aisles leading to the altar.
- Flip a coin before the ceremony to decide who proceeds down the aisle first.
5. You can still have your own pre-parties
There’s no reason you have to forego a party with your best mates just because you’re both stags or hens. So go ahead and plan your own celebration, whether it’s a weekend in Amsterdam or a trip to the seaside. One thing that’s really common is two partners having separate parties on the same night and then meeting up at the end.
6. A planner may be worth the money
Though a wedding planner isn’t in everyone’s budget, a coordinator can help you save time by steering you toward venues and officiants that he knows to be inclusive of same-sex weddings.
7. Vet your honeymoon destination before you book
Once you’ve come up with a list of dream destinations—particularly international ones—do a little research first and cross off any that don’t afford the same legal protections and cultural acceptance that same-sex couples have here. That way, your honeymoon can be just as blissful as the wedding itself.
