Writing Unforgettable Vows

Writing your own vows can be a bit daunting. You’re making promises to the one you love on your wedding day as all your favourite people watch on. You want the perfect words and you’re feeling the pressure. So, where do you start?

First up, there is some legal wording you must say:

“I call upon the persons here present to witness that I (Bride or Groom’s full name) take you (Bride or Groom’s full name) to be my lawfully wedded wife (or husband).”

We can change these words slightly. For example, you can start with “I ask everyone here today to witness…” but legally, you must say your names and you can’t replace the words “husband” or “wife”.

Beyond the legally required words, you can be as creative as you like. Or not. Don’t feel you must write your own vows. You may prefer traditional vows, along the lines of “for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part”. But if you have decided to put pen to paper, here’s some advice to help you on your way:

Make time: Set aside plenty of time – don’t leave it until the night before or even a few days before because you don’t want to rush it.

Mean what you say, say what you mean: The most important thing is that you really mean what you’re saying. You’re not writing a Hallmark card so avoid clichés and anything that doesn’t ‘feel’ right. We don’t want soppy if soppy is not your style, but if it is, go for it! Don’t use words or phrases that you wouldn’t normally use. You’re not writing for an audience, you’re writing words to live by, dedicated to the most important person in your life. Keep it simple but meaningful.

Think of it as a love letter: But not necessarily a long love letter. Ask yourselves, what is it you love about each other? What do you love about your relationship? Why have you chosen to spend the rest of your lives together? What promises do you want to make? What has your future husband/wife brought into your life?

Have a ‘vow date night’: If you’re writing your vows together, make a night of it. Cook your favourite meal or grab some takeaway, crack open a bottle of wine, reminisce, brainstorm and get writing!

Ideas for wedding gifts

Between the food, the event space, the photographer and the band — you may have spent a large part of your savings on your wedding. If you were lucky enough to receive wedding gift money from friends and family, you can really make this money work for you. Instead of using your cash for a trip to the Caribbean or on a new car, consider the following suggestions:

Start an emergency fund. We know it doesn’t sound as glamorous as a spa package, but starting an emergency fund and help to combat stress when something unexpected comes up. Whether it’s a sudden boiler breakdown or car repair, this saved cash will help if times get tough. It’ll also make you feel better to know there’s a bit of a cushion. We recommend opening an account that offers quick access and storing away £1,000 — you can always add to it.

Pay some bills. You’ve just planned a huge event and you’ve paid your fair share for it, so don’t feel guilty about using some of your gift money for your monthly bills, or even prepaying your mortgage if you have one. If you’ve been carrying around some unwanted debt — credit card, or car loan — consider paying off some of it. Having trouble deciding which to pay off first? Start by paying off the loan with the highest interest rate.

Watch it grow. It’s a smart idea to save and invest a big chunk of your gift money — this way it can gain interest and over time make money for you. It could be your deposit on a home or a nest egg for retirement. A financial adviser can help make sure you’re putting your cash in the best account for you, whether that be a tax advantaged plan, like a traditional ISA.

Invest in your home. If you’ve been looking for a place to call your own, your wedding money may make a nice deposit payment. As you probably know, the larger your deposit, the less interest you’ll typically end up paying on the loan.

Already have a nest? You could make updates and improvements to your current place, which can potentially increase its property value.

Look into life insurance. Now’s the perfect time to take out life for you and your new spouse. Pushing a plan to the side any further will make it more difficult to attain. Thankfully, this isn’t a huge investment, just a smart one.

Winter Wonderland Wedding

It’s the most wonderful time of the year – for a wedding! If everyone comes together at this time of year, so why not make the most of it and celebrate your nuptials, too? We love a Christmas Wedding here, so here are some of our favourite theme ideas to get you in the festive spirit…

First off, let’s think about Christmas colours – if you want to avoid the traditional greens and reds associated with the season, then there are loads of modern winter options for you to consider. We love the look of berry shades such as deep reds and purples interspersed with winter whites. It’s a chic option for a Christmas wedding that feels luxurious and festive. Purple calla lilies are a sophisticated choice, and you won’t need many of them to create an impact. Talk to your florist about what will work for you.

If you’re having a late afternoon wedding then it’s going to get dark early, so why not dress your bridesmaids in deep jewel tones that will look great in the evening? Plums and aubergines are a beautiful option in cosy, low lighting. For bridesmaids gifts you could gift them a contrasting pashmina to snuggle into. Remember that shoes don’t have to match– in fact it’s better and more on trend if they offer a pop of colour. If you feel like being minimal, then just having white and silver for your colour scheme makes a perfect Christmas theme. You could dress your maids in winter white and accessorise with silver and diamante earrings, bracelets or belts.

For Wedding Decoration and Design we think a beautifully decorated Christmas tree is an absolute must at both your ceremony and your venue. Use the wedding colours you’ve chosen for your tree decorations. Whites, silvers, golds and berry shades are classic and chic, while bright jewel shades of turquoise, emerald, ruby and amethyst will also look wonderful.

Christmas is the best time of year to splash out on great food and drink, so serve your guests a festive feast! You could offer your guests mulled wine and hot spiced apple juice as they arrive at your reception, with mini sausages to nibble on. A version of Christmas dinner is a natural choice for your main meal. Most people love a roast – and it doesn’t have to be turkey. If you’re having a buffet you could serve up the main course carvery style, so as well as the traditional turkey with all the trimmings, you could offer a large ham and a vegetarian option. For dessert, the options are endless – Christmas pudding, mince pies, Yule log, trifle… our mouths are watering just thinking about it! And if your wedding budget is tight, instead of favours, just put a Christmas cracker at everyone’s place – you could even personalise them beforehand if you have time, so that it doubles as a place name.

Keeping little ones occupied at a wedding will make their parents eternally grateful to you and a Christmas theme gives you some ready-made ideas. First off, you could have Father Christmas for a visit (maybe before the wedding breakfast whilst the adults are enjoying drinks and canapés) and give the kids Christmas gifts to play with throughout the meal. Alternatively have a chill-out room and play Christmas-themed DVDs – we’re thinking Polar Express, The Snowman, and The Grinch. This will leave you and your grown-up guests free to enjoy your amazing wedding day.

Don’t be conventional

1. Walk Down Memory Lane
Make the guest feel like integral parts of the day by incorporating them into the décor — in a gallery of meaningful photos. Why not hang pictures of the bride and groom with friends and family along the walk from the ceremony to the reception. It’s a fun cocktail party conversation starter.” As guests take a leisurely stroll and find pictures of themselves with you, they can reminisce and socialize.

2. Break the Ice Creatively
When you enter your reception for the first time as husband and wife, don’t just take a conventional arm-in-arm stroll. “Run. Skip. Dance. Swoop in on a rope swing! Brainstorm with your groom about the most creative, appropriate way to make a big impression. This is a great way to break the ice and set up for a fun vibe for the rest of the event.
3. Play Party Games
How about the menus being puzzles, so each person got one piece of the puzzle at their place setting, then everyone had to put the pieces together to get the full menu description. Crossword puzzles are fun for the back of a program or if you have guests going on a long bus ride to get to the wedding reception venue.

4. Be Entertaining
Guests always love the energy of a live band but tend to want to hear the original artist sing their favourite tunes. As a compromise, a bride may hire a dance band but also play DJ music during the breaks, or she’ll arrange to have live music during some parts of the event and recorded music during others.

5. Surprise them!
Love poems from a book makes a wonderful, lasting guest favour that’s much more meaningful that a bag of sugared almonds! If you buy in bulk, you might get a discount — contact your bookseller directly. And don’t forget to add a personalized bookmark thanking your friends and family for sharing your big day with you.”

Wedding costs

Having a clear idea of your budget is essential for any wedding day. Sit down together, or with your parents if they’re going to contribute, and work out what you can afford to spend.

Write down the estimated costs in a budget planner.

As a guide, here are the average amounts that Brides readers spend. (Of course, it’s up to you where you decide to save or splurge!)

Wedding venue: £2,500

Reception venue: £4,000

Catering: £3,000

Photography/video: £1,500

Flowers: £500

Cake: £300

Entertainment: £700

Dress: £1,300

Shoes: £100

Stationery: £240

Headdress/veil: £100

Attendants’ outfits: £450

Mother-of-the-bride outfit: £300

Groom’s outfit: £300

Beauty: £250

Engagement Ring: £2,500

Wedding rings: £650

Other wedding jewellery: £200

Honeymoon: £4,000

Gift List: £2,000

Total: £24,890

If budgeting is a big concern, you may be interested in tips for setting your wedding budget.

Finding a Fascinator

Stylish, dramatic and beautiful, fascinators are becoming a must-have addition to any wedding outfit, and, for the modern wedding guest they are a stunning addition to this season’s trends. So what are your options? Here are some top tips to help you find the perfect fascinator.

Large, colourful hats have traditionally always been the desired choice for a mother of the bride or groom. A trend resulting in nothing less than a huge hat-off between wedding guests determined to impress with stunning head-wear. Thank goodness then that the current trends have seen the fascinator come into its own.

What is a fascinator?

A dramatic headpiece often made from feathers, fabric, beads or flowers, attached to a headband or comb. They come in a huge range of shades and colours and tend to cost less than more traditional forms of headwear. You’ll find styles and shapes to suit every face shape or hair style.

Where to start?

A bigger shop is more likely to have a wide range of styles to choose from and it’s a good idea to take a swatch of your outfit along to match colours as well as possible.

Online stores are a fantastic starting point and if you are willing to take a risk you may even pick up a bargain on e-bay. However, it’s always nicer and less risky to try before you buy.

Go with a trusted friend and a digital camera so that you can try on lots of different styles and then have some thinking time before deciding what looks best.

Think about your hair style and how your chosen fascinator will complement your hair style and colour.

Bespoke or budget?

If you have the budget then go for a bespoke fascinator, a made-to-order piece in your chosen style and colour. Alternatively search for one-off creations in smaller boutiques and shops.

Happy head-wear hunting!

Fairytale Weddings

When it comes to romance, beauty and timeless charm, Disney has it all sewn up. Everyone has a favourite Disney character or story, and even if you’re not the biggest Disney fan, it’s hard not to be bewitched by the escapism of Disney’s larger-than-life fairy tales.

In celebration of Disney’s enduring sparkle, be inspired by four of the most famous — and best loved — Disney princesses. Whether you’re looking for inspiration for a Disney themed wedding, or you’d just like a touch of Disney magic on your big day, check out these four very special Disney princess mood boards.

Eternally Elsa

Frozen is a modern classic, loved by millions across the globe. Perhaps you’re such a big fan of the film that you’ll be playing “Let It Go” as you walk down the aisle…or maybe you just want to incorporate some of Elsa’s signature sky blue into your wedding styling. With her side plait and ice cool beauty, Elsa is a stunning Disney icon — and a few touches of Frozen magic will make your wedding day spellbinding.

Charming Cinderella

Cinderella is perhaps the most popular princess to inspire a wedding day. Her fairy-tale revolves around love and marriage — and a beautiful girl’s search for Prince Charming. Now you’ve found “the one”, you could celebrate your own love story by taking a leaf out of Cinders’ book: go for full-on glamour with a huge ball gown, sparkling headdress, sensational underwear, a horse drawn carriage, glitzy reception décor and — of course — a beautiful pair of glass slippers.

Seductive Snow White

Snow White is a dark fairy-tale complete with a wicked witch, a poisoned apple and a glass casket where Snow White sleeps until she is woken from her slumber by a handsome prince. If you’re using this story as your inspiration, forget the seven dwarves and concentrate on the enigmatic beauty of this Disney classic. Opt for dramatic make-up, a crimson dress, blood red roses against bright white icing, linen and candles, and a classic red and white colour palette. If you’re a raven haired beauty with a mysterious side, Snow White is definitely the princess to inspire you.

Rocking Rapunzel

In the 2010 Disney movie Tangled, Rapunzel appeared as a feisty, independent and spirited princess with a bubbly personality — as well as magic golden hair. If you want to blend timeless Disney romance with a contemporary edge, use Rapunzel as your role model. Look for a boho-inspired gown, 70s-style headband, pops of purple in your colour scheme and – in keeping with Rapunzel tradition – a castle with a tower for your reception.

Church Wedding

With more UK wedding venues available than ever, saying your vows in a church is no longer the norm. But for many couples, a church wedding is still an essential and traditional part of the big day.

So with around a third of UK couples still choosing a religious ceremony, here’s our beginner’s guide to booking a wedding ceremony in church:

What are the legal requirements for a church wedding?

Couples must be 18 to marry without their parents’ consent in England, Wales and Northern Ireland, or 16 with their approval. The ceremony must take place between 8am and 6pm, witnessed by two people.

In Scotland it’s legal to marry from 16 without consent and at any time of day, although you do still require two witnesses.

Most marriages require banns to be published before the wedding, signifying your intention to marry. These need to be read out in the parish where each of you lives, as well as the church where you’ll be married for three Sundays during the three months before the wedding.

If there isn’t enough time for this, you can apply for a license costing from £200, which you may also need if one of the couple isn’t British or lives outside England. In Scotland, you need to give 15 days’ notice with the local registrar.

NB: Marriage and Civil Partnership laws are changing from March 2015 when it comes to giving notice. Find out more!

Are the rules different in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland?

Yes — Scotland in particular has different laws than England and Wales, while there are stricter residency requirements in Northern Ireland. Catholic churches also differ, for example, needing a dispensation if one person is not Catholic but not requiring the banns to be read.

Can I get married in any church?

For a ceremony in England and Wales, you can marry in any church if you meet one of several conditions: that either of you has lived or attended services in the parish for at least six months, was baptized or prepared for confirmation there, that one of your parents or grandparents was married in the parish, or one of your parents has lived or attended services there for at least six months after you were born. If you’ve recently moved, you’ll be eligible to marry in your new parish too.

In Scotland, there are no residency requirements so you can marry in any church you choose. In practice, it may depend on availability and the individual minister who’s likely to want to meet couples who aren’t members of the church beforehand.

In Northern Ireland, one of the couple must be resident in the district where you plan to marry for at least 14 days before being eligible, unless you apply for a special licence

Do I have to attend church before I can get married there?

Not for a Church of England ceremony, although if your heart is set on marrying in a church where you have no connections, attending services for six months — even a single service each month — would allow this.

Do I have to be religious to have a church wedding?

Not necessarily. The Church of England says anyone is “welcome to have a Church of England wedding, regardless of your beliefs… as vicars understand that spiritual beliefs are complex and varied”.

How far in advance should I book a UK church ceremony?

Churches can become booked up several months in advance, so ask the vicar or church office as early as possible, especially for popular dates. Many churches won’t arrange weddings during Lent, although this doesn’t apply to Catholic ceremonies.

How much will a church ceremony cost?

The legal fee for marrying in 2015 costs £486 in England and around £500 in Wales, which covers expenses for calling the banns, the certificate, vicar and church. Extras such as having an organist, bells, choir or flowers — as well as heating — will incur an additional cost. In Scotland and Northern Ireland there are no fixed costs.

Can I use my own vows in church?

Not in England and Wales, where legally no part of the wedding vows can be changed. However it’s possible to include poems, readings or songs which have a special significance in the service, depending on the individual vicar. In Scotland, you can vary the traditional forms or write your own with the minister’s approval.

Can I decorate a church with my own flowers?

Yes. Most churches will be able to recommend someone, but you can also use your own florist. It’s worth discussing any plans for large displays with the vicar to check they won’t cause any problems during the ceremony.

What happens during a church wedding rehearsal?

The rehearsal is a chance for the bride and groom, as well as bridesmaids, the best man and any family and friends who are involved in the ceremony, to run through the service and make sure everyone knows what to expect.

Will my guests be allowed to throw confetti outside the church?

The rules on throwing confetti vary from church to church so it’s worth asking whether or not confetti is allowed so that you can inform your guests in advance. If confetti is not allowed then the church might allow a natural or bio-degradable substitute.

Can I have my reception in the church hall?

Yes, although it depends on the individual church and their facilities. However you can also arrange the reception at another venue if you prefer.

When marrying abroad

Considering getting married in Spain, France, Greece, Italy or Mustique? You’ll need to do your homework first – luckily for you, we’ve done the legal bit for you…

CERTIFICATE OF NO IMPEDIMENT (CNI)

What? A certificate confirming there are no objections to your marriage.

How? It is a legal requirement that each party gives notice prior to any proposed marriage. You’ll need to arrange a meeting at your local register office – your notice will then be displayed for 15 days before your CNI is issued.

When? The certificate is issued without an expiry date. However, the country in which you intend to marry may have its own validity period; so check.

Who? If you are getting married in Italy, Spain or Greece, you will be asked for a CNI. You’ll need to get your CNI translated and sworn before the courts or Justice of the Peace in the relevant country.

Cost? A register office notice fee costs £35 per person while there is no charge for a CNI.

STATUTORY DECLARATION

What? A legal declaration used to confirm your single status.

How? You will need to make a declaration under oath, in the presence of a solicitor, stating your intent to marry in the destination that you have chosen.

When? This document must be obtained within three months of your intended wedding date.

Who? Italian law requires a Statutory Declaration.

Cost? The cost is nominal (from £5).

LEGALISATION

What? The Foreign & Commonwealth Office needs to certify your statutory declaration and CNI as genuine.

How? You will need to complete the legalisation application form at gov.uk and then send away the relevant documents and payment to be processed.

When? Immediately after you have your Statutory Declaration and CNI, as the SD has a three-month expiry date.

Who? Weddings in Spain, Greece and Italy require the legalisation of documents.

Cost? This service costs £30 per document, plus postage.

The countdown

The perfect Wedding needs planning and we thought that this 12 month handy planner maybe just the job to ensure you are organised for the big day;

12 months to go…

Have the budget conversation with your fiancé and your parents
Fix a date and time
Decide on guest numbers
Visit reception venues and book one as soon as possible
Buy wedding insurance

11 months to go…

Send save-the-dates
Book your photographer and videographer (Make sure the church or wedding venue allows photos and videos to be shot!)
Book the caterer, DJ and/or band
Make appointments to try on wedding dresses

10 months to go…

Choose your guests – bridesmaids, ushers and best man etc.
Decide on your dress (allow at least six months for a made-to-measure dress to be delivered)
Choose and order your bridesmaid’s outfits.
Start thinking about a honeymoon, including the costs, season and flights

9 months to go…

Find a florist and discuss your flowers, including buttonholes, bouquets and arrangements for the church and reception venue
Taste and confirm your menu and drinks with your caterer
Choose and order your bridesmaid outfits

8 months to go…

If you’re getting married in a church, discuss readings with the minister or priest and music with the musicians
If it’s a civil ceremony, enquire about what readings and music are permitted
Order invitations and envelopes (allow one invitation per married couple or family), plus place cards, menus and a seating plan

7 months to go…

Book transport to the wedding venue and on to the reception for you and your bridal party (as well as a car to take you to your first-night hotel or the airport)
Order your wedding cake
Choose and order wedding favours

6 months to go…

Remind your fiancé to get his and the usher’s outfits
Choose gifts for the wedding party
Pick your wedding rings
Confirm the order of service with your priest or registrar, and then have guest booklets printed. If you have a choir, they need copies, too

5 months to go…

Go honeymoon shopping (Remember summer clothes aren’t easy to find in the winter and vice versa!)
Book a hairdresser and style consultation (do this earlier if you’re planning to grow your hair)
Book your make-up artist and trial appointments

4 months to go…

If you’re changing your name, renew your passport now or do it after you have your honeymoon. The officiating minister or registrar will sign the form
Find out if you need visas or inoculations for your honeymoon.
Discuss hen and stag night plans with your friends.

3 months to go…

Pick a company and start gift-list window shopping!
Book for a colour (if you get your hair coloured) and a trim
Organise a rehearsal and inform those who will need to be there
Attend a reading of the banns, if you’ll marry in a church

2 months to go…

Send out invitations six weeks before the day and keep a list of acceptances
Check that your fiancé has organised the rings, his wedding clothes, and your first-night hotel
Try on your whole wedding outfit, including headdress, shoes and underwear. Forgotten anything? Get it!
Book any other beauty treatments (nails, fake tans, etc.)

1 month to go…

Confirm numbers with caterers and do the seating plan
Discuss special requests with your band or DJ
Order honeymoon currency and traveller’s cheques
Visit the hairdresser to try out hairstyles with your veil and tiara, and have your final cut and colour
Have your hen and stag nights – after all that running around, it’s time to party!