Talk
Something about your partner bugging you? Let them know. Is something upsetting you? Talk it out. Are some of the wedding plans worrying you? Tell them! Communication is vital to a happy marriage – you should know everything there is to know about each other: all the good, the bad and the ugly. Why don’t you just tell him that you really hate that jumper that he got you for Christmas? Why don’t you let her know you’re not happy with the amount she wants to spend on the decorations? And why not tell him that you and his mother are just never going to get on. Because really, what’s the point in not being honest with the person you’re spending the rest of your life with?
Listen
Talking + listening = the dream team. Mostly because not many people like talking to a brick wall (or a useless equivalent), and also because talking things out between you is the best cure for any kind of problem! Being able to take on board anything that your partner says to you is a key factor of a happy marriage, and likewise for them to take on board anything you have to say. Like we said, it’s all about communication! It makes things a lot easier to share your worries or problems with your loved one than keep it to yourself – you never know; they might just say something useful! (Or at least can offer a cuddle at the end of it).
Compromise
The point of marriage is that you share your life with the one you love. Now, that can get a bit complicated. This is where the art of compromise comes in. It starts before marriage, because it has to; if one of person in the relationship can’t see themselves sharing the rest of their life with the other, then getting married isn’t the right thing to do, is it now? You can’t be selfish anymore – compromise is necessary to make it work! You may have wanted one thing when you were twenty years old and single, but things changed over time and you make room for the one you love, and they’ll make room for you.
Be best friends
Being totally open with each other and the art of compromise sort of link to this too: be best friends with the one you love! You’ll laugh, you’ll cry and you’ll be able to share things you didn’t think you’d ever share with anyone else. Why? Because that’s just what best friends do, and who in their right mind wouldn’t want to live with their best friend for the rest of their lives? Answer: no one. Want to find out if your husband or wife-to-be is your bestie?
Work at it
We’re sure lots of people have already told you, marriage isn’t the easiest thing in the world. The wedding is a beautiful day that you’ll always remember, but it isn’t all three-course meals, confetti and honeymoons from there on out. It’s hard work! But don’t give up too easily – there will be arguments and there will be disagreements, but with a little bit of patience, you’ll get there; the good times will make up for the bad times. Trust us, you just wait and see.
Know your value
We’re sure you do already, but you’ve got to make sure that you both realise how important you are to each other! You know each other better than anyone else in the world – you know when they need you the most, and when you should give them a bit of space, and they know the same for you! It’s not necessarily about saying ‘I love you’ every second of the day, it’s just about knowing how special you are to each other – with no words needed to be said. Although, a nice ‘I love you’ here and there works just as well, of course!
Keep up appearances
Just because the wedding day has passed and you’ve got the ring well and truly on your finger does not mean you should let your appearances slip. Okay, so we’re not saying you’re not allowed your weekly slob-days and so on, but it’s good to still make the effort every so often! Remind them how lucky they are to have you by wowing them with a new haircut, outfit or a weekend away – and it’s not a bad treat for yourself either!
Be realistic
With all that being said, you’ve got to be realistic too! Don’t set high expectations on marriage being an absolute dream, and most importantly, don’t set high (and impossible) expectations on your wife or husband. No, they probably can’t mind-read that you wanted this not that for your Christmas present. No, they probably can’t magic up an amazing meal just in time for when you step in the house. And no, they probably don’t really want to give you a foot massage after a long day at work. Give your partner a break (and you might just get that foot massage out of good behaviour!).
Do things together
Just because you’re happy enough sitting at home on your sofa, watching daytime telly that you know full well you’re just watching because you can’t be bothered to find the remote, does not mean that that’s how you should spend every single weekend. Where’s the fun in that? Plan things to do with your hubby or wife-to-be! And it doesn’t just have to be at the weekends, what about a midweek date night to keep you going for the rest of the working week? Date nights aren’t only for people who have just started seeing each other, married couples need date nights too. Plus, who doesn’t love getting dressed up and eating something that’s not a microwave meal every now and then?
