Category Archives: Groom

Would you invite your ex?

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Planning your wedding guest list can be stressful enough, without the added dilemma of whether to invite your ex or not.

A survey conducted states that two thirds of couples admitted that they would invite their ex to their wedding, with men being twice as likely to do so.

With statistics showing that many people are getting married later in life, this means that they are more likely to have long-term ex-partners who they are still amicable with. If you’re thinking about inviting your ex, take these pointers into account before popping the question!

Be sensitive

Ask yourself why specifically you want that person at your wedding. Often people invite exes because they are part of a friendship network and if everyone else is going then why not invite them? It is not unusual to stay good friends with an ex-partner, and inviting people to your wedding is a lovely gesture!

Honestly is the best policy

Being completely honest with your other half is important from the very beginning, and the sooner you approach the subject, the better. Make him feel completely comfortable, and ensure that you aren’t demanding your ex has to come, but rather asking if he would be happy with the idea. An ex might feel snubbed if they’re not invited, but in some cases, people may not have been invited to spare their feelings.

Think sensibly

Make sure you think about how you and your ex ended, was it friendly? Was it recent? Worst case scenario is your ex ruining your big day by drinking far too much and saying something offensive. People should only invite people to weddings if they think that person will be a positive presence at the wedding.

Your husband-to-be

There is a chance that your h2b will say no. It is as much your day as his, so it is only fair that you take his feelings into consideration! After all, your ex is an ex for a reason. Every case is individual, sometimes we have enough trouble when the couples’ parents are divorced or remarried without the added pressure of exes being invited too! As long as the couple have discussed it and have both agreed that they are comfortable with it, then there is no problem!

Dos and Don’ts

Do invite your ex with a guest
Don’t spend a long time chatting with your ex
Do sit your ex with people he or she gets on with
Don’t dance with your ex
Do take control of the situation and keep your h2b as busy as possible!
Don’t introduce them to people as your ‘ex’

10 rules if you’re considering a marriage proposal

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If you’re thinking about a marriage proposal, there are many pit holes you should try to avoid when planning to utter those 4 special words. Here are 10 golden rules that you should follow if you’re considering a marriage proposal.

If she ever points a ring out in a shop window, go back and buy it. Otherwise a temporary ring will be just fine – a girl needs to choose her own ring. Haribos make some fun, colourful ones.

Ask her Dad for his daughter’s hand in marriage. You’ll be amazed what this will achieve. He might even say yes, thump you on the back and take you down to the pub for a beer.

If you whisk her away somewhere to do it, do it early on – don’t leave it till the last minute or when you’re packing up to go home. You’ll want the time to make plans, feel all coupley and get used to the idea that you’re in it for keeps.

Don’t do it in the heat of emotion or passion. People have different opinions on things when their senses are highly stimulated and you don’t want her changing her mind. Similarly, you don’t want to wake up the next morning regretting it.

Don’t bring too much alcohol into the mix either. A drunken proposal is a bad idea, not least because you won’t be able to re-live each moment when you’re telling the tale. And you’ll want to enjoy the ensuing Champagne. A beer or couple of shots for Dutch Courage is fine, but stop right there.

If she’s the sort of person who hates being surprised, or can’t bear being the centre of attention, don’t be dragging her up onto the stage at a Take That concert. She’ll probably say yes but mean no, and will find the whole thing humiliating and embarrassing, ruining the moment for her.

Conversely, if she likes spontaneity, it’s worth writing to her favourite band, nightclub or football team to ask for their help. It’s a great spectator sport this proposal lark.

State from the start how much you want to be involved in the planning. Talk to her. You don’t want to wake up the next day with no clue where to start or how to help. She might produce a list she’s been compiling for years of what she wants, so get in there quickly.

Don’t propose unless you are fully committed to setting a date. Getting engaged isn’t a mere gesture, or to be used to pacify your girlfriend, it’s a commitment to marry, to spend the rest of your life together.

Make it fun – if you’re not one for PDAs, be a bit creative at home. You could spend the day planning and preparing the house for her return to work – lay a trail of petals to the ring, make a treasure hunt, be waiting at her favourite restaurant, in a quiet corner (send a text saying: “You’re late, I’m at the restaurant”) or be waiting under a tree on your favourite country walk. You could even tie it on a ribbon round her kitten’s neck – just do it! Good luck!!

The Grooms to-do list

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Men aren’t usually as good at multi-tasking as women and many have a habit of leaving things until the last moment.

So, to stop the stress factor rocketing, we’ve created a last-minute checklist for your new hubby-to-be so he can see at a glance what he has to do and when – and you get the peace of mind of knowing that he’s on the case, hopefully.

A ring is an everlasting symbol of your love and commitment for one another and it’s the groom’s job to get the rings organised. No pressure there then!

Your husband to-be needs to buy wedding rings for both of you and check that they are the correct sizes. If you’re having something bespoke created then you need to be sure that the rings are going to be ready in time, and the pair will need to be cleaned and tucked away somewhere safe until the big day. Your rings are a main event when you tie the knot so it’s essential that they fit correctly and that he has them ready.

Losing the rings may be something that happens in sit-coms but it has been known to happen in real life, too! It’s traditionally the best man’s job to take care of them in the church and hand them over to the groom in time for the ceremony.

Most grooms rise to the occasion of their wedding and dress smartly, even if they don’t go the traditional morning coat and tails look.

Whatever type of wedding suit your fiancé wears, it needs to fit him perfectly and should be cleaned and brushed. He needs to have every aspect of his outfit in place and organised well in advance and absolutely not go shopping the day before.

Take his suit out of its bag and hang it up the night before to air and allow any creases time to fall out. It’s also a good idea for him to have a spare shirt handy, just in case something gets spilled down his front at the last minute.

Wedding accessories are also key to a groom’s look. Firstly, he needs to have some new socks on. They don’t have to be black, if he wants to rock a colour or stripes then let him. Just make sure his socks don’t have holes! Other accessories he’ll need to have are cufflinks for his shirt, his tie or cravat and any other option extra’s that he wants to wear with his outfit.

His shoes should be shiny and polished and if they’re new he needs to wear them in a bit before the big day – just as you have been wearing in your wedding shoes. He might want to wear a tie pin as a piece of jewellery and if you want to give him a gift of jewellery for your day, then this is something to consider.

Just like you, your groom needs to be thinking about his hair on your big day (just think of the photographs you’re going to have taken). He should have it cut no more than a week before the big day. If he wears it longer it needs to be shaped and if it’s short, then it needs to look sharp.

If you want to treat him, you could organise for him to have a cut and shave at a high end hair salon so he feels really special.