Tag Archives: church

Unwritten wedding rules

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Falling foul of the unwritten rules of wedding day etiquette may be easier than most of us realise – don’t be one of these wedding guests!

Over half of guests (52%) say they have attended a ceremony where they have cringed at the antics of a fellow family member or friend of the happy couple, according to a new survey.

Call the fashion police

Wearing the wrong outfit is classed as the most common mistake, with 36% of people saying they have witnessed guests dressed inappropriately. One in five (21%) say they have been embarrassed by attendees in very revealing clothing, while 15% know someone who has worn white or come dressed all in black, to a couple’s big day.

Men are not immune to getting their outfits wrong either, with 4% being seen in jeans and another 2% left feeling foolish by mistakenly believing black tie and dinner jacket is the same as a morning suit.

Too wide a hat was mentioned by 14% who thought it rude as it blocked the view at the ceremony, and wearing a similar dress to the bridesmaids was regarded by 11% as thoughtless. Keeping sunglasses on in church was found to be pretentious by 9%, while fake tan that was too dark or streaky, and heavily applied make-up was seen as a faux pas by 6%.

Not the right time

Nine out of ten thought getting drunk and causing a scene was the worst offence, but only 8% said they had witnessed such an event at a wedding. Taking flash photos during the ceremony was loathed by over eight out of ten, though just 12% had experienced this happening. A further 7% said they had been to weddings where a mobile phone ringing had ruined the atmosphere, either during the service or in the middle of speeches at the reception.

Inconsiderate guests causing problems for the organisers had been witnessed by 13% of those asked, either by not replying to an invitation and turning up with a friend who wasn’t invited, or changing the place cards to sit on a different table. People turning up late were another bug-bear for 10% of respondents.

Speech time

Best men are known for walking a tightrope between good and bad taste when giving their speech, and 37% said they had attended weddings where previous girlfriends and past exploits – best left unsaid – had been mentioned.

Leaving before the reception speeches are finished was regarded as unacceptable by one in four, while 5% claimed to have watched unseemly tussles as women tried to catch the bride’s bouquet.

Top wedding guest faux pas:

  • Bad taste best man’s speech
  • Leaving before the reception speeches are finished
  • Guests wearing outfits that are far too revealing
  • Wearing all white or all black
  • Blocking out the view of others in church with very large brimmed hats
  • Bringing someone who was not invited/failing to RSVP but turning up
  • Taking flash photography during the ceremony
  • Wearing a dress similar to the bridesmaids
  • Wearing sunglasses in church
  • Getting drunk/rowing and causing a scene
  • Forgetting to turn the ringer off your mobile phone for the ceremony or speeches
  • Turning up in jeans
  • Aggressively trying to catch the bride’s bouquet
  • Mistaking morning suit for black tie and dinner jacket

Get to know your Registrar

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If there is one wedding vendor you’d really like to connect with on a personal level, it should be your Registrar. This is the person who will legally join you and your future spouse together. They’ll coach you through reciting the special vows that will help you express your love and commitment, and they’ll possibly even impart important wedding advice that you’ll keep with you forever.

That said, we thought it would be helpful to provide a list of five questions you should ask a potential Wedding Registrar to be sure you’re hiring the best person to work with you. Here we go:

1. What are your credentials?

You’ll want to work with an experienced Registrar who can provide testimonials from other happy couples. They’ll need to be familiar with the marriage laws and requirements where you’re getting married,

2. Can we customize our ceremony?

If your Registrar works directly with a wedding venue that does numerous weddings every day, they may stick to a set “script” for every wedding and may not allow customizations. If you want to write your own vows or include particular readings, make sure the potential Registrar allows it.
3. Do you attend/run the rehearsal?

Some Registrars include a rehearsal and others don’t. Most charge an additional fee for it, which you’ll want outlined in your service contract. If there is an event coordinator find out whether they or your Registrar will run the rehearsal.
4. Have you ever made a mistake during a ceremony?

This is a tricky question, as most people will be tempted to say no. But we’re all human and make mistakes, right? The key thing to look for here is if they can admit they’ve made mistakes and how they responded when they did.
5. Why are you a ceremony Registrar?

This is perhaps the most important question you can ask a potential Registrar. Why do they do what they do? Does their answer tally well with the reasons you’re getting married? You can get a great sense of their personality based on their response.

There are other questions you can ask to gauge the Registrar’s character, such as what they considered the most romantic thing they’ve ever seen at a wedding, but the above questions should give you the answers you need to determine if the person you’re interviewing is the right for you.